The Twelve Days of CaBsmas

[alan nagsworth]

Let's have a festive sing-song! Fuck it, if it goes past twelve let's just keep rolling. I'm not having those fascist honky carol bleaters tell me how many days my holiday season should be. I'm in it for the long haul, FOREVER if that's what it takes to get the message across.

And a-one, and a-two...

On the first day of CaBsmas, my Verbwhores gave to me...

A foreskin pickled in wee.

[alcoholic messiah]

On the second day of CaBsmas[nb]Technically, it should be Coo*Bomas, but since it doesn't scan, I'll let that one slide.[/nb], my Verbwhores[nb]This, however, should definitely be Coo*Bods.[/nb] gave to me...

Two servile mums
and a foreskin pickled in wee.

[alan nagsworth]

On the third day of CaBsmas, my Coo*Bods gave to me...

Three mental Glebe threads
Two servile mums
and a foreskin pickled in wee.

[BlodwynPig]

On the foreskin of CaBmess, my Coo*Moos gave to me...

Four biggy mysteries
Three mental Glebe threads
Two servile mums
and a foreskin pickled in wee

[Cerys]

On the fifth day of CaBmas, my cuntlings gave to me...

Five other thinks![nb]coming[/nb]
Four biggy mysteries
Three mental Glebe threads
Two servile mums
and a foreskin pickled in wee

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

On the sixth day of CaBmas the sausage-fest received...

Six surly slapheads
Five other thinks![1]
Four biggy mysteries
Three mental Glebe threads
Two servile mums
and a foreskin pickled in wee

[non capisco]

On the seventh day of CaBmas you wazzocks gave to me

Seven Derkes a-gurning
Six surly slapheads
Fiiiiiiiiiiiive other thiiiiiiiiiiiinks![nb]It bloody is things[/nb]
Four biggy mysteries
Three mental Glebe threads
Two servile mums
And a foreskin pickled in weeeeeeeee

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

On the seventh day of CaBmas the unemployed received

Eight Mooks a Moo(l)king
Seven Derkes a-gurning
Six surly slapheads
Fiiiiiiiiiiiive other thiiiiiiiiiiiinks![1]
Four biggy mysteries
Three mental Glebe threads
Two servile mums
And a foreskin pickled in weeeeeeeee

[alcoholic messiah]

On the set of Paris, Texas, Ry Cooder gave to me...

Nine Pipex rapings
eight MOOKs a MOO(l)King
Seven Derkes a-gurning
Six surly slapheads
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive other thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinks![1!!!11!!!1!!]
Four biggy mysteries
Three mental Glebe threads
Two servile mums
Aaaaaand a fooooooreskiiiiii-in pickled in weeeeeeeeeeee

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Twelve drummers being ignored for other band members
Eleven lords-a-selling off the family silver and being phased out of Parliament
Ten maids-a-made redundant by automatisation in the dairy industry

I could go on, but I think you get I'm a cynic.

[alcoholic messiah]

On the thirteenth day of CaBsmas, Sy Snootles gave to me...

Thirteen flouncers flouncing
Twelve drummers being ignored for other band members
Eleven lords-a-selling off the family silver and being phased out of Parliament
Ten maids-a-made redundant by automatisation in the dairy industry
Nine Pipex rapings
eight MOOKs a MOO(l)King
Seven Derkes a-gurning
Six surly slapheads
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive other thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinks![1!!!11!!!1!!1!!1!!]
Four biggy mysteries
Three mental Glebe threads
Two servile mums
Aaaaaaaaaand a fooooooooreskiiiiiiiii-in pickled in weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee