Author Topic: black mirror is bad  (Read 6265 times)

chand

  • "like Louise Mensch but with a sexy beard"
    • https://twitter.com/RopesToInfinity
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #60 on: December 18, 2014, 09:56:33 AM »
A major terrorist attack hits New York on the anniversary of 9/11, but there is no video footage of it because everyone in New York is taking 'selfies' of themselves watching it, or filming their own faces for vlogs about it. Cut to the news, and the news anchor can't say the news because he's just holding a phone up to a mirror trying take a selfie. The final scene sees terrorists overpowering the President in the Oval Office, as the President holds two phones; one to take a selfie, and one to take a picture of himself taking the selfie. The episode ends with a lingering slow pull-back shot revealing a selfie posted on Instagram by the President with a machete across his throat, with the caption "Getting beheaded lol #nomoreyears #selfie #mydeath #godblessamerica #nofilter". Selfies are bad, yeah? Look up, turn your phone off.

Beagle 2

  • Silver Member
  • ****
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #61 on: December 18, 2014, 10:16:19 AM »
Anonymous hack into Linked In and make everybody's CV lame by adding to their interests "music, film & sport"

Jamie Oliver is fat

  • Speckled like a leopard
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #62 on: December 18, 2014, 10:34:30 AM »
Glitter and Huntley roam freely, sexing children in the open, but getting away with it because they're passing their penises through the re-animated corpse of Jimmy Saville, using him as a "VPN tunnel" and thus escaping prosecution

Blumf

  • Not long now
    • IGNORE ME!!!
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #63 on: December 18, 2014, 10:53:00 AM »
It's a world where MySpace is still popular.

Also the Home Secretary has to fuck a Tapir.

Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #64 on: December 18, 2014, 10:59:27 AM »
Perma-sulking man with a face like a slightly airbrushed Mark E. Smith (Surly Fucker)writes acerbic columns about things like the whole of humanity is ,basically, a cunt, but then marries boy faced, bounteous-bosomed former children's telly person (Bonnie Suck,former presenter of "Yellow Peril" ). Then writes columns about how running is interesting and babies aren't that bad, they're definitely not cunts, anyway. Every year he must fuck a pig write a column saying how the John Lewis penguin is a cunt, just so people don't give up on him. Technology is involved (he writes on a computer, not a typewriter, summat like that).

Kelvin

  • The best bits of a pantomime horse
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • With skin the colour of a freshly peeled apple
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #65 on: December 18, 2014, 01:06:22 PM »
A woman goes on the run after giving birth to an Apple iBook.

up_the_hampipe

  • Crowd appeaser
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #66 on: December 18, 2014, 01:19:07 PM »
Charlie Brooker sits on his sofa screaming at his TV, but suddenly he's on TV, on all the panel shows, the award shows. Before he knows it, he's got a trendy haircut and a Blue Peter wife.

Haunting.

Blumf

  • Not long now
    • IGNORE ME!!!
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #67 on: December 18, 2014, 01:29:48 PM »
A strange parallel/future world where technology works flawlessly all the time, only it's misuse by humans causes an issue.

Also, the director of social housing in the local council has to fuck a capybara.

PAGATRON

  • The undisputed heavyweight thread killer
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Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #68 on: December 18, 2014, 02:58:57 PM »
Present day, everyone around the world drops to the floor unconsciously, five minutes later they reawaken but can't see anything at first.
The next thing they do see is some weird words appearing, then 1 minute later a windows 98 start up screen.

Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #69 on: December 18, 2014, 05:52:51 PM »
I don't know dude. There was a lot of 'this tell us about our over reliance on technology' commentary and even Stew Lee said something along the lines of, 'the characters in Black Mirror are like out of tv tropes- not that's a criticism of Brooker'. I got the feeling it was Brooker's 'moment'.

Where did Stewart Lee talk about Black Mirror?

Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #70 on: December 18, 2014, 06:54:02 PM »
Nice to see a couple of people defending Charles. If you do like him you should check out my fan fiction.

alcoholic messiah

  • FAMOUS GOODBYE KING
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #71 on: December 18, 2014, 06:58:46 PM »
It turns out that internet trolls are just aliens trying to make first contact.

As a direct consequence of this unfortunate cultural misunderstanding, Earth's connection to the galactic internet is severely throttled during peak times.


Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #72 on: December 18, 2014, 09:05:41 PM »
Where did Stewart Lee talk about Black Mirror?
I can't remember- I don't think it was RHLSTP though. iiirc he only brought it up to contrast it with the character development of some better, underrated show that was presumably cancelled.

thecuriousorange

  • WELCOME THRILLHOU
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #73 on: December 19, 2014, 12:51:10 AM »
The British Prime Minister gets a Kindle for Christmas from the US President and he selects the option to delete all the free "e-books" that come loaded onto it. Nice present he thinks BUT two of them were the "e-book" Quran and Bible. Soon social media is abuzz with everyone aghast at how a world leader carried out a 21st century book-burning equivalent on the belief systems of nearly blimming everyone. The Christian-controlled US declares war against the UK as do many Middle Eastern countries. All of this has happened on Christmas day. BUT the British Prime minister wakes up in his bed and it was all a dream. He has awoke on Christmas morning, happy to be with his family. They unwrap presents BUT one of his is a Kindle!

alcoholic messiah

  • FAMOUS GOODBYE KING
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #74 on: December 19, 2014, 01:45:36 AM »
Boffins invent a time travel device, but for every day that you go backwards or forwards, it gives you the shits for a week.

Within a decade, the Earth is a stinking desert wasteland devoid of all life, and the only surviving evidence that sentient beings once dwelt there is a massive gold statue on a remote Pacific island. It is in the likeness of the Andrex puppy.


Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #75 on: December 19, 2014, 02:28:59 AM »
It turns out that the universe as we know it is a computer game played by god, but he's just rubbish at it.

BritishHobo

  • That is a really reductive impression
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #76 on: December 22, 2014, 03:49:32 AM »
When I was 12 and used MSN Messenger all the time, I had this idea for an add-on that would monitor your conversations for a while, and then set up its own mirror MSN with fake versions of your friends to converse with. So you could just fuck about and test reactions different people would give you to different things. Tell them you love them, or insult them, see what happens. Anything you could think of that would maybe fuck up your actual friendship, you could try out for a laugh.

Anyway, in my mind, some guy installs and uses this program, and he gets used to using it to fuck about with, so it becomes part of his everyday routing, and then one day he comes home all furious because of something that happened in his day, so he goes onto the program and starts blowing off steam by yelling at all his fake-friends and saying all horrible things to them like that they're crap or that he hates them EXCEPT OH NO ACTUALLY HE ACCIDENTALLY HAD LOGGED ONTO JUST NORMAL MSN

If (sorry, When) Charlie Brooker would like to utilise this idea in the third series of Black Mirror, he can feel free to pay me my royalties in the form of Kinder chocolate bars, but the ones that come in 16-packs. Cheers mate.

Hangthebuggers

  • Coulda, woulda, shoulda
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #77 on: December 22, 2014, 09:45:24 AM »
Someone travels back in time to punch his past self in the chin. His future self must stop his slightly less futuristic self from traveling back in time and punching him in the chin, by punching him in the chin.

Mark Steels Stockbroker

  • Lost in the former West
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #78 on: December 22, 2014, 11:22:17 AM »
THE WESTMINSTER BUBBLE

Britain is ruled by a giant bubble at Westminster. When everyone rebels it floats up above the country and fires on the masses with its DeathStar-style laser guns.

Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #79 on: December 22, 2014, 11:24:33 AM »
When I was 12 and used MSN Messenger all the time, I had this idea for an add-on that would monitor your conversations for a while, and then set up its own mirror MSN with fake versions of your friends to converse with. So you could just fuck about and test reactions different people would give you to different things. Tell them you love them, or insult them, see what happens. Anything you could think of that would maybe fuck up your actual friendship, you could try out for a laugh.

Anyway, in my mind, some guy installs and uses this program, and he gets used to using it to fuck about with, so it becomes part of his everyday routing, and then one day he comes home all furious because of something that happened in his day, so he goes onto the program and starts blowing off steam by yelling at all his fake-friends and saying all horrible things to them like that they're crap or that he hates them EXCEPT OH NO ACTUALLY HE ACCIDENTALLY HAD LOGGED ONTO JUST NORMAL MSN

If (sorry, When) Charlie Brooker would like to utilise this idea in the third series of Black Mirror, he can feel free to pay me my royalties in the form of Kinder chocolate bars, but the ones that come in 16-packs. Cheers mate.

Isn't the first half of that in the second season of Black Mirror? With the lady who's boyfriend's personality is made up of his old conversations on the internet and such?

billyandthecloneasaurus

  • LIVING ROOMS, bedrooms, dinettes, OH yeah!
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #80 on: December 22, 2014, 12:03:16 PM »
Kittens on top form here.

billtheburger

  • No-one’s ‘just friends’ with a bellydancer!
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #81 on: December 22, 2014, 12:42:15 PM »
A bald, phimosis suffer discovers his sex-bot is mocking his length and girth to all the other sex-bots which is why everyone is giving him "the dodgy, smirking look"[nb]because everyone else is a sex-bot"[/nb]

BritishHobo

  • That is a really reductive impression
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #82 on: December 22, 2014, 12:42:27 PM »
Isn't the first half of that in the second season of Black Mirror? With the lady who's boyfriend's personality is made up of his old conversations on the internet and such?

Shit, it is and all.

Right Brooker, you and I need to have words, please. I'm bloody fuming right now.

batwings

  • Timewaster seeks same. No timewasters please.
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #83 on: December 22, 2014, 01:27:06 PM »
UKIP voter buys a new mirror from future Argos,  the reflection of which shows a different race to the user. Starring James Nesbit and Idris Elba.

A bio-hacker makes all the birds angry.


Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #84 on: December 22, 2014, 09:44:29 PM »
A man finds a fridge at the bottom of a hill and lives in it for four days

burned crumpet

  • Sunday morning spooning session.
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #85 on: December 22, 2014, 10:30:22 PM »
A walking montage of 4chan that takes up the image of a man communicates in pictures that appear out his mouth by magic.

And hunt's down tumblr users.

Bhazor

  • Are you rolling your own jelly babies in there?
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #86 on: December 22, 2014, 10:45:26 PM »
3D printers are perfected to the point that it becomes possible to hug your child through the internet something something something satire on X Factor something something electric cock

alcoholic messiah

  • FAMOUS GOODBYE KING
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #87 on: December 22, 2014, 11:19:48 PM »
An independent analysis of LHC data suggests that the Higgs boson committed a string of sexual assaults in the 1970s, and high-ranking officials at CERN were aware of it.


Thomas

  • well they do all sixteen dances.
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #88 on: December 22, 2014, 11:20:41 PM »
A robot lion gets out.

Blumf

  • Not long now
    • IGNORE ME!!!
Re: black mirror is bad
« Reply #89 on: December 22, 2014, 11:43:09 PM »
A robot lion comes out.