Twattish aftershave and perfume

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Nicky Minaj- Minajesty.


Created by Nicky herself using rose petals in a milk bottle filled with warm water this fragrance is for the type of women who get massive implants to make their arses look huge. Dab this on your neck and you'll be beating scrawny youths with gelled fringes off with a shitty stick down at the youth club before you know it.




One Direction- Our Moment

Distilled from the combined bodily excreta of the band collected over an extended concert tour and then combined with rose petals in water, this fragrance will have Harry Styles attempting to spike your Bacardi Breezer with rohypnol backstage at a OD gig before you know it.

[Mr_Simnock]

I'm convinced this is is made by and for utter cunts

[biggytitbo]

What is the point of aftershave and perfume? They all smell revolting. Natural musk is much better, thats my excuse anyway and I'm stuck with it.

[Danger Man]

Mandate.

Man. Date.

A mandate on the date to be the man on the date with a mandate.

[Danger Man]

Wonderwood by Comme des Garcons is my current 'perfume'.

An Evocation of Exuberance. A positive overdose of woods, woody notes and synthetic wood constructions (Wood gone mad).

Madagascan Pepper, Bergamot, Somalian Incense, Nutmeg, Cristalon, Cashmeran, Gaïac wood, Cedarwood, Carvi graines, Javanol, Sandalwood, Vetiver, Oud (Agarwood)

I smell like a tree but I'm a slave to Comme.

[Urinal Cake]

Perfume's really about the bottle innit?


Looks obnoxious, worn by obnoxious cunts- smells quite nice.

[biggytitbo]

People who wear lots of perfume/aftershave provide a vital social function - they provide a good signal so I know never to have anything to do with them because they are emotionally, intellectually or spiritually stupid.  Ditto people with tattoos.

[Ray Travez]

(Wood gone mad).

barking?

I really want to smell that now. I've been wearing JPG for years, but a change might be good. I'm interested in the 'obnoxious cunts' who wear JPG though. What vile social grouping have I inadvertently joined?

[Sivead]

I kinda like the Nicki Minaj one, reminds me of when Michael Jackson goes all Transformers Turbo Teen in Moonwalker.

[Urinal Cake]

 

barking?

I really want to smell that now. I've been wearing JPG for years, but a change might be good. I'm interested in the 'obnoxious cunts' who wear JPG though. What vile social grouping have I inadvertently joined?

Wannabe yuppie cunts.

[The Plunger]

Heaven forbid anyone would want to smell nice and attractive to the opposite sex.

[Pijlstaart]

barking?

I really want to smell that now. I've been wearing JPG for years, but a change might be good. I'm interested in the 'obnoxious cunts' who wear JPG though. What vile social grouping have I inadvertently joined?

How come JPG is sold in a tin can if it is meant to be fancy? The only fancy thing I've ever bought in a can is ravioli, most of the time it's just beans and moonshine. My brother wears old spice deodorant so he can smell like a real man too. Too much price, and the smell is subtle, if I pay big money for something I want it to be strong.

I've got Morrisons pure linen air freshener, and I spray my bed down when I get up and I spray the inside of my shirt and the top bit of my hair too. I've got tooth floss and paste too, so I think I'm becoming one of those regular dandy men you see who pose with flowers so the women clap at them. Nothing pricey, though, because smells are easy to make. The soy I've been fermenting is pretty strong when I get back from work, and that's free. Flowers are free too, as are summer breezes and all this other shizzle that women spread on themselves, but they pay loads more because they think doing so adds value to the smell.

[Danger Man]

Heaven forbid anyone would want to smell nice and attractive to the opposite sex.

Comme perfumes make you attractive to female architects and suicidal postgrads.

[Urinal Cake]

I think JPG is going after another market as well


Also a tin is much fancier than a cardboard box.

[biggytitbo]

Heaven forbid anyone would want to smell nice and attractive to the opposite sex.

You probably smell better without the guff of fake stench.

[Sivead]

http://www.demeterfragrance.com/

Cor, clean skin and eggnog.

[Danger Man]

I really want to smell that now.

JPG is Eau du toilette. Comme is Eau de Parfum.

Are you man enough to step up a league and join the big boys?

[MuteBanana]

What is the point of aftershave and perfume? They all smell revolting. Natural musk is much better, thats my excuse anyway and I'm stuck with it.

Yep. Or just a nice smelling shower gel that lingers. Molton Brown's Black Pepper is a favourite of mine.

[Danger Man]

Tom Ford for Men can't cure baldness or phimosis but it would probably reduce the bachelor count by 50% if people on this forum started using it.

[Buelligan]

Dear god that Mingesty's a real thing.

[biggytitbo]

I use Henry Ford for Men, smells like a mix of engine oil and anti semitism.

[Danger Man]

My first aftershave was Gerald Ford for Men but all that happened was I kept falling over.

[Too Many Cochranes]

Nowt wrong with JPG original. Still smells lovely and much better than the modern Le Beau Male or whatever it's called. I've never seen it as a wannabe yuppie thing.

I generally don't like anything that either smells too soapy or too alcoholic, which is ironic. Gotta be somewhere in between, but with a bit of fruitiness too.

I also like Ultraviolet, which is just on the right side of "too alcoholic". I've no idea if it's still trendy though.

[Morrison Lard]

<--- A proper mister's scent.

[Buelligan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5tLfiu7an4

Yep. Or just a nice smelling shower gel that lingers. Molton Brown's Black Pepper is a favourite of mine.

You are utterly correct.  I particularly love their Orange and Bergamot, though I never buy it because it's too expensive.  Best bottled smell of all for me though is Acqua Di Parma Colonia, for a man or a woman, I just want to sniff it and sniff it.

[Ray Travez]

JPG is Eau du toilette. Comme is Eau de Parfum.

Are you man enough to step up a league and join the big boys?

I'm sufficiently interested to see if I can get a sample from them, or instore. It sounds very different to the JPG which I think has a lot of high notes. It smelt quite metallic to me at first and I didn't like it, but then I got used to it, and it smells floral to me now. The Comme des Garcons intrigues me because it sounds much more rich, earthy...

[Danger Man]

I'm sufficiently interested to see if I can get a sample from them, or instore.

It was designed by Antoine Lie, who makes loads of scents.

http://www.nstperfume.com/perfumers-l-to-s/antoine-lie/

[poo]

Just invested in some beard oil. Smells like armpits.

[Urinal Cake]

I like the scent. I own an old bottle of JPG and still use it (just not as much as I used to) but probably won't replace it. Apparently they changed the formula as well.

[biggytitbo]

I wear Harrison Ford for Men. Smells like wood.