The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!

[Glamorgan testicle ward]

I'm waiting for someone to make a vaporwave / mallsoft style album inspired by Benest of Millbrook's and Fineprice. You know, some slowed down shop musak with loads of reverb added and the captain's voice floating through, anything to evoke nostalgia for a supermarket I've never visited.

[canadagoose]

I'm waiting for someone to make a vaporwave / mallsoft style album inspired by Benest of Millbrook's and Fineprice. You know, some slowed down shop musak with loads of reverb added and the captain's voice floating through, anything to evoke nostalgia for a supermarket I've never visited.

Y E S

[Glamorgan testicle ward]

Y E S

ＬＩＴＡＲＷＡＶＥ　王っぜ

[Glamorgan testicle ward]

Has anyone posted this one?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OFUsXAgGZw

[kngen]

I can just imagine him reciting "Ozymandias."

This made me laugh a lot. Thank you.

[Glebe]

burgers?, they're chipsteaks!

Oh yeah, sorry. Please accept some streaky green by way of apology!

Superlative. This meme has tremendous protein value.

Thanks Glamorgan... I look forward to future posts with renewed vigour!

[Glebe]

[Glebe]

"Gone are the days when bacon was exclusive to breakfast!"

[Twed]

That one actually made me proud of Britain's butchering heritage. Really just loads of kinds of bacon, fair play to us.

[boki]

I'm waiting for someone to make a vaporwave / mallsoft style album inspired by Benest of Millbrook's and Fineprice. You know, some slowed down shop musak with loads of reverb added and the captain's voice floating through, anything to evoke nostalgia for a supermarket I've never visited.

Hmmm, could be the theme for Ha Ha Tape 5.

[Glamorgan testicle ward]

This is AMAZING.

[Glamorgan testicle ward]

Hmmm, could be the theme for Ha Ha Tape 5.

If my Audacity wasn't been such a crashy digital arsetard, i'd have started work on something earlier today...

[Glebe]

[mothman]

This made me laugh a lot. Thank you.

Feel free to share in the Guffaw thread, I hardly ever make it in there.

[pigamus]

He wrote like he talked! All the words are English, you can understand it, but at the same time it's like no language you've ever encountered.

Spoiler: a Morrison's and a M&S Simply Food. How the mighty, etc.

But it's still got the Captain's name on it! I wasn't expecting that.

[poodlefaker]

There appear to be flats above Fineprice - imagine living in such a bastion of convenience. What was the captain like as a londlord?

[Cuellar]

Relentless, I'd imagine.

[Cuellar]

"YOU WILL COME TO REGARD ME...AS A BENEVOLENT LANDLORD. PERHAPS ONE DAY, EVEN SEE ME AS A FRIEND"

[imitationleather]

Probably exercise drills in the car park every morning at 6am.

[the]

My favourite part of this interview with a CTV dubbing engineer _{(who I keep thinking should join Coldcut)} is where he does an impression of the Major directing traffic in the car park:

"You - there!"

[Alberon]

Just catching up on this finest of threads.



"Nostalgic memories of the occupation"

What?

[the]

"Nostalgic memories of the occupation"

What?

Occupied by the Nazis, under relentless supervision and to the highest specification

[boki]

What was the captain like as a londlord?

YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED HIM.

[Darles Chickens]

I suppose it must be possible to identify where the stores were/are? That quarter of Jersey is the one I'm least familiar with (because it's a bit shit, really).

Benest's of Millbrook (from the front):
https://www.google.es/maps/@49.198549,-2.1380266,3a,75y,171.93h,79.85t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sXVXwyN7JJrcUV2S_l8cjjA!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

and Fineprice, St Clement's coast road:
https://www.google.es/maps/@49.1691956,-2.084256,3a,75y,98.6h,102.2t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sfDU8P2b1xZYZ45WGZ7RFTQ!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

I spent far too long searching for them a couple of years ago, and was deeply disappointed to find that Fineprice had gone.

[Epic Bisto]

What was the captain like as a londlord?

NO PETS!!  NO DSS!!  ONLY A MODICUM OF NOISE PERMITTED!!

Actually, I'm sure he'd be a great landlord provided you pay on time.  You'd get a quality flat and he wouldn't cut corners.  H'd hire the best repairmen (TO THE HIGHEST SPECIFICATION!!  WITH SUPERLATIVE VALUE!!) and they'd better be good - imagine trying to change the light fittings while he stood there, looking you right in the eye.  You daren't fuck up with that level of INTENSE SUPERVISION!!!

[Darles Chickens]

RELENTLESS supervision.  It would definitely be relentless.

[Twed]

And just think of how quickly you could get a chipsteak if the fancy took you.

I can imagine a condition of the lease being that you had to man your window to defend attackers should the call arise.

[imitationleather]

Only having to go downstairs for mid-morning Special Brew would be a beautiful dream.

[Jasha]

Instant eviction the if he so much as saw a Co op or Le Riches carrier bag

[Epic Bisto]

Only having to go downstairs for mid-morning Special Brew would be a beautiful dream.

He'd probably let you go in via the back door past all the cages and onto the shop floor, avoiding the busy tills by simply tipping your pennies into the Major's outstretched hand (NEAR THE FROZEN FOOD BIN!!!).  It'd be like that scene from Goodfellas when Henry and Karen go into the club via the kitchen, but with a colonial twist.  You've gotta have your change at the ready lest the Major barks "HURRY UP BOY!  I'VE GOT A CAR PARK TO COMMANDEER!!!"