If you won.....

[Rubbish Monkey]

Lottery moneys.....

If you won......what would you (or jebus) do?

When he scooped the jackpot. Ken had no idea his life would soon shatter. The former lorry driver, now 72, split his winnings with his 3 sons.... but rows over the cash tore his family apart, amid the feud his wife died of a blood clot.

A year after winning, Roy Wilson died, but felt he set up his family for life.
His son, Barry, blew his share on heroin, amphetamines and cannabis.  He spent £125,000 on drugs after his fathers death and hitting the rails. and went to prision soon after.

Alcoholic, Phillip Kitchen, quickly died after a lotto win. After borrowing £5 for fags and a lotto ticket he bought a £500,000 house. But it also worseed his drinking. Two years later, after the win, he died. Found surrounded by crates of lager and whiskey. The inquest found he was drinking a bottle of spirits, a litre of wine, and up to 8 cans of lager, per day. The coroner found he died of bronchitis after not eating for 6 weeks. Recorded death was self neglect/

So, if you won.....what would you do with it?

[5 Knuckle Shuffle]

Wasn't there one lottery winner who only left his house after four years; only in coffin? He'd lived on a diet solely of lager and takeaways?
It's never done my student life any harm.

Anyway, I'd put it all back on the lottery. Just think of the better chances of you winning. Lovely.

[king mob]

I'd buy a flat in Paris & drink absinthe all year round.

[Garfield And Friends]

...and my third wish would be for another 3 wishes...

[terrorist]

I'd buy a flat in Paris & drink absinthe all year round.

I read that as "fiat", I thought well there's a modest choice for a lottery winner. But I was wrong...........sadly.....

I'd buy an island in the carribean and a boat (and live there).

[Bill Oddie]

Lots of Ferraris and a huge duckpond please.

[blue jammer]

Depends how big the win was, if it was several million, I'd sort a few people out, errr then make sure friends and family got a decent wedge, then I'd be off galavanting, checking the world out, and probably spending far too much time and money in Amsterdam :)

Oh and I'd set up a music distribution company which wouldn't accept phone calls or e-mails, and generally wouldn't accept anyone that didn't have a 5 or more album back catalogue, ohhh that'll be just like most of the current distribution, cunts.

[Doctor Stamen]

I'd invest a lot of mine in property, fairly modest places in Birmingham, London, Dublin, Barcelona and maybe New York, depending on how much I won.  Then i'd spend loads on cars, definitely an MG X-Power SV, probably a new Ford GT and maybe something like a Porsche 911 GT3, just for popping down to Lidl in at the weekend.  I'd give loads to my nearest friends, treat them all to holidays and stuff.

It's not going to happen though, as I stopped buying lottery tickets years ago because far too many deserving causes get turned down in favour of keeping some stupid fucking Greek marbles (or whatever - i'm being hypothetical there) in the country.

[Doctor Stamen]

huge duckpond

You goddamn sicko!

[twatloops]

I'd buy a flat in Paris & drink absinthe all year round.

I read that as "fiat", I thought well there's a modest choice for a lottery winner. But I was wrong...........sadly.....

I'd buy an island in the carribean and a boat (and live there).

You never know, perhaps he meant to say Fiat and was aspiring to a job as a Parisian Paparazzi after another royal scoop.

I think I'm one of those people who fools themselves into thinking they'd carry on working and be happy knowing there was no real need to go in to work if it all got a bit much.

Having said that, I guess you have to enter to win, don't you?

It's the guys who quit everything and change every aspect of their lives in a single move that end up schizo.

[wasp_f15ting]

The interest alone on these is fairly hefty is it not? £10,000,000 will yield around £400,000 a year? Well that's with the shitty banks here, I'd source the money to foreign banks as an NRI, I think you can do it if you have someone who you know lives there etc (must be family) this way you can avoid tax on the interests to an extent.

What would I do? 1st thing would be to fly to India, take my sister to Japan and treat her to loads of kiddie anime, she's well into that. I'll take my dad to New Orleans and Las Vegas for the jazz. I'd get my mum to meet Rick Stein, I think that's his name, the fish cooking guy?, she loves fish, I'll get her a holiday in the reef so she can fish all she wants.

For my granddad I'd take him to Burma where he fought in World War 2, so I could let him tell me the stories he always wants to tell. I'd buy my gran a day a massive garden so it's built into where she lives; she loves growing stuff like the hobbits. They are my sudden family. I think I'd do the most for them first as without them I would not be here :)

For myself (you would have guessed) buy a massive place in Berlin, for my kinks, (which I would go to every 3 months, otherwise it'll be a good 1st class dungeon with glass floors too, so people can watch from all angles. I'd get some property in Alaska or really north Canada for my old age. (I would want to spend my twilight years there I think) Mongolia too, I want some property there. Maybe a small cafe on a trail tracks so I can stay there and talk to all the nomads on their treks and journeys.  

I am not sure what the trading rules in china are, but I would love to set up an orphanage of some sort, where abandoned kids can be kept, train them and connect them to local industry etc, I'd want a small return for the favour of training them etc ;)

Ooh and a trip to Antarctica! that would be one of my definite wants. I love ice and isolation. I'd love to take a few of my mates on a massive oil tanker, empty the oil holds, and make a nice club place with thick Astroturf and stuff, nice bean bags,  with glass walls on the hull of the ship, so we could watch the cold Antarctic environment whilst listening to some nice music, Ulrich Schnauss would do nicely :)

That is some of what I would do if I win, I'd document it all of course since documented experience for me has more meaning. Whether it be pictorial or verbal. Then I'd send a dvd/cd of it to everyone I knew. I have many plans inside my head for what I would do. If only eh.....

[the hum]

A fucking huge recording studio, nice house, car etc etc.  I'd of course probably lose my social group, and the grandiose songs I'd planned to write in said studio about the dangers of capitalism and rich tax-dodging bastards might seem a tad hypocritical under the circumstances, but hey.  Oh, and I've never actually bought a lottery ticket in my life.

[pretty dead boy]

that was well nice to read, wasp fisting.
i have nothing incisive or witty to add, but it was.  i hope my friend wins the lottery so she can do fuckall with her time if she wants to, but i hope you do too, you'd put it to top use.

[TotalNightmare]

weed... lots and lots of weed...

and enough money to fund my own Edinburgh show OR a sketch comedy album.

AND WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!!







Actually, i have no fucking clue.

[Smackhead Kangaroo]

Obviously my immediate family would recieve a good amount. Then I'd pave the planet in tarmac and rule the world by holding it to ransom.

I wonder why a family would feud hugely about the money they recieve. It's free for fuck's sake.

It seems rather obvious that all you need is a bit of a handle on excess and you' won't die. I'd guess the reason all those debauched tossers died is because they didn't know when to quit, whereas when they were moneyless they were restricted by a job and their limited income.

Fuckwits.

[Dr. Gizmonic]

I'd put a hit out on the Chuckle brothers and use the remainder to make a dent in my student loan.

[hencole]

I'd buy out the cookdandbombd address and then close the site down just leaving a solitary picture of Jamie Oliver.

[Frinky]

I'd make a lifesize Milennium Falcon and live in it.

[swinny]

I'd probably be very boring...just pay off all my debts and those of my family and closest friends...get a nice house, few cars etc.

I've always thought though that I wouldnt just go out an buy the things I really wanted...like the Ferrari....but rather invest some of the money in small local businesses and friends ventures etc in the hope of actually putting the money to some good use and then "earning" my dream car that way....as great as it would be to burn around the streets of Oxford in a nice new Modena, it'd be a lot more satisfying if it was because I'd done something towards it more than just watching a few balls roll about on TV one night....

...thats the theory of course...sure I'd be straight down the local Porsche dealershi as soon as the money was in the bank!

[smoker]

mmm sort out family and close friends with something they need or have always wanted
buy caribbean island to use as base
set up ninja training academy on island
travel

[Bilko]

Give it all to Al Qaeda

[23 Daves]

The great thing about winning the lottery is that it would free up a lot more time to do the things i do in my spare time already much better.  So - writing, putting on gigs, and small-time publishing with the aim of it getting much bigger.

Also, I don't know if I'd be able to resist the temptation to take out a couple of major advertisements somewhere for something totally underground and inappropriate.  You could even buy advertising space and strategically place interviews with people in periodicals like the Daily Mail and The Sun.

[Sherringford Hovis]

Give it all to Al Qaeda

I'll PM you with my address - please send the money forthwith.

(Mrs Hovis is a camel-jockey: why else d'you think I'm so under the thumb? I'm scared of just how well-connected her family might be...)

[MojoJojo]

Great, now we're going to get loads of FBI agents on here now.

I wander if they still pretend to be teenage girls all the time:

"I love Christopher Morris, he so Dreamy"

[elderford]

Bunch of losers, Frinky came close with his Millennium Falcon, the correct answer is of course:

JET PACKS

Marty McFly stylee

HOVERBOARDS

and then, sexually transmitted diseases.

[Frinky]

Bunch of losers, Frinky came close with his Millennium Falcon

Apart from the spelling, that is.

I know a guy who's actually doing it, though, he's finished a life-size snowspeeder and he owns a plot of land somewhere down south, I believe, and he's going through architectural hoops at the moment tying to get it sorted.

Yes, he's loaded.

[elderford]

Supposedly the Milennium Falcon is reused standing on end as a street exterior in Blade Runner.

[Frinky]

One of the smaller filming miniatures was used as part of a city skyscape, yes, I believe it was painted black or something. Never noticed it myself. I think it was one of the shoddier models from the first film (the later films' models were all around 4 foot or more).

Sorry, you don't really care, do you? :)

[elderford]

Frinky, of course I care, we're talking about the the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs!

[king mob]

I would buy the Tardis & get away from the sheer pointlessness of sitting about supervising staff doing nothing.