Author Topic: Tim Burton's Dumbo  (Read 2504 times)

Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #30 on: March 13, 2015, 05:47:41 PM »
PeTA are sticking their oar in now:

With PeTA calling for a welfare-friendly finale to Tim Burton’s elephant remake, what other family classics need a more realistic coda?

None of them, you stupid pointless meddling cunts.


I don't have that much of a problem with them changing the ending. It's not the 1940s anymore and people are wise to the fact that a circus isn't a good place for an elephant to be, doesn't make a lot of sense as a happy ending these days.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #31 on: March 13, 2015, 06:59:10 PM »
Dumbo is pretty bloody happy at the end of Dumbo. He's smiling!! I don't know what more they could possibly want.

Smiling is Elephant Language for edging towards death you IDIOT.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #32 on: March 14, 2015, 06:53:37 AM »
I'm frothing at the cunt mouth, in anticipation of Burty's Dumbo.  I have absolutely no doubt that the sights which await my eager peepers will be truly wondrous.  I quim in anticipation at the thought of seeing the CGI elephant in all its digital glory.  It's trunk will be the very definition of epic, quite surely.  I wonder how many polygons they'll use to render its trunk?  I hope that they use a lot of polygons.  More polygons = more artistic.  That's basic science, after all.

Dumbo likes peanuts.  The dirty slag.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2015, 07:07:47 AM by St_Eddie »

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #33 on: March 14, 2015, 07:18:21 AM »
I don't have an issue with this because I have no desire to see a cinematic version of Dumbo. We already have one.
But with Charlie and The Chocolate Factory and Alice In Wonderland, that was Burton missing an open goal from centimetres away. And not because he scuffed the kick.
No, he picked up the ball and ran out of the ground, rubbed it in dog crap and kicked it into a ditch. All before turning around to proudly say: "Ta-Daaa!"
In those cases, all he really needed to do was to put those books, those stories onto the screen using the best of today's technology with an element of his style.

St_Eddie

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #34 on: March 14, 2015, 07:34:14 AM »
Timmy gone done fucked up by tripping down the well and directing Alice in Wonderland!  Leave the cunt down there, I say.  Lassie go home, it's nay worth the bother.

To be fair, Ed Wood is fantastic and Edward Scissorhands deserves some love.  Oh, and Mars Attacks is pretty decent too.  Holy Christ-on-a-pogo-stick, how could I forget Beetlejuice?!  Oh, shit and Batman!  I love that flick!  Okay, so he's made some bona fide classics in the past but there's a clear distinction between old-school Burton and new-school Burty.  Love that guy and fuck that guy, respectively.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2015, 07:51:12 AM by St_Eddie »

kidsick5000

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #35 on: March 14, 2015, 08:32:22 PM »
Timmy gone done fucked up by tripping down the well and directing Alice in Wonderland!  Leave the cunt down there, I say.  Lassie go home, it's nay worth the bother.

To be fair, Ed Wood is fantastic and Edward Scissorhands deserves some love.  Oh, and Mars Attacks is pretty decent too.  Holy Christ-on-a-pogo-stick, how could I forget Beetlejuice?!  Oh, shit and Batman!  I love that flick!  Okay, so he's made some bona fide classics in the past but there's a clear distinction between old-school Burton and new-school Burty.  Love that guy and fuck that guy, respectively.

On original fare without a huge amount of expectations he can still surprise. Big Fish, Sweeny Todd.
His Batman films? They have their moments, but they are personality driven where you just have to point the camera at Nicholson/Walken/Devito/Pfffeifer. Every other moment has the look and feel of a rather well-staged school play

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #36 on: November 16, 2018, 11:15:42 AM »
The trailer for this is now out - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NiYVoqBt-8 - and it is of course horrible. Michael Keaton looks like he's having fun, but that's about the only thing I liked about it.

Also, "From the imagination of Tim Burton"? Fucking hell, they've got some cheek not crediting anyone behind the original. I know it's probably not Burton's fault and that he didn't have anything to do with the trailer, but I'm going to blame the cunt nonetheless.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #37 on: November 16, 2018, 11:49:02 AM »
I quite liked Tim Burton until he started doing sub-grade Bridge of Terabithia quality CGI trash. Alice in Wonderland is one of the most disappointing and ugly films I've seen. I know for certain that Dumbo will be like that. And that Miss Peregrines home for children was shit as well. No faith in Tim Burton at all.

For the love of Christ he needs to stop "reimagining" things that do not need reimagining. Did anybody watch the original Dumbo and think "nah its shit man needs more CGI"?

Oh wait Tim Burton did. Bellend.

Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #38 on: November 16, 2018, 11:56:59 AM »
not nearly enough Eva Green in that trailer

not selling it to me

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #39 on: November 16, 2018, 11:59:05 AM »
I quite liked Tim Burton until he started doing sub-grade Bridge of Terabithia quality CGI trash. Alice in Wonderland is one of the most disappointing and ugly films I've seen. I know for certain that Dumbo will be like that. And that Miss Peregrines home for children was shit as well. No faith in Tim Burton at all.

For the love of Christ he needs to stop "reimagining" things that do not need reimagining. Did anybody watch the original Dumbo and think "nah its shit man needs more CGI"?

Oh wait Tim Burton did. Bellend.

I used to love him in the 80s and 90s, Beetlejuice, Batman and Ed Wood are all films I adored at the time (and may well stand up to this day, I just haven't seen them in 20 odd years), which is why I'm so annoyed with him these days.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #40 on: November 16, 2018, 12:00:24 PM »
I quite liked Tim Burton until he started doing sub-grade Bridge of Terabithia quality CGI trash. Alice in Wonderland is one of the most disappointing and ugly films I've seen. I know for certain that Dumbo will be like that. And that Miss Peregrines home for children was shit as well. No faith in Tim Burton at all.

For the love of Christ he needs to stop "reimagining" things that do not need reimagining. Did anybody watch the original Dumbo and think "nah its shit man needs more CGI"?

Oh wait Tim Burton did. Bellend.

He's been shite since Mars Attacks but in his defence it probably wasn't his idea to remake Dumbo, it's just the latest in Disney's wheeze of remaking their cartoons with real people and that.

I used to hate live action films as a kid. Cartoons were miles better. Sometimes they'd fool you by having an animated intro, only to switch to boring live action.

They've got it arse backwards. They should be making ace cartoon versions of middling live action films like The Cat from Outer Space, not middling live action versions of ace cartoons.

Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #41 on: November 16, 2018, 12:07:19 PM »
Burton was my favourite director when I was a precocious 11 year old aspiring cinephile. My favourite stuff at the time was the Karloff/Lugosi Universal horrors and the Tim Burton stuff. It all fit together pretty well. I think much of Burton's pre-Planet of the Apes stuff still holds up.

Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #42 on: November 16, 2018, 12:09:14 PM »
The trailer didn't really build up any interest having watched the film. The film seemed to be a lot of a mocked, put-down young innocent elephant who lost it's mother and only with the help of a mouse managed to win its way round to impress others and find happiness.

The trailer I saw just made it seem like everyone though Dumbo was great; with no stakes or conflict at all.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #43 on: November 16, 2018, 12:14:34 PM »
I used to love him in the 80s and 90s, Beetlejuice, Batman and Ed Wood are all films I adored at the time (and may well stand up to this day, I just haven't seen them in 20 odd years), which is why I'm so annoyed with him these days.

Same, 80s and 90s Tim Burton was great. He doesn't have any new ideas

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #44 on: November 16, 2018, 12:31:47 PM »
Same, 80s and 90s Tim Burton was great. He doesn't have any new ideas

He seems to have had two new ideas for this film, not casting Johnny Depp and not casting Helena Bonham Carter.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #45 on: November 16, 2018, 12:32:40 PM »
He seems to have had two new ideas for this film, not casting Johnny Depp and not casting Helena Bonham Carter.

My mistake, carry on Tim lad

Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #46 on: November 16, 2018, 12:55:25 PM »
He's been shite since Mars Attacks but in his defence it probably wasn't his idea to remake Dumbo, it's just the latest in Disney's wheeze of remaking their cartoons with real people and that.

I used to hate live action films as a kid. Cartoons were miles better. Sometimes they'd fool you by having an animated intro, only to switch to boring live action.

They've got it arse backwards. They should be making ace cartoon versions of middling live action films like The Cat from Outer Space, not middling live action versions of ace cartoons.

God I hated it when a promising animation suddenly ended, only to reveal that the actual film was stupid, boring live-action.

Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #47 on: November 16, 2018, 01:48:36 PM »
The trub with Burton is he has a consistent brand which helps his stuff to sell but the quality varies wildly depending on which writer(s) he works with on each project.  He's thought of as an auteur but he doesn't have any kind of writing credit on the majority of his movies, especially the good ones, so his influence largely seems limited to the visual style & casting.

I always wondered why he didn't keep making original movies with the tone and inventiveness of Beetlejuice, but he didn't write the story or screenplay and his collaborations with either of its writers only continued through Batman & Nightmare Before Christmas, after which one of them passed away.  His later movies with Scott Alexander & Larry Karaszewski were great though.  And yet, here he is directing something written by the genius behind half of the Transformers series.

Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #48 on: November 16, 2018, 02:47:03 PM »
Frankenweenie (2012) was great. Though, that was based on an early short film so aye, maybe he's run out of ideas. Corpse Bride was fairly good too, no? I may give Big Eyes a watch then if it's actually pretty good.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #49 on: November 16, 2018, 02:53:48 PM »
Frankenweenie (2012) was great. Though, that was based on an early short film so aye, maybe he's run out of ideas. Corpse Bride was fairly good too, no? I may give Big Eyes a watch then if it's actually pretty good.

Actually yeah, Frankenweenie was great. I liked Sweeny Todd as well, to be fair. You get the impression that there are films he takes greater care over than others. He is talented but he takes the commercial dollar over artistic principles. With his sensibility, "Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland" could have been a classic adaptation, and probably would have been if he'd made it in the early part of his career (probably with Winona Ryder as Alice) instead of a horrible Americanised cartoon travesty.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #50 on: November 16, 2018, 03:55:10 PM »
Dumbo is pretty bloody happy at the end of Dumbo. He's smiling!! I don't know what more they could possibly want.

One must imagine Dumbo happy.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #51 on: November 16, 2018, 04:05:38 PM »
not casting Johnny Depp

I bet that's literally only because Depp was otherwise engaged with the Harry Potter sequel/prequel/sidequel/sameuniversequel/whatever the cunt it is.

...that and beating up or not beating up Amber Heard.

It's amazing, though, they seemed like such a great team what with Ed Wood, Edward Scissorhands and, to a degree, Sleepy Hollow.  But now the mere mention of both their names, separately or together, just causes retching and rectal twitching.

Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #52 on: November 16, 2018, 04:09:14 PM »
I may give Big Eyes a watch then if it's actually pretty good.

I really like it and think it's the best thing he's done since Ed Wood, but it's also his least-quirky, least fantastical film so I think anyone watching it expecting a return to 'classic' Tim Burton form might walk away disappointed.  Amy Adams and Christoph Waltz are both excellent in it.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #53 on: November 16, 2018, 04:43:30 PM »
He's been shite since Mars Attacks but in his defence it probably wasn't his idea to remake Dumbo, it's just the latest in Disney's wheeze of remaking their cartoons with real people and that.

He could have said no. And given how much he must be worth (a brief search suggests between $110 million and $140 million) and his bankability he could make whatever he liked if he wished. Plus he used to hang out with David Cameron so he's definitely a cunt in my books.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #54 on: November 16, 2018, 07:09:50 PM »
Didn’t know the Uncanny Valley applied to elephants as well.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #55 on: November 17, 2018, 12:22:06 AM »
Didn’t know the Uncanny Valley applied to elephants as well.

Or motionless trains.

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #56 on: November 17, 2018, 08:20:00 AM »
The sad thing is it'll be hugely successful and make fucktons of money

So he'll get to do another creative abortion like this, and make more fucktons of money

Hold on to Beetlejuice. Remember Edward Scissorhands. Put on Mars Attacks and enjoy the Tom Jones bit.

Don't remember him this way

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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #57 on: November 17, 2018, 09:56:59 AM »
God I hated it when a promising animation suddenly ended, only to reveal that the actual film was stupid, boring live-action.

Me too!

Thanks for helping me feel less lonely in this world, lads.

Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #58 on: November 17, 2018, 10:34:45 PM »
I’ve never seen the original Dumbo and Edward Scissorhands remains the only film I’ve walked out of the cinema during, I was 8/9 years old and around the same time I sat through Only The Lonely, Regarding Henry and Soapdish so I must have hated it. Never been keen on Burton generally.

That being said, I might go to see this. It can’t be worse than I imagine it being and I haven’t got a packed social calendar. They should use that on the poster, it’s got more gravitas than ‘Genuinely Amazing’ from Take A Break anyway.


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Re: Tim Burton's Dumbo
« Reply #59 on: November 17, 2018, 11:02:43 PM »
Only The Lonely, Regarding Henry and Soapdish

I will henceforth be referring to this as one film at every opportunity.