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Ladies - Is your vagina looking tired and haggard?

Started by Alberon, January 22, 2015, 06:06:10 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Cerys

Quote from: chand on January 23, 2015, 01:01:38 PM
It's not a fucking facial if it doesn't involve a face. The only way you could call it that is if your vagina was also a face, which would be genuinely horrifying, and no amount of goddamn lotion is gonna make your nightmarish face-minge look appealing.

Exactly.  Also, I love you.

burned crumpet

Quote from: Nice Relaxing Poo on January 23, 2015, 12:57:32 PM
The Winona Ryder one looks like she's sat down naked on a giant piece of chewed up bubblegum and is now trying to extricate the results from her groin with both hands.

Winona's big brown beaver

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg. SFW

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Guy on January 23, 2015, 12:44:01 PM
Er, isn't the idea that that they are illustrations of different types of vagina, to which each has humourously been assigned a celebrity name (to give an idea of the aesthetics therein)?

I was thinking more on the lines of a version of Top Trumps.  Top Quims perhaps?

Cerys



Birdie

His maths is a bit suspect.  "364 days a year"?

Still my vagina is exhausted just from reading that.

Dex Sawash


Mr Eggs

Quote from: Alberon on January 22, 2015, 06:06:10 PM
Men, don't think you've got away with it. This lunatic is developing a penis-facial[nb]No. Not that sort.[/nb] as well.

Bollocks.

Birdie


Mr Eggs

I dip mine in a tooth mug full of Hydroflouric acid.
And then I boil them.

FOR JESUS.

thenoise

Porn has a lot to answer for. Scraggly bits are supposed to look a bit ugly, aren't they? Its part of the fun.

mook

Quote from: thenoise on January 24, 2015, 10:04:04 PM
Porn has a lot to answer for. Scraggly bits are supposed to look a bit ugly, aren't they? Its part of the fun.

they are not supposed to look like a blinking starfish though. that shit is all NOOOOOOOOOOOOOo!

Birdie

I'm going to set the iron to steam and have a go at flattening my flaps.

Buttress

See this is doubly offensive because it won't work - all those 'anti-aging' chemicals are really pretty ineffective and only 'work' insofar as they keep the skin covered and moist (which is preferable for smooth skin regrowth). Could just as well lather your vagoo in vaseline everyday and you might just see a bit of improvement. Awful times.

mook

Quote from: Buttress on January 25, 2015, 09:46:00 AM
See this is doubly offensive because it won't work - all those 'anti-aging' chemicals are really pretty ineffective and only 'work' insofar as they keep the skin covered and moist (which is preferable for smooth skin regrowth). Could just as well lather your vagoo in vaseline everyday and you might just see a bit of improvement. Awful times.

i'm sure i read a few years back that haemorrhoid creams and whatnot are good for getting rid of wrinkles from around saggy old eyes. so when the ol' girl is slapping prep h on her chalfonts she could slather a load over her tuppenny too. best do the hoohaa first then move onto the squeaker, reduce the risk of cross contamination and all that.

Alberon

BUMP

I told you it was insane. Turns out it was dangerous insanity.

QuoteGynaecologists are warning of the potential risks of vaginal steaming after it emerged a Canadian woman burned herself attempting one.

A case study, involving a 62-year-old, was published in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Canada.

The woman had been suffering from a prolapsed vagina and believed the treatment could help avoid surgery.

Vaginal steaming, which involves sitting over a hot water and herb mix, has seen a growth in popularity.

It and other treatments for intimate areas, including vulva facials, are now available at some salons and spas.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-49278279

Four years later and this gibberish is still going!

pancreas


touchingcloth

Whither Buelligan? Dewithering her vaginal withers with her steam treatment.

Birdie


Pinball

And now for the science bit- it doesn't work.

The only thing this perks up is the bank accounts of conwomen. I believe they are known as 'influencers' in modern parlance regarding twatter and friendface etc.


gilbertharding

Quote from: billtheburger on January 23, 2015, 01:07:29 PM
Fact;
If we take cosmetic enhancements out of the equation, you will discover that a woman with big facial lips and dark nipples will have big labia and if the nipples are pink and facial lips thin, she will have small labia.

Keep going... I'm nearly there.

sponk

Quote from: Alberon on August 08, 2019, 09:42:32 PM
BUMP

I told you it was insane. Turns out it was dangerous insanity.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-49278279

Four years later and this gibberish is still going!

I don't doubt that it is bollocks but one injury in four years doesn't seem particularly dangerous for a beauty treatment. How many people mangle their bits shaving every day for example?

H-O-W-L

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 22, 2015, 08:08:07 PM
Imagine a vagina that has experienced intercourse 2000 times. And then think of every single cock slam it has experienced. And then imagine how much it has been fingered or fisted. And then have a child. And then add another load of intercourses. And then another child. And some more fisting, and fingering. (Especially the fisting.)

Imagine what's left.

I doff my cap to anyone who's keeping a tidy court after that pounding.

Imagine an arse that has experienced shitting 2000 times...

gilbertharding

Reckon mine's well past ten times that, and it's still quite tidy, thank you very much.

H-O-W-L

Quote from: gilbertharding on August 09, 2019, 04:36:35 PM
Reckon mine's well past ten times that, and it's still quite tidy, thank you very much.

Mine's well past that and a bunch of medical fumbling and yet it's still plenty neat.