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Films You Switched Off Before The End

Started by checkoutgirl, October 07, 2014, 12:32:10 PM

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checkoutgirl

The Entity (1982)

This was on Martin Scorcese's top 10 favourite horror films list and that piqued my interest. I was a bit worried when the villain appeared to be the sound of a bloke hitting a piano with a mallet CLANG BONG CLANG BONG CLANG BONG. So she'd be driving along and suddenly you'd hear CLANG BONG CLANG BONG CLANG BONG and she'd crash her car or something. I gave up around the time she was raped by the entity. That was probably around the half hour mark. No thank you.

small_world

Quote from: non capisco on October 08, 2014, 08:52:20 PM
'The Fourth Kind', the alien abduction film with no aliens and no abductions in it. They didn't have any money for alien effects so the big bad in that is an owl looking through a window.

Ha, I was struggling to think of films I've turned off before the end.
This was one.
The Fourth Kind. I think I just got bored, couldn't see it going anywhere, but mostly, my gf fell asleep, so I knocked it off.

Normally, we'll sit through anything to the end, just for completion. Another film which was similar, in that I just couldn't see where it was going and didn't feel like I was losing out if I knocked it off, was Mulholland Drive. Just, really? Seemed so long, but it was actually just 2hrs 30mins.

Recently, we gave up on Bad Johnston, a film about a guy who keeps cheating on women.
I turned it off because it seemed like a porn intro, with no porn. Acting was horrible and the set up was shockingly poor. All of the characters seemed stupid, yet they lived in massive houses and never seemed to go to work.

thraxx

Quote from: checkoutgirl on October 08, 2014, 10:30:57 AM
It felt accurate at the time and it was very deliberately of its time, trance music, pills, that kind of thing. It's all poppercandlefarts and dubsteps these days. It's not a bad if you're 20 years old and watching it in 1999 with a few mates and you understand the references (this might be difficult to do now). I actually gave this a rewatch a couple of years ago and thought it held up reasonably well, but I thought it was okay the first time around. I can completely understand people getting irked by John Sim, he's a bit of a bell in it.

Yeah, this is spot on.  I saw it at Glasto as a young'un and then insisted about 5 years later that I watch it again with some mates.  What a mistake that was - it had dated horribly in just a few years and my new mates thought I was a right cunt, which is probably true, but not because I had watched Human Traffic a few years previously and had liked it.  We gave it up after about 30 minutes.

thraxx


Oh, yeah Independence Day and Wild Wild West.  The only two films that have made me walk out of cinema before the end.  Infuriatingly shite.  At least I didn't see the bit where the president leads the attack on the ship.  I felt dirty that in seeing the film I had paid to reinforce the pure cheese fallacy version of America that the film celebrates.

Wild Wild West was so stunningly shit, incoherent, badly advised - in every possible way - that ethnic cleansing from the gene pool everyone who has ever seen it, or paid money to support it directly or indirectly becomes a compelling and indeed morally necessary task.

checkoutgirl

F.A.R.T. The Movie (1991)

I'm not sure this even qualifies as a film, no budget, hardly any script and god knows if it was even ever released, apart from the odd video tape and Youtube. The plot seems to revolve around a fart enthusiast who bases his whole life around flatulence. Anyway his girlfriend is having a party and would prefer if the main character curtailed his main hobby for at least during the party if not forever. He doesn't and then what happens is..... By some miracle I got about an hour into this one, probably from morbid fascination. I'd recommend it to true bad film aficionados. It makes The Room (2003) look well made.

DukeDeMondo

Quote from: checkoutgirl on October 09, 2014, 11:01:13 AM
F.A.R.T. The Movie (1991)

I just watched a minute or two of that on YouTube and was surprised to see that it was co-written by Drew McWeeny, aka Moriarty off of Ain't It Cool News.

I knew McWeeny had been responsible for at least one hideous Mortal Kombat sequel, and one sort-of-decent episode of Masters of Horror (John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns), but I'd never heard of this.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: DukeDeMondo on October 09, 2014, 02:22:56 PM
I knew McWeeny had been responsible for at least one hideous Mortal Kombat sequel, and one sort-of-decent episode of Masters of Horror (John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns), but I'd never heard of this.

A few weeks ago I watched both of the Mortal Kombat films, that's how I roll and shit. Anyway you're watching the first one thinking "This isn't very good" but by the time you've finished the sequel the first one looks like a decent film. It's not but that's the power of comparison.

I just read on Wikipedia that a lot of the people involved in the production of F.A.R.T asked for their name to not be put on it. I can understand that.

Noodle Lizard

I made it 12 minutes into the 'Carrie' remake before bellowing "FUCK OFF" at the screen and switching it off.  Literally the dumbest shit.

wooders1978

A big theatrical stomp out during possibly the worst film I have ever seen (some of):

The boat that rocked

thenoise

Quote from: prwc on October 07, 2014, 11:47:56 PM
I never turn off films once I've started them, even if I sometimes really want to.

Same.  As a teenager I saw some awful films in the cinema and, rather than walking out, I instead opted for staying put and watching whatever the next film was in an attempt to get my money's worth.  I normally ended up enjoying it more due to my expectations being at rock bottom by this point.

I thought Human Traffic was dreadful at the time it came out btw, and I haven't revisited it since, despite some of my more party/druggy friends insisting that it's brilliant.  Really clunky and unfunny.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

I had been led to believe that this - an oddity in the series as it doesn't have the Michael Myers character - was a misunderstood classic. Switched it off after 10 minutes of B-movie acting, lots of dated synthy music and ropey effects.

I've only seen the original Halloween (fantastic), Halloween 6 I think (no I'm not thinking of H20) and now some of this third one, which I believe is a supernatural yarn about haunted Halloween masks. Worth bothering with?

newbridge

Quote from: thecuriousorange on October 19, 2014, 01:49:09 AM
Halloween III: Season of the Witch

I had been led to believe that this - an oddity in the series as it doesn't have the Michael Myers character - was a misunderstood classic. Switched it off after 10 minutes of B-movie acting, lots of dated synthy music and ropey effects.

I've only seen the original Halloween (fantastic), Halloween 6 I think (no I'm not thinking of H20) and now some of this third one, which I believe is a supernatural yarn about haunted Halloween masks. Worth bothering with?

I thought it was supposed to be a "classic" only in terms of being historically bad? I liked the HDTGM

Small Man Big Horse

I only got 40 minutes in to the recent Muppets movie before switching it off. Which was a shame as I love the other Muppets movies (bar In Space, which is really patchy, despite Jeffrey Tambor's presence in it). And it's not even Gervais related (though he is shit), more the muppets in-fighting, and no one noticing that Kermit's suddenly speaking with a Russian accent / is evil, really annoyed. Plus it's just not that funny. The odd joke works, but I don't know, I couldn't be arsed with it despite hardly ever turning off films.

Thomas

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on October 20, 2014, 11:28:09 PM
no one noticing that Kermit's suddenly speaking with a Russian accent

Come on, that is funny.

The Boat that Raped.

HAHARAPE.

Spoiler alert
FUCK OFF, RICHARD CURTIS.
[close]

checkoutgirl

Enter the Void (2009)

I tried to watch this a few years ago. I quite like Gaspar Noé's other work, I loved Irreversible (2002), it seems to divide opinion but it worked a treat on me. I then watched I Stand Alone (1998) off the back of that and enjoyed it. I think these films challenge me in a way that I find satisfying. I got about 15 minutes into Enter the Void (2009) before switching off in bafflement and boredom. It starts off in a Tokyo apartment that seems to be in the middle of a load of fluorescent lights and glowing street signs. The colours are a sensory attack. The protagonist is a drug dealer of some weird drug and I think he takes some of it and starts hallucinating. I think he goes to a night club and I don't know.... It's so tedious. No urgency to the thing at all. I wonder if it's worth another crack at it though, if I'm in a more placid mood maybe.

checkoutgirl

Ma Mere (2004)

Add this one to the list. I tried and tried but after about 9 aborted attempts I only got a little over an hour into this one. I just wanted to see the bit at the end where the guy is on the ground in front of his mother crying and wanking that I read about in a review. I could have skipped to that bit but I wanted to build up to it. Unfortunately the film is so insipid, the colours are washed out and the location is a resort island with boring dialogue and a stupid religious element to it. I thought I was up to it but no. Some of the scenes are tasteless beyond belief as the mother supervises her son's sexual initiation with a willing (and filthy) girl. The film's thrust appears to be this guy's mother is an incorrigible slut even in middle age and somehow this means she wants to sexually corrupt her religious son. It makes no sense at all and none of the filth being suggested seems at all justified. I will see that crying and wanking scene at some point though, I'm determined.

SteveDave

Quote from: Bored of Canada on October 21, 2014, 09:55:20 AM
The Boat that Raped.

HAHARAPE.

Spoiler alert
FUCK OFF, RICHARD CURTIS.
[close]

I turned this off when the boat was being battered by the waves of the storm. So in my version they all died.

El Unicornio, mang

I very rarely do it, but last night I had to switch off How To Train Your Dragon 2 before the end. I love Pixar and Disney films, but this is another example of why I don't like Dreamworks. The animation is lovely, but there's just something about the script and characters which really irritates me. The humour is really bad too.

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on October 24, 2014, 02:19:59 PM
...Dreamworks. The animation is lovely, but there's just something about the script and characters which really irritates me.

Using bankable stars to do the voices in films rather than people with vocal acting talent and experience is The Dreamworks Way, and it will always work. I hate just about everything they've shit out over the years since noticing this. Every time I happen to catch a short snippet of one I wince. They're completely joyless.

El Unicornio, mang

Yeah, I found the voice acting quite terrible. The lead character has literally the most annoying voice I've ever heard in a film.

JesusAndYourBush

I gave up on the 2nd Transformers film after about 20 minutes.
We're supposed to believe they've got the intelligence to develop the technology to travel to Earth from some distant galaxy, while at the same time not get annoyed that they dick about like a bunch of lobotomised three stooges. Maybe the payoff was that they're supposed to be children, I dunno, it just annoyed the fuck out of me.


phantom_power


Quote from: clingfilm portent on October 24, 2014, 11:21:01 PM
Using bankable stars to do the voices in films rather than people with vocal acting talent and experience is The Dreamworks Way, and it will always work. I hate just about everything they've shit out over the years since noticing this. Every time I happen to catch a short snippet of one I wince. They're completely joyless.


I'm not sure that is strictly true. How bankable is Jay Baruchel?

checkoutgirl

Quote from: phantom_power on October 25, 2014, 09:19:37 AM

I'm not sure that is strictly true. How bankable is Jay Baruchel?

Jay Baruchel is one of those actors who I'm convinced has pictures of the President of the World with the ceremonial goat, or maybe he's just got the best agent in the world. He keeps popping up in feature films despite a total lack of talent, charisma or even being fully awake. I'm still not sure what he is or what he is for.

phantom_power

He is good in Atapow things like Undeclared and his various film bit parts but yeah, he is one of the lower ranks of that stable of actors

mycroft

Fifteen laughter-free minutes of fucking Ted. And any fucker on my Twitter who quotes one of the endless parody accounts of that pile of shit gets instantly cuntblocked.

It is a point of lasting shame that I didn't get up and leave the building when forced to endure Strictly Ballroom. I have, however, had an obvious epiphany as a result of this horrific experience: If you pretend not to despise something in order to impress someone you fancy, there is no way it can end well; at best, it'll finish horribly as you have nothing important in common; at worst, you'll find yourself having a rugby themed wedding, where everyone comes dressed as Noel Fielding characters and eats mushrooms.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: mycroft on October 25, 2014, 10:22:47 PM
Fifteen laughter-free minutes of fucking Ted.

You missed nothing, it's a terrible film. At one point the guy who played Flash Gordon shows up, and we're supposed to think it's hilarious, like Wilson Phillips in Bridesmaids.

Quote from: phantom_power on October 25, 2014, 09:19:37 AM

I'm not sure that is strictly true. How bankable is Jay Baruchel?

Well, ok.

I'm thinking more of your Kung Fu Pandas, Madagascars and such. Sequel after sequel of sewage. Over the Hedge, anyone?

Another one that someone reminded me of in the other thread was Primer.

Now I'm not saying that people with aspbergers shouldn't be able to make films for other people with aspbergers, but this was one impenetrable, mumbly load of twaddle.