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March 29, 2024, 03:54:22 PM

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Peter's Mad Thoughts

Started by Purple Tentacle, September 27, 2004, 02:39:18 PM

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You walk up to the, uh, young woman of colour. She is enjoying the music of E-40 and other various chart rappers on an mp3 player. Upon seeing you she's all like: "Whatchu whant?" in charming broken English common to this part of town. You Reply

"Give me my mp3 player back"
4 (9.8%)
"let's go on a date, we can get fizzy drinks after"
7 (17.1%)
"let me tap dat my fine queen of sheeba ass pinzses"
6 (14.6%)
"i would like to purchase barbiturates to use on a hot white bitch later this week"
6 (14.6%)
Compliment her on how much cotton KEEP READING percentage makes up her hoodie, as it clearly indicates that she is environmentally aware enough to chose clothing that can be washed at 30C.
3 (7.3%)
what are options for level 7 confidence? can we do whatever we want?
0 (0%)
"What's your favourite easy stereotype?"
2 (4.9%)
"I want unlimited boys to rape"
3 (7.3%)
"F.W. de Klerk, MC Hammer, J.R. Hartley and other classic verbwhores poll memes."
6 (14.6%)
"HAHA RAPE"
4 (9.8%)
"Add a poll option in 23 years' time."
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 41

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: "Gazeuse"Last week I was seriously wondering if Tourettes syndrome could be developed in later life because I had a growing urge to shout, "BIG HAIRY COCK!!!" at the top of my voice.
For those of us who have met your quiet, mellow, civilised self, this really is quite...strange.  :-)

I was bloody reading in the fucking paper that sodding outbursts of cunting expletives are a sign of cock pissing dementia.  What do those twats fucking well know, eh?  Minge.

burpmitosis

I'm a bit worried myself now as I read that above as "BIG HAPPY COCK" and wondered why PT had misquoted it. Then I checked. hummmm.

Quote from: "Purple Tentacle"That would be marvellous, to just quietly rise from your chair, walk into another room, close the door behind you, shout "BIG HAIRY COCK!!" a couple of times, and come back and sit down like nothing had happened.
For some reason that made me wonder what people would have thought of Captain Oates if when he said 'I am just going outside and may be some time' he didn't crawl into a blizzard to die, but to stand outside the tent swearing for a while, before going back in.

Jaffa The Cake

I had a horrible random thought a few days ago...

Someone in my department is going on maternity leave and I was given a card to sign for her. I had the overwhelming urge to write "DON'T HAVE A MISCARRIAGE!!!"

gazzyk1ns

Heh, that reminds me of the time someone on here said that when they were asked to sign a "condolences" card for someone at work who had suffered a miscarriage, they had the overwhelming urge to write "Why doesn't your cunt work properly?" on it.

slim

Quote from: "gazzyk1ns"Heh, that reminds me of the time someone on here said that when they were asked to sign a "condolences" card for someone at work who had suffered a miscarriage, they had the overwhelming urge to write "Why doesn't your cunt work properly?" on it.
Now where was that thread about laughing at things you shouldn't? I just prayed for my monitor.

thomasina

There was a leaving card and a condolence card going round my office at the same time and my friend wrote 'sorry to see you go' on the wrong card.  The woman passing it round thought he's had a Peter's mad thought, but he'd just fucked up.

VegaLA

YES !! I used to suffer from this quite a few years ago. I thought I was mental so kept quiet about it until my Brother mentioned it and I was relieved that I was'nt alone in this way of thinking. I have only read the first post so have left myself wide open to online attacks if I have'nt read anything sensible that might have followed. Now am I trying to harm myself or is it just plain laziness. Or is it due to the fact i'm trying to eat a BK burger whilst replying to this post ?
Anyway, not had too many of these thoughts recently but they creep back from time to time.... I have'nt had the urge to kill a team-mate on Halo 2 yet, so far so good....

Dr David V

To my knowledge this has only happened to me once. For absolutely no reason, I once told my maths teacher to "fuck off". He hadn't done anything to annoy me, I just had the compulsion to tell him to fuck off. I still have no idea how I managed to get away with it without punishment.

Ciarán2

I "own up" that it was I who brought up the OCD thing. But the kind of thoughts that people have been describing are consistent with those intrusive thoughts found in OCD sufferers. But I did make the point that the definition of OCD can be sketchy - there are large high number of people who experience these thoughts and don't carry out "rituals" to avoid them. Sometimes they are considered to be experiencing mild OCD symptoms. The "proper" OCD of washing hands and so on (well, I must point out that is a stereotype and the "rituals" can take all sorts of forms), that is said to affect about 2% of the population at some stage. I'm just pointing out what I think is an interesting glossing over of what is considered a potentially harmful anxiety disorder! i do feel similarly about superstitions - that they are a mass form of OCD. If avoiding walking under a ladder because "something bad might happen" isn't typical OCD thinking, then I don't know what is. And I have been a chronic OCD sufferer, as I pointed out before.

Some of these car crashing stories remind me of the scene between Christopher Walken and Woody Allen in Annie Hall.  Walken tells Allen about his desire when to cross the other side of the road when he sees approaching headlights when driving at night, causing an explosive crash.  Amusing cut to next scene which shows Walken driving a car with the camera panning across to a nervous looking Allen.

I play a bit of Sunday league football and have, on occasions, had to fight off an urge to do a two footed tackle from behind on the referee, sending him several feet into the air before crashing into the ground.  This urge has nothing to do with poor decisions made by the referee or anything like that as I have felt like doing it at the start of matches.  So far I've managed to resist it, probably helped by the almost certain knowledge that if I did it, I'd never play again/

Thegreatmouldingo

I often have the irresistable urges thing. It was a lot worse when I was younger. I would sometimes act on them. Still do if I've had enough to drink. I've rubbed pizza in my mates face for no reason, honked girls breasts (with sound effects) during conversations with them, climbed out of windows while still carrying on a conversation, thrown myself down stairs and other less amusing unprovoked actions. (not being particularly amusing given some of the bruises I gained)

I'm better now though, and can be taken out in public again. I've only read the first two pages of this thread so maybe its been said before but I think it may be related to a mixture of depression+boredom.

thomasina

You just sound like a Colin Hunt type to me.  Sorry for the uncharitableness, but the mad thoughts thing doesn't usually need any witnesses.  There may be other people involved, but that's not the poiint of the compulsive feeling.  Yours sound more attention seeking than anything else.

imitationleather

Hah.

I could never understand or be anyone who would honk a girl's breasts mid-conversation. Unless, of course, I'd been sent an invitation from the girl in question in duplicate and it had been photocopied in triplicate. Then watch my hands go!

Suttonpubcrawl

Quote from: "imitationleather"I could never understand or be anyone who would honk a girl's breasts mid-conversation.

That's why you'll never be a breast cancer specialist.

thomasina


butnut

Last night, while wondering throught the west end of London, one of those disgusting mobile burger/sausage/hot dog cooking people passed me and I had the thought "What if I just stuck my face into all that greasy fat and oil - what would they do?"

gazzyk1ns

Hehe I had a really dodgy one last week, I nearly bumped the thread. I was out for a walk and a toddler, with a family walking towards me, kind of bumped into my leg because he wasn't looking where he was going. Of course I laughed and carefully moved so he didn't bash his head or fall over, but for a moment I thought "He's tiny, if I kicked out really hard I could probably launch him over that hedge."

slim

That's similar to something I thought the other week that made me feel really guilty for days afterwards. I had my shins bashed by a pushchair thing in HMV by some ignorant fucking woman. Why they can't leave those things out... anyway, that's another thread.

So this thing hit me in the shins, this woman didn't even acknowledge my existence, let alone apologise and my brain thought, 'I bet if I kicked her kid right in the face she'd stop fucking hitting people with that thing.'

Then I thought about seeking psychiatric help. Then I realised that as long as I didn't actually do it, I'm probably ok :)

Jemble Fred

The most regular Baynham Thought for me is when I go into HMV (for instance) wiith the exact money for what I want to buy, and my mind suggests buying an exact copy of a DVD I already own, and then going home, putting the two DVDs side by side, and crying at the waste of money.

Purple Tentacle

Hehe, that's a great one Jemble.

Last night, having wiped my iPod due to fucky data, I stared at my "mp3 files" folder on my hard drive, all the music I've bought and aquired over the last 5 years, and realised that if I pressed "shift-delete", I would lose it all. Forever.

It would have been so quick, over so quickly.... so easy.....


I really must make backups to protect me from myself.

imitationleather

Where are the original copies? Down the Music Exchange?

MonkeyDrummer

Quote from: "PT"Last night, having wiped my iPod due to fucky data, I stared at my "mp3 files" folder on my hard drive, all the music I've bought and aquired over the last 5 years, and realised that if I pressed "shift-delete", I would lose it all. Forever.

you'd still be able to get it back providing you hadn't overwritten that particlar sector of the hard disk.

do it! it'll be fine

Rumpelwilskin

I get these obsessive/unwanted thoughts from time to time, too. It's like OCD without the "C" - just recently in psychology they have changed it so that you don't necessarily have to carry out compulsions on obsessive thoughts (ex. washing your hands repeatedly) to be a candidate for someone with OCD. That's in the States, anyway.

I had to be put on ripserdal.  I'm off it now thank fuck, but I had been plagued by obsessive thoughts all my life. I even read a really good book about it called White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts (title derived from an antidote about Tolstoy challenging his bro. to stand in a corner until he could stop of thinking of a white bear, thereby causing him to think of nothing else). The premise of the book is that if you accept the thoughts they will disappear, eventually. I don't necessarily buy that, I think it's a combination of that and med's. It's certainly worth a read, though.

Those "unwanted thoughts" are scary, a technique many people use is self-talk whereby you tell yourself you're not going to carry the actions out. I've had unwanted thoughts like driving into other vehicles, shouting out in class, thinking of doing improper shit to people. They're scary but you're not alone in having them, if they are really problematic don't hesitate in seeking out psychological care. It will help.

Goldentony

i had a great one of these about a week ago.

i was at a gig, at the zanzibar in lpool city center, upstairs with mr no offenc, and there was a guy dj'ing near by, all his decks and mixer etc set up on a rickety old table, with a projector and dvd player next to it set up on two chairs. my first thoughts on seeing it were, hey, i could run right up to it, jump off a chair and do a backflip onto him and all his dj shit, smashing fuck out of everything, it'd be fun and look great.

thankfully, i declined myself doing it.

brrrr.

Goldentony

looking back on it, im actually quite upset i didnt go thru with it cos id have taken all the gear and about 4 people with me in the landing.

ah well eh.

Bilko

I've several times had a Death Race 2000 type thought of turning the steering wheel of my car to the left and mowing down a few dozen pedestrians.

no_offenc

I always get the urge to kick small whining children over when they toddle in my way when I'm in town.  the little shits.

burpmitosis

Edit: removed because it makes me look like a one-man-mental.
Viva la stigma eh.

So there you go.
I had a Peter's Mad Thought about smashing the neighbours' window with a paving slab the other day.  I quite enjoyed that one.