Googie Wigglenuts and His High-Velocity Walnuts!

[Glebe]

"Hi all, Googie here with my patented High-Velocity Walnuts™... no, it's not innuendo for rude balls, they really are those hard-shell based favourites goin' beyond the sound of speed! I lob 'em at all and sundry, y'guaranteed a gleat time!

"With these lovelies spinning hither and thither and going up aunty's clout you're guaranteed barrels of fun for all the fuckwits! I once interrupted a garden party with my personally-designed nutwhizzas, they caused laughter and mayhem from here to Timbuktu! So go on, what are you waiting for? Order now and I'll throw in my little-known patented 'gleating' device, guaranteed to bring the house down whatever the occasion!"

£399.99 plus P&P. Calls cost twenty pee per second. Call 01093425724757-998993 and ask for 'Sarah'.