Inessential shit from the backwaters of years old TV that you somehow still remember

[Mister Six]

A phone in competition on CBBC to win this Mighty Max toy.

I remember that cartoon being quite surprisingly good, with an equally surprisingly high body count. There was a gag in one episode in which the heroes were in a pitch black room, so one of them turned on a light switch only find the room full of monsters. "Woah - wrong switch!" he remarks, flicking it back off; he then flicks on another switch and the group find themselves in a completely different, much safer room.

Very silly magical-realist meta humour. Impressed the 11-year-old me. Uhm. Or it might have been in the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes cartoon.

Similarly, an episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in which one of the turtles complains about Shredder getting away. Michaelangelo: "Well duh, he does that at the end of every episode."

Blew my mind. BLEW IT!

[checkoutgirl]

I have a very strange memory of a kids TV show in the early 1990s. I think it was an Australian show and a load of kids are on the school bus. One of the girls pipes up with a song slagging someone off and she sang

"There was Eloise (pronounces eh-Louise) Eloise, spread-ing a disease, in the store".

That's the only memory I have of the show. It's funny how little tunes, no matter how short, get stuck in your head for decades and decades.

[Jockice]

Come Back Mrs Noah. Sitcom around 76/77 with Mollie Sugden on a spaceship. An idea that even as a pre-teen struck me as weird and without much comic potential.

Graham's Gang. BBC kids thing. Around the same period as Grange Hill. Particularly memorable because Graham looked a bit like my best mate at the time. Although Mick wasn't a gangleader.

Aubrey. A cartoon in the early 80s which nobody seems to remember. Despite having a great theme tune. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT-ITMGxc24

A children's ITV drama from around the same time featuring a bunch of yobs chanting: "We'll kill the cat, we'll squash it flat." I think they failed.

[Jockice]

And re Grange Hill fatalities. The kid who fell from the ledge didn't die. I think it was Justin Bennett, the posh kid who got picked on by Tucker Jenkins etc and tried to prove he wasn't chicken by climbing on a roof. There was a Greek kid (Anthony something) but he didn't fall off anything as far as I remember.

The kid in the swimming pool did die though. He was called Jeremy and was a relation of Zammo's mate Jonah who came to the school at the same time Jonah left and sort of replaced him as Zammo's best pal. He was a bit of a show off, so drowning serves him right.

[Norton Canes]

Which Grange Hill pupils were killed off?

First to meet the Grim Reaper was Antoni Karamonopolis in 1980, who plunged to his death from the roof of the shopping precinct. Jeremy Irvine met a watery end in the school pool in 1984, Danny Kendall died in 1989 from an unspecified brain illness, and in 2007 Baz Wainwright collapsed and died from a heart defect on the school football pitch. Perhaps the saddest Grange Hill death was Judi Jeffreys in 1999, falling from the window of a burning store cupboard; not least because actress Laura Sadler died in cruelly similar circumstances in 2003.

[checkoutgirl]

Come Back Mrs Noah. Sitcom around 76/77 with Mollie Sugden on a spaceship. An idea that even as a pre-teen struck me as weird and without much comic potential.

Mollie Sugden on a spaceship? Tell me this is a real programme that happened. Please tell me it's true.

[Replies From View]

Scenes from an episode of Top Cat in which Benny was in mourning or something, and singing "I Dream of Jeannie" except with lyrics about his mother - perhaps - having silvery hair.

An episode of Record Breakers showing extensive close-ups of a mural containing Scouse Mouse.

Heathcliffe and Marmaduke.  A Marmaduke section:  Some show and tell happens at the school and all the kids have brought in their pets and it's chaos.  A Heathcliffe section:  one of those generic mad scientist stories where one person's brain is swapped into another person's body and hilarity ensues.  In the end the mad scientist gets a craving for dog biscuits or something.

Gordon the Gopher wearing a T-shirt with "I'm with the idiot" written on it and an arrow pointing at Philip Schofield.

An ostrich running in slow motion to the Chariots of Fire music.

[Kane Jones]

Mollie Sugden On A Spaceship? Tell me this is a real programme that happened. Please tell me it's true.

Yeah.  Sequel to Snakes On A Plane.

[shiftwork2]

Hey hey hey it's the heatwave, excellent Martha & The Vandellas song appropriated by British Gas to sell fucking gas fires.  There was another one about cookers.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I can happily confirm the "Mollie Sugden In Space" scenario of Come Back Mrs Noah, that programme definitely existed. Also, for Aubrey, and I'm sure Jockice has fond memories of that one where Aubrey loses his hearing, and the soundtrack is completely silent for about two minutes or something. There were at least two seperate incidences of continuity announcers sounding/looking a bit puzzled , and making a cunt of themselves by saying "we're sorry for the temporary loss of sound, there." I distinctly remember the following day when the bespecatcled continuity announcer on Granada telly announced that day's Aubrey episode by saying "now for today's adventure with Aubrey-and this time I'm going to pay very close attention!" with a knowing glint in his eye.

Anyone remember that Public Information Fillum with Michael Palin alternating between "Blackmail" Presenter/ Arthur Putey mode talking about different ways to kill yourself, and pointing out the flaws of ill-thought out ways of doing yerself in, for example, killing yourself by lying on a railway line? Opting for a long-disused railway line, where you'll just have bored-looking cows stepping over you is not recommended. This leads to a surefire way of self-immolation, in the form of driving carelessly in rainy weather conditions. Of course, if you want to stay alive, this too is not recommended. For anybody. YouTube ain't helping me with this one. I'm pretty sure it exists though. Any of the other more mature members othe CAB Cabal remember this 'un?

[Norton Canes]

Something from the foggiest recesses of my childhood, so the early/mid 1970's - the BBC weather forecasters having to dodge around building materials mid-broadcast, because there were works going on in the studio.

IT HAPPENED I KNOW IT DID

[Jockice]

Which Grange Hill pupils were killed off?

First to meet the Grim Reaper was Antoni Karamonopolis in 1980, who plunged to his death from the roof of the shopping precinct. Jeremy Irvine met a watery end in the school pool in 1984, Danny Kendall died in 1989 from an unspecified brain illness, and in 2007 Baz Wainwright collapsed and died from a heart defect on the school football pitch. Perhaps the saddest Grange Hill death was Judi Jeffreys in 1999, falling from the window of a burning store cupboard; not least because actress Laura Sadler died in cruelly similar circumstances in 2003.

Danny Kendall! Legend!

[checkoutgirl]

Yeah.  Sequel to Snakes On A Plane.

[Howj Begg]

Would love to know if anyone saw this: CITV c. 1991, the camera stayed on the presenters instead of cutting to commercials. Scally the dog took his head off and chatted to the blonde presenter woman and the pop group who were in. I watched goggle-eyed for what seemed like aeons but was probably less than 2 minutes. Eventually they noticed and started panicking, and then video was cut. When they returned they tried to pretend nothing had happened, but they knew we knew.

[Fabian Thomsett]

Mollie Sugden on a spaceship? Tell me this is a real programme that happened. Please tell me it's true.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5gBl9-mipE

They don't make 'em like that anymore.

[Oops! Wrong Planet]

Anyone remember that Public Information Fillum with Michael Palin alternating between "Blackmail" Presenter/ Arthur Putey mode talking about different ways to kill yourself, and pointing out the flaws of ill-thought out ways of doing yerself in, for example, killing yourself by lying on a railway line? Opting for a long-disused railway line, where you'll just have bored-looking cows stepping over you is not recommended. This leads to a surefire way of self-immolation, in the form of driving carelessly in rainy weather conditions. Of course, if you want to stay alive, this too is not recommended. For anybody. YouTube ain't helping me with this one. I'm pretty sure it exists though. Any of the other more mature members othe CAB Cabal remmber this 'un?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWatgX_WaJY

[checkoutgirl]

Come Back Mrs Noah was not a success, with some regarding it as one of the worst British sitcoms ever made.

Right I'm absolutely intrigued now. I have to watch at least one episode. Come on youtube, gimme some of that sweet magic.

*rolls dice*

Success!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FibwNP5I2Qc

Lovely stuff.

[Guy]

Would love to know if anyone saw this: CITV c. 1991, the camera stayed on the presenters instead of cutting to commercials. Scally the dog took his head off and chatted to the blonde presenter woman and the pop group who were in. I watched goggle-eyed for what seemed like aeons but was probably less than 2 minutes. Eventually they noticed and started panicking, and then video was cut. When they returned they tried to pretend nothing had happened, but they knew we knew.

You didn't imagine this, I saw it too. I've got nothing to add though, the above was pretty much what happened.

Oh the sound was muted throughout, just a detail.

[Fabian Thomsett]

I remember Andy Crane being a guest on Motormouth several months before he became a presenter.

Does the tail wag the dog?

[thraxx]

Some bint in a nightshirt singing "ooooohh, demolition" in a collapsed house on a programme called razzamatazz or something.

[Replies From View]

A foam-headed sheep called Nobby that used to be a presenter on one of those continuity type shows called Ghost Train.  Nobby the Sheep used to make me feel queasy and sick.  Just looking at him created the stench of latex foam inside my skull.  Also I wanted to pick at his face and lever out great chunks.

[Replies From View]

A moment in Johnny Briggs where somebody's sculpture of a giraffe was ruined at school.  The moment stuck in my head with the claggy smell of play-doh attached for some reason.  God, why do all these memories smell so horrid?

[Uncle TechTip]

In the 80s CITV continuity was recorded, don't know if it was still the case in 1991. If it was it's a very strange thing to happen, maybe it was a gag?

The Jeremy Irvine death in ver Hill was originally written to be Jonah Jones, but he protested or something so the Irvine character was written in at very short notice. Jonah's cousin from Rodney Bennett, I think. Jonah left not long after - did that thing of just not turning up after summer holidays,which did actually happen in real life.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Muriel Gray presenting the quiz show 'The Golden Cagoule' on BBC Scotland in the early 90s.  The winner each week climbed some steps and got to put on the golden cagoule ('your heart will take flight/as it catches the light'). 

[doppelkorn]

Gilbert the alien used to make me feel sick because his fingers were open tubes.

Christ it's rank.

[checkoutgirl]

A foam-headed sheep called Nobby that used to be a presenter on one of those continuity type shows called Ghost Train.  Nobby the Sheep used to make me feel queasy and sick.  Just looking at him created the stench of latex foam inside my skull.

Was Nobby a Rotherham FC fan or have I just imagined that?

[checkoutgirl]

Gilbert the alien used to make me feel sick because his fingers were open tubes.

Christ it's rank.

Also he was covered in a clear jelly like substance which was supposed to represent his excessively snotty nose. Or did I imagine that?

[Replies From View]

A Thundercats episode where one of the male Underpants became addicted to what looked like spherical yellow sponges.

[Jockice]

There was a story going round my junior school in the mid 70s that during an episode of Magpie the camera scanned round  during an item featuring the two male presenters, only to catch Jenny Hanley leaning against a wall having a crafty fag. Never met anyone since who remembers it though so it may be a strictly St Margaret Mary's thing.

I preferred Susan Stranks anyway.

[thraxx]

The dreadful quality of the overdubbing in Tim Tyler - The Boy Who Lost His Laugh. 

The man who said 'Doog' in The Adventure Game.

What I used to call 'Frightenings' - Those really weird and disturbing Eastern European cartoons that they used to show on BBC2 inbetween programmes when there was a gap in the schedule.