The 'Ive nothing of worth to say' Thread

[Purple Tentacle]

According to his iMDB entry, Chris Morris is 39 today. So happy birthday him.

RHX: i have completely stolen your post for a thread. Sorry about that.
http://chilled.cream.org/forums/viewtopic.php?p=116135#116135

[gazzyk1ns]

I'm coming straight outta Trumpton

[Cerys]

The size of this thread is now beginning to scare me.  I have visions of it achieving sentience just before Neil locks it, and holding the world to ransom with its long spindly virtual tentacles.

And it'll all be TotalNightmare's fault.

[weekender]

Oh no!  This thread wasn't locked when it got to exactly 200 pages!  What a fucking disaster we have on our hands.  Why wasn't someone monitoring every single post to this thread so that it could be locked on exactly the start of the 200th page?

[slim]

Hello Mum!



(I wanted to be part of history...)

[terminallyrelaxed]

This morning it was wrong number. Twice. Is there some kind of fucking conspiracy to wake me up early this month?
Because yes I really, really need an extra couple of hours in the morning of having no money, very little to eat, nothing to do, nothing to smoke and nowhere to go. Thanks a fucking bunch you dozy bitch, now go and have another carefree day feeling smug in the sunshine. I hope your mobile gives you head-cancer.

[Dr David V]

Hello Mum!

Calm down dear, it's only a thread.

[mr suit]

i'm moving to Manchester tomorrow, Burton Road, West Didsbury, any local 'whores are more than welcome to pop in for a cup of coffee.

[gazzyk1ns]

The vibrator on my phone has been bordering on dead for the last few weeks, but now it's back with a vengeance. If you hear of a small earthquake in Suffolk in the near future then forget tectonic plates and fault lines, it will have been started by my mobile phone.

[Rats]

which will be jammed straight back up his arse after the unbearable wait. Now fixed with the vibrating mechanism, altered with a screwdriver, straining at full pelt. You'll find him arched over his armchair in a fuzzy blur, liquid guts dribbling out of his nose but with a look of utter contentment on his face.

[skibz]

You know, suddenly I don't feel very hungry anymore.

[m...wW(wwMww)Ww...m]

The chap on the news opened with the headline "Morning!  They're dead" this morning.  That's how it sounded, at least; he was actually saying "Mourning their dead."

[Frinky]

Chat?

[terminallyrelaxed]

Did anyone else sit through that Michael Aspell thing? I thought 'oh, another tv presenter had abloody good time in the sixties, big deal' but fucking hell! You can't make that shit up! Or maybe you can, I know technology is getting better but the production was very slick for a fly on the wall documentary. For those who are still scratching their heads, apparently Michael Aspell is the natural father of:

Gail Porter
Michelle Heaton (Liberty X)
Shane Lynch (racing driver)
Melinda Messenger
some american TV presenter
Scary Spice
Daniella Westbrook

....and 5 others who I can't remember, although not all are famous. Not everyone knew either, and some weren't pleased, aside from the absent father thing theres the fact that they've all managed to become famous, and some clearly wondered if they'd have got there without some help from him, although I'll give it to Shane Lynch, he's the one driving the car.

But bloody hell!
It doesnt mean anything to me of course, but its just one of those 'its a funny old world/whodathunkit' things....

[TraceyQ]

You do you know it's a "joke" don't you?

[terminallyrelaxed]

You can't make that shit up! Or maybe you can, I know technology is getting better but the production was very slick for a fly on the wall documentary............. For those who are still scratching their heads, apparently Michael Aspell is.....

But wouldnt it be cool if it was true though? It would certainly explain how some of these fucks got on TV....

[terminallyrelaxed]

It was good though wasnt it? At first I was like 'fair enough, fancy that', one famous illegitimate child is bloody good copy for the tabloids, but over a dozen just takes the piss, and I think the affair with Pamela Anderson was pushing it a bit....
The fifteen cameras at once stuff was too slick also, but I like that people are still making the effort to fuck with us a bit....