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Runty Bunt Schmidt-Reitwein's Cut-Out Guide to Elongatering yer Knob

Started by Sam, August 26, 2014, 02:40:01 AM

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Sam

I was stooping in an alleyway to hide from a mini-witch when I found Schmidt-Reitwein's famously outlawed guide next to some grit.

I swept it up and went to Mrs Tisbit's for tea, as I am accustomed.

After I had folded her away and dismantled her socks I removed nearly all my clothes and lay spangled on the rug toward Bethlehem. I consulted the guide and pressed my 'knob' into the cartoon pipe. I tightened the nuts and heaved until I burped out of my Betsy.

'Heave Ho! Book the pitch and putt - I'll pup my own seal', I yipped.

Sure enough my tawdry tackle began to elongate until it was nearly elongeratered to Shrove Tuesday.

Since that day I have been able to thwack at bystanders from a verge and knock over lilt cans perched on a brick barbecue.

Schmidt-Reitwein had only this to say:

'I am the silent partner of a plastic chickenery, and a semi-profitable one at that.'

Ibid!