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Artists who were naff and stayed naff

Started by ajsmith, June 15, 2015, 05:50:19 PM

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Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: ThickAndCreamy on June 16, 2015, 01:49:41 PM
Boney M, the naffest pop group in the history of the world.

Every time after I finish an episode of TOTP2 I thank the lord that I was not alive in an era where Boney M were topping the charts. They're a pop group for accountants, trudging along in wacky outfits, like a ladies night in a run down pub where everyone is dressed in pink tutus. They're the nadir of disco, a sonically dead bunch of naff gods who should be have been chucked in a skip a long time ago.

Here they are last year performing in between their stints at Pontins and Butlins nationwide, looking as naff as ever, and suitably accompanied by even naffer dancers;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXfdVsf_Lfo

To make things worse, they also inspired the naffest parody song ever recorded. A steaming, dribbling pile of naff so bad that just watching makes me want to join a punk band and start a forest fire.

Barron Knights - A Taste of Aggro.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBUyTn_wIhc

Christ yes. I have a friend who's obsessed with them, and every time she has a post pub gathering or party insists on playing whole albums, and certain tracks over and over again. I've grown to hate them with such a passion that I have to leave the room if they're played and skulk about in the kitchen until the horrendous sonic assault is over with.

Serge



Whilst looking for a gif of Bobby's dancing, I found a picture of him from 2005:



Christ.


checkoutgirl

Matchbox Twenty
Santana
Matchbox Twenty featuring Santana

Mr Banlon

Fucking hell Boney M. Not only were they naff, they were responsible for one of the naffest double-acts naffest jokes.
I was watching Little & Large as a kid. The shittier one was standing there with his fucking guitar when the fat one came out and said, "Hey Supersonic, guess who we've got on the show tonight ? BONEY M !"
He then pulled out a string of four bones that were in a 'M' shape.
White plastic comedy bones, not real bones. Even as a kid I thought that was poor.[nb]I actually laughed. I was 8[/nb]

checkoutgirl

Ricky Martin
Celine Dion
Sixpence None The Richer
Barbara Streisand
Shania Twain
Lou Bega
Jah Rule
Eiffel 65
Steps
Alice Deejay
DJ Luck and MC Neat
Cisco
Baha Men
Feeder
Usher
Toploader
Dido
Eve
Jon Bovi
Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mýa and Pink (individually and together)
Sophie Ellis Bextor
Sash
Lyte Funky Ones


Mr Banlon


Dr Rock

Boney M are fabulous.

Cliff had a bizarre run of good records in the 70s and also looked cool for ten minutes.

My vote goes for Shakin' Stevens - even ironic fascination and that time he was clearly pissed on Saturday Superstore couldn't stop him being naff with everything he done.

Oh nobody mentioned Five Star? They had one good song, possibly two.

stunted


NurseNugent

I like Boney M. I was gutted when Bobby Farrell died.

These cunts in the on the other hand ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goombay_Dance_Band

Mr Banlon

The Goombay Dance Band were well dated and naff already when they had the bloody record out. Jesus they were shit

SteveDave

Quote from: checkoutgirl on June 15, 2015, 05:54:27 PM
Daniel O'Donnell, the omnipresent galactic super emperor of naff. Started out naff, stayed consistently naff throughout his career and pop round to his house today and you're guaranteed a veritable smorgasbord of naff. He's just naff.



In the Daniel O'Donnell auto-biography[nb]I used to read it in a charity shop near where I worked in Potters Bar, alright?[/nb], there's a photo of him "recording my greatest hits album". It confused me then & it still confuses me today.

Serge

Quote from: fit bird on June 16, 2015, 04:36:10 PMEarth Wind & Fire

Nooo! They may have become naff, but some of their early stuff is great. Try 'Bad Tune' from their first album.

purlieu


Rock - sette!



You don't often hear them mentioned nowadays, but they were crazily popular for a while.

Goldentony

alright I was letting Boney M slide because Rasputin is my jam but that's where that shit ends but I am NOT having Roxette! let's think about this for a second

IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE [IT OVER NOW]
THE LOOK
FADING LIKE A FLOWER
JOYRIDE
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
ALMOST UNREAL

Don't try to touch this post because the above is TOO HOT do you get it THEY ARE AMAZING TUNES


Brundle-Fly

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on June 16, 2015, 01:44:10 PM
Not having that. Always loved them. Listen to their beautiful version of Nick Drake's River Man. Although this is third generation Swingles, I reckon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxQkVtvwcLk

And of course, (prompted by Black Ship), I forgot their work with Pulp. I used to love this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTAj652z4mo


Petey Pate


The Masked Unit


Mijkediablo

Embrace. They were piss-weak Oasis/ late Verve wannabes in 1997, and even worse in their Chris Martin-sponsored comeback.

Serge

Jesus, I'd forgotten about Embrace. There was Gomez too, with their growly man singer. Not to mention fucking Starsailor, who had the cheek to name themselves after that album. I used to work with a woman who hated The Verve but loved Starsailor, which confused me, as the latter seemed like essentially a Verve tribute act.

Kane Jones

Fucking hell, yes.  Starsailor and Embrace are the epitome of offensively boring shit. I've heard more interesting farts.

Neville Chamberlain

Imagine what Danny McNamara's farts sound like!

purlieu

More interesting than his voice, that's for sure.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

And the way that flatulence pulls on you and I...

checkoutgirl

Evanescence. Embrace may be bad but they're Mozart compared to Evanescence. Even the name Evanescence. Is it the essence of Evan? What would that be?

Kane Jones

Quote from: checkoutgirl on June 17, 2015, 01:21:40 PM
Evanescence. Embrace may be bad but they're Mozart compared to Evanescence. Even the name Evanescence. Is it the essence of Evan? What would that be?

I disagree. They're both terrible shit. Although I once heard someone mistakenly refer to Evanescence as 'Effervescence', so that anecdote alone makes them better than Embrace.

checkoutgirl

Nickelback. A mate of mine bought their album on the strength of their big hit at the time. The one about not making it as a poor man stealing. He expressed surprise that the rest of the album was all hard rock chugging and I barracked him for even liking any song by this band. To be fair he was never much into music so the mistake was understandable. Still, if you buy a Nickleback album you deserve what you get.

Doomy Dwyer

The belief that Tom Jones is in any way 'cool' is, as the man himself would testify, the wisdom of a fool. That he has sung some of the finest songs ever recorded counts for nothing, the unwashed masses and the hoi polloi refuse to see beyond the perma tan, the shirt unbuttoned to the navel and the sweat soaked brow mopped with an old womans knickers in Vegas. But with those with eyes to see and ears that listen with no prejudice - Tom Jones is The Man. I've heard he was Elvis Presley's favourite singer. Along with all those other singers who were Elvis Presley's favourite singer. Nick Cave is a massive fan. He has sung, crooned and belted out Bond themes, murder ballads and modern pop songs like Kiss by the modern pop star Prince.

He's written off as a bellower, all power and no feeling. To those who would sit in judgement I say unto thee - Listen to Green, Green Grass of Home. Sensitivity, soulfulness, tenderness – its all there by the bucket load. But the song that I hold dearest is The Young New Mexican Puppeteer. I firmly believe – and if you believe nothing else I've ever written on these boards then believe this, I beseech you – that if this song were to be adopted not as a national but a Global Anthem then all racial, class and religious struggles would end and the world would be a better place. It wouldn't solve famine and pestilence, but that's a lot to ask from a short-arsed mutton fucker, whaddayagunnado?

Listen with me and raise a glass to world peace - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHip77SVmvM