"What are you like, eh? Heh heh..."

[cilamc]

The BBC are "testing the nation" once again, with Nick Knowles personality test. So you can find out what you are like, like.

Imagine my horror to discover that I am a "Cunt".

Thanks to whoever it was who mentioned seeing Knowles on TV recently trying to hide a cigarrette while on camera.

http://www.bbc.co.uk

[Partridge's Love Child]

Thanks to whoever it was who mentioned seeing Knowles on TV recently trying to hide a cigarrette while on camera.

I think that was me.  In our house his name is prefixed by the words "Secret Smoking".

[Jemble Fred]

They've got one of these tests in the Radio Times this week. I started doing the first few questions, and then I thought – FUCK OFF! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT ALL ABOUT? WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY TO DECIDE WHO I AM AND WHICH QUESTIONS DECIDE A PERSON'S WHOLE OUTLOOK ON LIFE. MOTHERFUCKING CUNT-CUNTS!!!

Then I put the magazine down and had a cup of tea.

[zozman]

I didn't go that far - because I'm a RESOLVER

[Partridge's Love Child]

Your answers suggest you are a puff.

Lumme.

[Pinball]

God there's enough of this corporate-type bullshit at work without the BBC rolling it out nationwide. Once again, Auntie Beeb is trying to educate the masses, patronising buggers (the Beeb that is, not the masses).

[TotalNightmare]

it told me that i was god...

i wasnt so sure

so i did it again for a 2nd opinion

then it told me i was the devil

i still wasnt convinced

a third attempt told me that rather than being one or the other, i was in fact, lazy and liable to give up too eary rather than seek the truth...

By this time, i couldnt be arsed to do it again.

[Jet Set Willy]

Mastermind

[untitled_london]

Results:


Mainly A's:
regardless of how you answered the entry questions, you are in fact a teenage girl.


Mainly B's:
regardless of how you answered the entry questions, you are in fact a teenage girl.

Mainly c's:
regardless of how you answered the entry questions, you are in fact a teenage girl.


Mainly D's:
regardless of how you answered the entry questions, you are in fact a teenage girl.

[terminallyrelaxed]

What a load of absolute arse.

I am, apparently:

Spontaneous instead of a Planner - I'm fucking glacial mate, and have extensive plans for things that won't even happen.
Facts rather than Ideas - so, so wrong.
Head over Heart - I wish.
Extrovert rather than Introvert - look, just fuck off, you couldnt be more wrong if you tried.

Honestly, who designed this, Joseph Heller? I could have honestly clicked on at least three of the answers for any of the questions. I know you're supposed to choose what "best" describes you, but:

When it comes to expressign yourself do you.....

a) Hold back more, listening to others before speaking
b) Think before you speak
c) Think out loud
d) Use your hands and facial expressions a lot

Now they seem related, but are they really? d) certainly seems to be irrelevant to the other three, and actually c) doesnt bear much relation to the other three either - does anyone know what I mean? I'm having trouble illustrating it here....

[MojoJojo]

Mastermind

When I followed that link, I got :

Code Select Expand


Results
Your answers suggest you are undefined



Which is way better than Mastermind, IMO.

Started the test then got bored. It is a quite well know test, my girlfriend went on about for ages.

I got Spontaneous and Facts  before i got bored.

[Jet Set Willy]

Mastermind

When I followed that link, I got :

Code Select Expand


Results
Your answers suggest you are undefined



Which is way better than Mastermind, IMO.

That suggests that I am a dunderhead.

[Purple Tentacle]

Once again, Auntie Beeb is trying to educate the masses, patronising buggers

Um... that's their remit!

Certainly the remit of Reithian BBC, and one to which they should return to.

This isn't it, however. What a pile of shit.

[Partridge's Love Child]

There's also a Test The Nation all about music this weekend presented by Philip Schofield and That Witch.  I've no doubt the questions will all be about No Doubt and the like, rather than "is this a quaver or a semi-breeve".

Just answer Kiki Dee for every question, you're bound to get at least one right.

[Jaffa The Cake]

Did anyone get this kind of feeling with that test.... (with my selected answers in bold)

QUESTIONS:

1. When you're in a group, how much do you talk?
(   ) Not a lot
(   ) A bit
( ) A lot
(   ) Most of the time

2. Which describes you best?
(   ) Quiet, tired, thoughtful
(   ) Angry, magic, whale
(   ) Three, unrelated, words
( ) Enthusiastic, determined, alert

3. What is your favourite colour?
( ) Black
(   ) Orange
(   ) A different orange

RESULTS

Your answers suggest you are enthusiastic, determined and alert, you talk a lot in groups and your favourite colour is black.

[Jemble Fred]

Okay, I had a look. What unmitigated shite. Did anyone wholly agree with anything they clicked? Because there are only four ways of reacting to any situation, aren't there? And therefore only about ten different types of personality? I had a look at a Millionaire one. The options were:

Your Aunt leaves you £800 Do you:

( ) Invest it?
( ) Buy a car?
( ) Have a great big holiday?

I mean, for fuck's sake! Fisher Price psychology.

[untitled_london]

What a load of absolute arse.

I am, apparently:

Spontaneous instead of a Planner - I'm fucking glacial mate, and have extensive plans for things that won't even happen.
Facts rather than Ideas - so, so wrong.
Head over Heart - I wish.
Extrovert rather than Introvert - look, just fuck off, you couldnt be more wrong if you tried.

Honestly, who designed this, Joseph Heller? I could have honestly clicked on at least three of the answers for any of the questions. I know you're supposed to choose what "best" describes you, but:

When it comes to expressign yourself do you.....

a) Hold back more, listening to others before speaking
b) Think before you speak
c) Think out loud
d) Use your hands and facial expressions a lot

Now they seem related, but are they really? d) certainly seems to be irrelevant to the other three, and actually c) doesnt bear much relation to the other three either - does anyone know what I mean? I'm having trouble illustrating it here....

thank you soooo much, thats perfectly sums up my feelings in a nut shell.

btw, glacial & extensive planning got a roar of laughter and a continued giggle from me.

[edit]
i hit all four of those too, spontaneous, facts, head, & extrovert :S

[Partridge's Love Child]

[Some stuff]

I found my answers were rather like this:

1.  How would you best descibe your attitude to your job?

a) I live for it, it's the most important thing in my life.
b) It's important to me, I have professional pride.
c) Oh just bloody pick an answer, none of them apply and you'll inevitably just say "Well, that's bollocks" once you get the results.
d) Tony Jacklin.

[Gazeuse]

I am a councillor...

Counsellors are least likely to describe themselves as atheists, according to a UK survey.

Balls.

[hymen spaz]

i'm a big thinker apparently

have you ever noticed how if you get an answer you don;t like, you go back and change it till you geta result you like?

[Jet Set Willy]

This program is so shit, they are fucking around with their footage and the facts SO MUCH to make them fit in with what the psychologists said.

[TraceyQ]

I'm an innovator. What a crock.

[notnotnatnats]

I'm an innovator too. A bored one at that.

I'm sure that show is someones GCSE psychology project.

[mook]

I'm an idealist apparently...  pah, load of old bollocks.


That presenter chappy looks rank though dunnee? I reckon he's got a bit of a gin problem, either that or his mum got knocked up by one of those sharpay(sp?) dogs. I've know idea who he is but i don't like him, his tie is way to big. scrunchy faced cunt.

[Baltimora]

This is clearly a bastardised, lowest common denominator version of the Meyers-Briggs/Jungian personality test based on the intro/extrovert, thinking/feeling, judging/perceiving and another one which I can't remember, quadraped of supposed facets of our collective personalities.

For those who want a slightly - I emphasise slightly as this is the internet - more scientific approach try www.similarminds.com. Used by shrinks to find out just how mmmmmmmmmmad you might be.

Christ I despair, I really do. Are people stupid or is television patronising? Discuss.

I'm a strategist by the way.

[chand]

Why would I want to watch personality tests on TV? I can just go and read someone's livejournal, where they've pasted one in from some stupid site.

[skibz]

This test is a pile of shit. The answers given are simply too specific for the questions, and thus every one has to be an extreme generalisation. For example, sometimes when I go out with friends, I talk a lot, sometimes very little - I don't think there's anyone who talks for exactly the same proportion of the time every night they spend out with friends.

And I don't remember what I do when I shop, it just happens.

[9]

yes this type of thing doesn't take into account personality division, which seems to be very common these days. I remember Harfyn started a great thread about his different personalities once...