Poll

You walk up to the, uh, young woman of colour. She is enjoying the music of E-40 and other various chart rappers on an mp3 player. Upon seeing you she's all like: "Whatchu whant?" in charming broken English common to this part of town. You Reply

"Give me my mp3 player back"
4 (10%)
"let's go on a date, we can get fizzy drinks after"
7 (17.5%)
"let me tap dat my fine queen of sheeba ass pinzses"
6 (15%)
"i would like to purchase barbiturates to use on a hot white bitch later this week"
5 (12.5%)
Compliment her on how much cotton KEEP READING percentage makes up her hoodie, as it clearly indicates that she is environmentally aware enough to chose clothing that can be washed at 30C.
3 (7.5%)
what are options for level 7 confidence? can we do whatever we want?
0 (0%)
"What's your favourite easy stereotype?"
2 (5%)
"I want unlimited boys to rape"
3 (7.5%)
"F.W. de Klerk, MC Hammer, J.R. Hartley and other classic verbwhores poll memes."
6 (15%)
"HAHA RAPE"
4 (10%)

Total Members Voted: 40

Author Topic: Peter's Mad Thoughts  (Read 90671 times)

Dr Syntax Head

  • Empty alcohol
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts
« Reply #1110 on: March 16, 2018, 05:31:05 PM »
Squeeze cat to death
It’s so soft why not

Plastic bag over a dog's head. The look in his doeful and loving eyes. "Why are you doing this? I love you" the dog is thinking

Edit. I don't like my mind right now.

Twed

  • What, prick? That's my child. My Johnson's child
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts
« Reply #1111 on: March 16, 2018, 05:36:08 PM »
Sometimes when I'm being asked to hold a baby or something the urge strikes me to exclaim "thanks, I promise I won't fuck it!" and then labour the point with "I said I won't fuck it, what's your problem with that?" when challenged. I think it's mainly because I don't want to hold people's stupid babies and fantasize about constructing reasons to never be asked to.

Dr Syntax Head

  • Empty alcohol
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts
« Reply #1112 on: March 16, 2018, 05:38:02 PM »
Sometimes when I'm being asked to hold a baby or something the urge strikes me to exclaim "thanks, I promise I won't fuck it!" and then labour the point with "I said I won't fuck it, what's your problem with that?" when challenged. I think it's mainly because I don't want to hold people's stupid babies and fantasize about constructing reasons to never be asked to.

Laughing hard.

I hate my mind right now.

icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts
« Reply #1113 on: March 16, 2018, 05:38:44 PM »
Really? Surely so, so many people use hotels for affairs, shooting pornography and general sex stuff. The staff know the score.

Yeah, and apart from anything else it's none of their business. I know they probably have to ask if your stay is for business or pleasure or, er, both but that doesn't mean they can be nosy. Should have told her the smell of rotting bodies at your place was just getting too much.

Dr Syntax Head

  • Empty alcohol
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts
« Reply #1114 on: March 16, 2018, 05:41:10 PM »
If I was booking a hotel room for a threesome I'd proclaim it proudly on check in. I'd even invite the check in attendant. For a laugh.

Gregory Torso

  • blood-spattered blossom
Re: Peter's Mad Thoughts
« Reply #1115 on: March 17, 2018, 04:01:34 AM »
It must a common thing right, to think totally inappropriate and immature things in very serious situations.

Like some bloke is talking to me importantly, maybe he's a supervisor or a neighbour saying something about student retention or building security and all I want to do is laugh in his face because all I am thinking is: he has a penis, in his trousers. A willy. Ha ha. I can't believe this is allowed. How can he just stand here and talk to me without acknowledging the fact? And what if he asks me to show him my own private benjamin? He thinks he's so important.
And then he has stopped talking and it's my turn but my mind is just going "penis in trousers" and it's frowned on to just introduce that into a conversation without notice.