MS-DOS software library (FREE GAMES!)

[Hangthebuggers]

Budokan: The Martial Spirit.

You have to train up your fighting style, which consists of different stances and weapons (bo, nunchaku and bare handed)  by visiting the various dojo's. After a bit of farting round, I figured out how to switch stances and moving around, but couldn't figure out which button I could perform attacks with, it was okay though because I didn't have an opponent, just an empty sparring room. After a hopeless five minutes of this, I decided to try my hand at getting into an actual fight with an opponent. But they all just basically told me to fuck off and come back when I've trained up.

The music got on my nerves and I turned it off.

Next up: ANAL - The Rectum Adventure

https://archive.org/details/msdos_ANAL_-_The_Rectum_Adventure_2003

Who wants to review that?

[BPFHAY]

It wouldn't be fair to review my own work.

[biggytitbo]

That represents the real arse end of the games market.

[lazarou]

I like that they're one of those rare games that don't have a colon in the title, even when it actually could have used one.

[Replies From View]

Will one of you cunts review it or what?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

One quick question, as these games are in browser- does this mean any 'saves' are essentially dud as soon as you close the browser?

[Big Jack McBastard]

I'll bite.

Annoying music oh yes!

That was torture, it felt like it was having a memory leak as everything slowed to a crawl as it advanced. Turns out I didn't even need to do that as just leaving the Intro menu screen open turned it into a slideshow after a couple of mins.

Your ship goes 'Ew' when you fire and you might as well just do a sine wave of shots up and down the screen the whole time to deal with the fleet of wee green blobs coming at you. The way they exploded reminded me a creature in Dwarf Fortress bursting but I also turned it off before it became unplayable.

In a nutshell: Shite.

[biggytitbo]

One quick question, as these games are in browser- does this mean any 'saves' are essentially dud as soon as you close the browser?

I thought they might be able to enable save state using local storage but it doesn't look like they've implemented it (yet at least).

[BPFHAY]

Bit shit if they haven't, I might consider implementing it if I get some spare time.

My laptop isn't even vaguely fast enough for the emulator in-browser anyway.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yeah that's shit. Most games I'm interested in can't be done in one sitting.

Good job I've got Beeb Em, Dos Box and about 20 gig worth of 80s and 90s PC games. This is good for trialling stuff and downloads though, without a doubt.

[garbed_attic]

In a nutshell: Shite.

What game to play / review next, Big Jack?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Come on you old game bastard

[NoSleep]

https://archive.org/details/msdos_Universal_Military_Simulator_The_1993 This looks somewhere between fascinating and psychotic.

I had the AtariST version and played it against human opponents, which is probably the best way to use it.

The AI works well enough to play against in a casual game in one of the preset battles (in which, I think, the AI gets a little tweak in the right direction compared to a custom user game) and you can write your own scenarios. There was a follow up scenario disk that used the game engine (designed for epic ancient battles in the field in mind) to emulate guerilla warfare in the Vietnam jungle, even allowing you to call for air support (using the game engine's long range weapon support to the extreme; the air support being fixed units on the edge of the playing area).
There were also scenarios created by other users that you could find (I think mostly on floppies on the front of mags in those pre-internet days), including some wild ones like Godzilla vs Napoleon's army.

Trivia: UMS was written by Ezra Sidren, brother of keyboard player Ben Sidran of the Steve Miller Band (amongst his many other credits).

[Hangthebuggers]

Go on then, someone review this.

https://archive.org/details/msdos_Speedball_2_-_Brutal_Deluxe_1992

[Johnny Yesno]

Yes! Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders is on there. That's still a gap in my LucasArts gaming history. I had a knock-off copy for the Amiga but it had a bug which meant it couldn't be completed. Hopefully, this one will work. Cheers Cerys!

[Johnny Yesno]

I sometimes feel my relentless pursuit of old computer games (and my appetite for it never seems to wane) is actually a proxy for some deep seated emotional problem, my inability to leave the past or reconcile it. Or just my unwillingness to cope with or accept the present.

I will still spend an entire evening trying to pointlessly replay a spectrum game i watched my cousin play in 1983, or find an obscure megadrive game i rented from the video shop in 1991.

WHY?!??! Whats wrong with me? Why can't i leave this stupid old silicon behind?

I know I'm goin to struggle with this MSDOS shit for hours because I remember struggling with the MSDOS shit for hours back in 1999 and it somehow comforts me to do so again.


Sigh. I dont know why though.

I know! :-p

[biggytitbo]

I'm playing the FM Towns version in scummvm - the only version with 256 colour graphics! Even the pc version was only 16 colours.

[Steven]

Yes! Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders is on there. That's still a gap in my LucasArts gaming history. I had a knock-off copy for the Amiga but it had a bug which meant it couldn't be completed.

Was this around the face on Mars section? Think I might have had a similar knock off buggy copy, also the proper game came with a fake newspaper full of clues for the game so I don't know how I got so far without the damn thing.

[Johnny Yesno]

Ah, brilliant! They've got Stunt Track Racer. The graphics and sound are a little disappointing if your memory of this game is served by Stunt Car Racer on the Amiga, but the physics are still as gripping as they ever were. I really wish someone would do a Stunt Car Racer 2015 reboot. It would be great to play it online.

[Johnny Yesno]

Was this around the face on Mars section? Think I might have had a similar knock off buggy copy, also the proper game came with a fake newspaper full of clues for the game so I don't know how I got so far without the damn thing.

It was so long ago, I can't remember, tbh. I think it was pretty early on in the game, though. Ah, the newspaper. Of course. Bah! I shall have to have a look and see if anyone's put up any scans.

[lazarou]

Ah, brilliant! They've got Stunt Track Racer. The graphics and sound are a little disappointing if your memory of this game is served by Stunt Car Racer on the Amiga, but the physics are still as gripping as they ever were. I really wish someone would do a Stunt Car Racer 2015 reboot. It would be great to play it online.

There was a very blatant clone/spiritual sequel on ios a while ago, but I don't think it ever made it over to the big boy systems.

Edit: It was this one. I haven't played it personally, but they certainly got the look down fairly well.

[Johnny Yesno]

There was a very blatant clone/spiritual sequel on ios a while ago, but I don't think it ever made it over to the big boy systems.

Edit: It was this one. I haven't played it personally, but they certainly got the look down fairly well.

It looks nice. Wish I had an iPhone...

[biggytitbo]

The great thing about stunt track racer is despite its crude graphics unlike most games of its era the controls are incredibly tight and satisfying. Its still enjoyable to play today which you cant say about most of the msdos games in that collection.

[Big Jack McBastard]

Erk, soz lads didn't realise this was a 'play one suggest one' thing.

[garbed_attic]

That's alright - I'm going to play and review Speedball 2 in a few minutes since I used to own it as a kid.

[Morrison Lard]

I'm going to play and review Speedball 2

Castro Diaz did a bloody good job here-
http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,22925.msg1671163.html#msg1671163

[garbed_attic]

Sweet! Well I'm not going to better that, so someone can review that Girlfriend Simulator malarky instead.

I might still give Speedball 2 a whirl though. Fond memories.

[madhair60]

ICE CREEEAM

[Replies From View]

Dangerous Dave in the Haunted Mansion is a decent little platformer.

[biggytitbo]

That VW 1000 games thread is great.