Author Topic: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!  (Read 11927 times)

Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #60 on: November 13, 2017, 09:06:19 AM »
Lovely little film from Channel TV archives about our beloved Major

https://twitter.com/ChannelArchive/status/929786399934447617

Fantastic.

monkfromhavana

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #61 on: November 13, 2017, 07:57:42 PM »
Great stuff. It'll be a sad day when they run out of adverts.

shiftwork2

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #62 on: November 13, 2017, 09:02:57 PM »
That was enjoyable.  Interesting to hear that the 'well-controlled' parking was marshalled by the old sausage himself.

Glebe

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #63 on: November 14, 2017, 05:45:33 AM »
Fantastic! I can assure you, that was the finest behind-the-scenes documentary I've ever witnessed! Tremendous protein value!

What's he saying at the start of the third one? It sounds like "Wiiiiiine, the great enemy!"

Pity really, I was enjoying imagining Captain Two Litarrrr's one-man campaign against the encroaching forces of the dreaded grape.

It's the way he turns the phrase "Flora Oil" into a bizarre, Lovecraftian slurring.

I don't think Special Brew will ever be so gloriously introduced ever again, he makes it actually sound special.

he's a military man, Marjorie, you wouldn't understand the things he's seen.

I don't know what I'd do without this forum, I really don't.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2017, 06:04:01 AM by Glebe »

Morrison Lard

  • the author of The Story of Magic
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #64 on: November 14, 2017, 08:12:27 PM »
Incredible.
Thanks very much for the update.

If anyone, like myself, wants to download this and watch it on the big screen with some Côte du Rhône, bottle, two pound nineteen-

http://twittervideodownloader.com/

and bang the url in there, and download the glorious 1280x720p mp4.

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #65 on: November 14, 2017, 09:11:49 PM »
We should do a Kickstarter to raise funds for the Benest ads to be fully restored and remastered in the only the finest 4K transfers. Tremendous.

Crabwalk

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #66 on: November 14, 2017, 09:56:38 PM »
This thread is the finest I have come across in many a year. 67p.

Uncle TechTip

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #67 on: November 14, 2017, 10:00:29 PM »
A thread of virtue, in the capable hands, of our young and vigorous, management team.

Golden E. Pump

  • Basically Morris Day.
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #68 on: November 14, 2017, 11:12:38 PM »
Isn't it weird how this forum can take something so obscure that I should never have crossed paths with in this fleeting journey called life, and turn it into something so magical?

If I told my real life friends that in my I watch 1980s adverts for a Supermarket on the Channel Islands they'd think I'd lost it. But it's them who suffer the loss.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2017, 11:23:18 PM by Golden E. Pump »

Dex Sawash

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #69 on: November 14, 2017, 11:47:19 PM »
The Benest's location with the food hall has a 3rd floor loading dock. In one of the ads, they are lifting stuff up there witb a scissor lift cart.



edit- it's a high lift fork truck, not a scissor lift
« Last Edit: November 15, 2017, 12:20:01 AM by Dex Sawash »

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #70 on: November 15, 2017, 01:42:46 AM »
the old sausage himself.

His great-grandchildren will carry on the proud tradition of excellence. Finest protein value!


Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #71 on: November 15, 2017, 07:49:35 AM »
This thread is the finest I have come across in many a year. 67p.

"Coaker-Colar, £1.79!"

I couldn't find the old thread

HERE IT IS!

Just a note here to say that I've uploaded all four of those adverts to Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=judBvJY6Hk8

Sadly, those four superlatives are no longer available!

And here's two more old 1970s Channel Islands ads. Features Bernie Clifton arsing about and doing a poor W.C. Fields impersonation on the voiceover, and a rather basic Butterkist popcorn ad. Note that the second one is in black and white as the Channel Islands didn't get colour telly until as late as 1976.

Classic Clifton (minus-Ostrich).

At 1:23, is he saying "Pricey ponces"?

I love rediscovering cracking stuff like this!

monkfromhavana

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #72 on: November 15, 2017, 01:32:23 PM »
The Benest's location with the food hall has a 3rd floor loading dock. In one of the ads, they are lifting stuff up there witb a scissor lift cart.



edit- it's a high lift fork truck, not a scissor lift

Buzby wouldn't have got that wrong <shakes head>

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #73 on: November 15, 2017, 03:35:50 PM »
The Channel Archive have come up trumps again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxcnJ9S0O4c

I have been applying myself with renewed vigour to the challenges of the new video

For me this is a winner from the moment the camera lingers for what seems like 10 minutes on someone ever so carefully parking their Mark 2 Ford Fiesta. We later learn that they are able to take their time because the shop is not about to close for lunch.

Twed

  • I need you so, Medieval Zone, you don't need me
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #74 on: November 15, 2017, 03:50:52 PM »
Whoa slow down there speed racer, they're reverse parking about as fast as possible with that busy crowd lollygagging behind them

kngen

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #75 on: November 17, 2017, 03:37:09 PM »
Lovely little film from Channel TV archives about our beloved Major

https://twitter.com/ChannelArchive/status/929786399934447617

Ah, that's wonderful. He used to direct traffic in the car park on busy Saturdays!! That's just made my bloody day!

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #76 on: November 17, 2017, 03:42:00 PM »
Interesting bit about the reverb unit. It makes sense, all voiceovers must have FX on them or else they would just sound flat. Learned something today thanks to that.

I would love to have seen a Charlie Hungerford - Major Benest stand off.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #77 on: November 17, 2017, 04:52:37 PM »
I can't get over the way he pronounces HIS OWN NAME.

The last syllable just sounds like he's pissed and can't be arsed to say "Bennett's" properly.

Bennezzxxf Millbrook. AnFineprice. Sunclemmunscowsrode. Bennezzzz ah fukit.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #78 on: November 17, 2017, 04:54:04 PM »
Whoa slow down there speed racer, they're reverse parking about as fast as possible with that busy crowd lollygagging behind them

I'm convinced also that the brown Rover 3-litre in a lot of the car park footage is the Major's personal transport.

Dusty Gozongas

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #79 on: November 17, 2017, 07:49:04 PM »

Glebe

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #80 on: November 18, 2017, 01:50:33 AM »
Interesting bit about the reverb unit. It makes sense, all voiceovers must have FX on them or else they would just sound flat. Learned something today thanks to that.

I'd love the see a VH1 Behind the Music on Cap T-L... "We worked for hours on the drumbeat of success!"

kngen

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #81 on: November 18, 2017, 08:43:50 AM »
I love the detail about the 'pack shots' - him just turning up with a shopping basket of individual items, and then fucking off back to the shop with them. Glorious.

Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #82 on: November 19, 2017, 03:03:08 PM »
I'm convinced also that the brown Rover 3-litaaaaar in a lot of the car park footage is the Major's personal transport.

FTFY.

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #83 on: November 20, 2017, 01:27:38 AM »
Let's do the pick of the quotes from each ad!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aop0MRTVhO4#t=1m26s

"Digest..."

"Coker-Colar, two-by-two litah, one pound seventy-nine!"

"Alsooo... Titan pilzin-nah, and Titan bit-tah, both at only 33 pence per 500 mil!"

Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #84 on: December 09, 2017, 12:47:42 PM »
Saw this:

https://twitter.com/channelarchive/status/939097912096718848

Hopefully not ones we’ve already seen!

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #85 on: December 09, 2017, 03:19:37 PM »
Saw this:

https://twitter.com/channelarchive/status/939097912096718848

Hopefully not ones we’ve already seen!

Karma, studpuppet! "Where economy prevails..."

Catalogue Trousers

  • With tremendous protein value
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #86 on: December 09, 2017, 05:30:40 PM »
YOWSAH

Chriddof

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #87 on: December 10, 2017, 03:13:15 PM »
Don't think this has been posted here yet - recently Channel Television uploaded a remastered version of the old Chipsteaks ad!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rS7H_DBbXfg

shiftwork2

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Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #88 on: December 10, 2017, 05:55:54 PM »
Don't think this has been posted here yet - recently Channel Television uploaded a remastered version of the old Chipsteaks ad!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rS7H_DBbXfg

I think this is the definitive Benest's of Millbrook (and FinePrice) ad.  Obviously the old stick appears in person, and there is a belter of a Benest-ism in 'tremendous protein value'.  Such a likeable insufferable pompous arsehole.

Greatly looking forward to these newly found ads.

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: The Return Of CAPTAIN TWO-LITAAAAAR!!!
« Reply #89 on: December 10, 2017, 06:07:11 PM »
Come on Criterion, let's have a fully-restored, 4K remaster of the complete TWO-LITAAARRR collection!