#makefilm

[SetToStun]

Make a film about a man stuck on a long train journey. The toilets are out of service and the man is desperate for a poo. Things are getting tense when the man suddenly remembers: he has a hat. The rest kind of writes itself when you think about it.

[touchingcloth]

Make a film about a man stuck on a long train journey. The toilets are out of service and the man is desperate for a poo. Things are getting tense when the man suddenly remembers: he has a hat. The rest kind of writes itself when you think about it.

Make a film about two men who meet on a train and shit in each other's hats.

[Noodle Lizard]

I also have a horror script about a dead clown (called The Zeppo) who made a deal with the Devil (a large, insurance salesman looking bastard called Big John) in order to be re-united with his probably-a-bit-too-young bride.  Turns out though that his bride is, and always has been, just a corpse and he proceeds to play house with it for a while.  But the bride, eventually tiring of The Zeppo's abuse and neuroses, begins to re-animate and take revenge.  Or something.

There's a bit where the lizards outside the house are speaking Korean, The Zeppo removing part of his face while attempting to scrub off his make-up and Big John singing 'A Hymn To The Morning Star' while The Zeppo consummates his relationship with the bride.  It all has a 50s sitcom laugh track, censorship bleeps and is utterly unfilmable.  Yours if you want it.

[checkoutgirl]

Make a film about a man stuck on a long train journey. The toilets are out of service and the man is desperate for a poo. Things are getting tense when the man suddenly remembers: he has a hat. The rest kind of writes itself when you think about it.

You could do a sequel where the man is on a train and needs to evacuate but the toilets are not an option for him. He goes on the internet asking for advice saying the toilets are not an option. The film ends with him going on the internet saying there were toilets but he just doesn't like the automatic doors. I'm full of ideas me.

[newbridge]

Film as many scenarios from the "Desolation" thread as possible in vignettes no longer than 20-30 seconds, then link them together with no overarching narrative or explanation.[nb]Would actually be good.[/nb]

[checkoutgirl]

Make a film called I Am Ian Kitten and I Am The Best, and it is just footage of you masturbating in front of a bank of 100 video screens each of which features footage of you masturbating in front of a bank of 100 video screens each of which features a slow motion image of your writing, turgid form, and the music is just you putting on a girl's voice and going "Ian Kitten is the best ooh Ian Kitten is so good, la la la la la, I like Ian Kitten and I like wanks".

Don't do that.

[kittens]

it's the strongest idea so far

[touchingcloth]

Don't do that.

No, don't. I've realised that at the bottom of the pit should be slow-mo footage of kittens wanking over himself in the mirror.

[Danger Man]

The UK has never had its own Ugly George

Ugly George (real name George Urban), as cable vets might recall, was a public access cult figure (and purveyor of soft-core porn) in the late 70s and early 80s. He would tote his hefty camera around New York City on his back and somehow coax and convince women to conduct interviews in various states of undress.

http://www.lightreading.com/ugly-george/a/d-id/650140

so you could make a film where you ask girls to take their clothes off.

You could call yourself 'Handsome Kittens' instead of Ugly George.

[mook]

kittens you shit. watch this.

http://streamonline.me/mulaney-season-1-episode-1-pilot/#.VDKEiRbFZac

[Dex Sawash]

Make a film about the making of film.
Talk to the people who fasten all those little frames together to make the big chain of film.
Is films still made?

[fit bird]

Make a film about the story of kittens crowd pleasers and it could be like that film about that radio station on the boat.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Make a film about the story of kittens crowd pleasers and it could be like that film about that radio station on the boat.

So, not very good then?