Inessential shit from the backwaters of years old TV that you somehow still remember

[BlodwynPig]

It made perfect sense at the time. Stay away from that thing at the end

Spoiler alert

Argond's penis

[close]

[willpurry]

Micheala Strachan singing a song about a horse.

Cheryl Baker doing a workout in a gym and miming to the 'get ups' in James Brown's Sex Machine. The music was dubbed on later (and they probably edited it down a fair bit, seeing as it was a kids show).

During one multiple sport contest they kept showing some video of Sharron Davies pumping the iron.

[Replies From View]

Don't question adventure game, none of it made sense but we didn't care because it was the 80s.


Puzzles on BBC micros, backward talking men, Maggie Philbin and Johnny Ball in tracksuits - heaven.

I've seen a few episodes and feel like it all makes sense - it's eccentric and the puzzles take the players by surprise, but they normally have something to solve and it becomes clear, as they are playing, what they need to do.

I just can't understand the vortex, and wondered if I was missing something.  Are you saying I haven't missed anything and it is just as it appears in that video?  Or had it appeared in the programme enough by that point that the viewers knew more about it than needed to be shown here?

[Ron Maels Moustache]

A what seemed at the time absolutely terrifying advert for some kind of chocolate biscuit thing called "Cartoonies". Featured a series of supposedly normal characters being transformed into hideous googly-eyed freaks(a bit like Judge Doom at the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit) solely by contact with the aforementioned confection. The slogan, which has been permanently burned into my brain: "It's a biccy / choc-a-liccy / lots-a-loonies, cor! / CAR-TOONIES!" This only ever seemed to air on the "cheap import cartoons" slot on Channel 4 on Sunday morning, probably in between episodes of "Sharky and George" and "David The Gnome", possibly. I've been trying to find it online for bloody years with no success.

There was a quiz show on bbc years ago where the contestants used to play Hypersports on like a spectrum.. And maybe 720 the skateboard game too, can't remember due to brain.

"First Class" presented by Debbie Greenwood. I think Paperboy featured as well, and possibly Track and Field. I'm not quite sure what it was they were actually playing the games on, but it certainly wasn't a Speccy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z84rj6-glh4

[biggytitbo]

Well presumably there's paths you can take where it can't get you, so thats the (very small) skill. About on a par with a game of noughts and crosses.

[BlodwynPig]

"First Class" presented by Debbie Greenwood. I think Paperboy featured as well, and possibly Track and Field. I'm not quite sure what it was they were actually playing the games on, but it certainly wasn't a Speccy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z84rj6-glh4

That's a blast from the past.

[Fabian Thomsett]

Sarah Greene was doing a phone-in quiz once on Going Live and the young girl on the phone, having won, asked for an autograph. Green shut that shit down by saying "it's either the autograph or the prize. More than my job's worth, mate." (She may not have said the last bit).

Always seemed a bit dead behind the eyes, didn't she?

[BlodwynPig]

Sarah Greene was doing a phone-in quiz once on Going Live and the young girl on the phone, having won, asked for an autograph. Green shut that shit down by saying "it's either the autograph or the prize. More than my job's worth, mate." (She may not have said the last bit).

Always seemed a bit dead behind the eyes, didn't she?

The real Pipes?

[purlieu]

The fucking "jebedahhh!" disembodied voice in Watt On Earth.

:D
God I loved that programme.

I was going to suggest something else for people to tell me the name of, but then I found out it was The Girl From Tomorrow, which then got me onto researching various other sci-fi and fantasy serials at the 5.10 slot on CBBC. Elidor, Earthfasts and Aquilla I loved, and then of course Russell T Davies's Dark Season and Century Falls. Can anyone think of any more? I used to trudge through weeks of fucking Byker Grove just for something like this to turn up when the series had finished.

[Jerzy Bondov]

An American or Canadian drama about a boy with dyslexia. He has to read out a sentence beginning 'Did the boy...' at school but he sees it as 'dib the doy' and says that, so everybody laughs and the teacher incredulously exclaims 'DIB THE DOY?!'. Later the boy is struck and killed by a train.

[Chriddof]

thraxx on page 2 of this thread mentioned this:

Some bint in a nightshirt singing "ooooohh, demolition" in a collapsed house on a programme called razzamatazz or something.

I can't remember that exact thing, but I do remember Razzamatazz, and I think the "bint in a nightshirt" may have been Lisa Stansfield.

Cerys mentioned on page 1 an early 90s ad for an 1980s CD compilation, which featured a man on a television screen shouting "CITIZEN!". I happen to have a rip of this and have just uploaded it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYsy8cUOdjM

Re: the CITV cameras-off incident mentioned previously - there was a similar thing with a daytime programme around 1992, called TV Weekly. I didn't get to see this go out, as 1) I was at school at the time and 2) I was in the wrong ITV region to be able to see it anyway, but someone somewhere was recording it and years later put it on the internet. For some reason just in TVS-land the adverts finished a good minute or so early, and it cut back to the studio where Anne Diamond (the presenter of the show) and the guest, Brian Conley along with the "Larry The Loafer" puppet were just chatting amiably about stuff. The puppeter controlling Larry The Loafer was still in character, and was dicking about behind the big sofa Conley was sitting on. Anne said something about how it reminded her of working with the bloke who did Roland Rat. Then it cut to a long shot, a floor manager counted everyone in and the programme resumed as it should have done, and it seems that at no point did anyone realise anything had gone wrong.

Alright, now for my own memories... There was this show called "How Dare You!" on CITV at some point in the 80s. I can't remember exactly what it was about but the end credits would always feature an actual VT clock counting down alongside the credits, the theme tune was done by Five Star, and there was this really weird joke they did at the very end of the very last episode, which for the most part was a clip show. The presenters said their final goodbyes, and then pretended that the cameras were off, and started talking in weird pitchshifted-upwards voices, talking about how they were aliens, and then they walked in a funny way over towards some kind of bizarre tall structure, where they were going to hibernate or something. The credits rolled, and then afterwards it cut back to the studio with all the presenters apparently sleeping in this metallic structure, while we somehow heard one of the presenter's voices echo around the room: "For just a moment, I thought you were a human... ha ha ha!"

[Jockice]

Sarah Greene was doing a phone-in quiz once on Going Live and the young girl on the phone, having won, asked for an autograph. Green shut that shit down by saying "it's either the autograph or the prize. More than my job's worth, mate." (She may not have said the last bit).

Always seemed a bit dead behind the eyes, didn't she?

In my previous life as a journalist I once interviewed her. She wasn't actively unpleasant but there was something very unsettling about her. Not as snotty as Toyah though.

[Replies From View]

Well presumably there's paths you can take where it can't get you, so thats the (very small) skill. About on a par with a game of noughts and crosses.

But that's the weird thing - it doesn't seem to "get" the players at all.  It doesn't move into the space the players are occupying, and instead moves around near them until they walk into it - something that seemingly happens because they can't see it, not because of anything they can plan or work out.  I just can't see the puzzle element at all.

[BlodwynPig]

But that's the weird thing - it doesn't seem to "get" the players at all.  It doesn't move into the space the players are occupying, and instead moves around near them until they walk into it - something that seemingly happens because they can't see it, not because of anything they can plan or work out.  I just can't see the puzzle element at all.

Its the threat that is the entertainment

[willpurry]

Speaking of Toyah, "Dear Heart".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyA4JIS-WYQ

[non capisco]

"The smoker from the future" sticks in my ind, especially the bit about having an extra long index finger to tap ash - which seemed a little like overkill on evolutions part

http://youtu.be/sWfOLN9Z1yw

smaller ears, because they don't listen

He was good in Duran Duran's 'Wild Boys' video.

[biggytitbo]

But that's the weird thing - it doesn't seem to "get" the players at all.  It doesn't move into the space the players are occupying, and instead moves around near them until they walk into it - something that seemingly happens because they can't see it, not because of anything they can plan or work out.  I just can't see the puzzle element at all.

It did sometimes get them though. It was a very unpredictable alien pot plant,mthat was where the immense tension came from.

[Replies From View]

I feel like I'm definitely missing something because as it is the vortex game seems like a cross between Mornington Crescent and playing Pac-man whilst wearing a blindfold.  I'll have to watch more examples of it to get the understanding I'm after.

[Andy147]

I feel like I'm definitely missing something because as it is the vortex game seems like a cross between Mornington Crescent and playing Pac-man whilst wearing a blindfold.  I'll have to watch more examples of it to get the understanding I'm after.

"In spite of the Vortex being the most recognizable and memorable games in the series, the total lack of information for the human player made it a pure game of chance in the later seasons, when the Vortex has the first move and the players have to react to an "opponent" they can't see" says Wikipedia.

Also "Players would sometimes be permitted to buy Green cheese rolls or food with their leftover drognas, and this food could be thrown onto suspect squares to test for the presence of the Vortex".

[thecuriousorange]

What was the name of the British drama series about a wrestling organisation on Saturday evenings in the early/mid 90s? I think they kept their wrestling personae outside of the ring, but it wasn't a comedy. It must have been an absolute flop with only a few episodes made as I can find no mention of it online.

Other scant, half remembered details: In one episode a load of them recorded a rap single in a studio (this included some rhyming from hefty tag-team "the beefy boys" and additional bad rapping from someone in sunglasses who may have been the main character - I think his bit included the line "I'm a cool kinda guy as you'd expect").
There was also a scene where the villain got his henchman to put the championship belt on him while he stood in front of a mirror, possibly in a hotel. I also don't remember any actual wrestling.

I know I didn't imagine all of this, I'm not mental.

Anyone?

[Fabian Thomsett]

What was the name of the British drama series about a wrestling organisation on Saturday evenings in the early/mid 90s? I think they kept their wrestling personae outside of the ring, but it wasn't a comedy. It must have been an absolute flop with only a few episodes made as I can find no mention of it online.

Other scant, half remembered details: In one episode a load of them recorded a rap single in a studio (this included some rhyming from hefty tag-team "the beefy boys" and additional bad rapping from someone in sunglasses who may have been the main character - I think his bit included the line "I'm a cool kinda guy as you'd expect").
There was also a scene where the villain got his henchman to put the championship belt on him while he stood in front of a mirror, possibly in a hotel. I also don't remember any actual wrestling.

I know I didn't imagine all of this, I'm not mental.

Anyone?

Rumble http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0380949/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_12. Lasted a whole six episodes.

I was thinking of mentioning it myself. I was convinced I was the only one who remembered it.

[Natnar]

Some sort of one off Aussie kids drama thing shown on Ch 4 in the late 80's/early 90's about some kids who were trying to find out if a two headed monster/man that was a local legend was real. I remember the monster was two brothers who had been in a plane crash, one brother had to carry the other on his back cause he'd broken his legs or something and they had become stuck together like that.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

In my previous life as a journalist I once interviewed her. She wasn't actively unpleasant but there was something very unsettling about her. Not as snotty as Toyah though.

In my previous life as an entire rugby team, I fucked her. On a snooker table. Twice. And that's true, that is.

[Cerys]

Someone phoning into CBBC to ask Aswad "what do you think of twats?".

Anstis said that there is always one bad apple. But he has shitty pants soooo....

I remember that.  Good times.

Cerys mentioned on page 1 an early 90s ad for an 1980s CD compilation, which featured a man on a television screen shouting "CITIZEN!". I happen to have a rip of this and have just uploaded it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYsy8cUOdjM

Yay!  Thankyou!

Edit - I don't think that's the one that (whoever it was) was talking about, though.  I reckon the one they wanted was the one with apparent members of the public miming along - like a girl in a batwing sweater raising her arms to Vienna, and suchlike.  There was also Fade to Grey and Smalltown Boy.

[Gurke and Hare]

An American or Canadian drama about a boy with dyslexia. He has to read out a sentence beginning 'Did the boy...' at school but he sees it as 'dib the doy' and says that, so everybody laughs and the teacher incredulously exclaims 'DIB THE DOY?!'. Later the boy is struck and killed by a train.

Keep it light mate.

[chand]

A Saturday morning show where one of the features was kids ringing up and playing Magic Pockets on the Amiga, over the phone, by shouting instructions at the screen. Wikipedia tells me the show was called Motormouth, and I remember literally nothing about the show apart from that they played Magic Pockets. It seems utterly baffling now. That stayed with me though, partly because I eventually played Magic Pockets myself, and also because of that version of 'Doin' The Do' which used to get stuck in my head.

[biggytitbo]

There was another one, maybe 'Get Fresh' where they played Xenon 2: Megablast also, coincidently, by the Bitmap Brothers. I sense a bit of nepotism...

[BlodwynPig]

Motormouth featured Sonia and a sheep puppet. It wasn't that long ago was it?

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

1990, mate. A full quarter of a century ago. Last century. BT.[nb]Before Thomas[/nb]

[Replies From View]

Motormouth featured Sonia and a sheep puppet.

Nobby again?

Christ alive will he never fuck off.