Shit "The _____" bands from the noughties that are all but forgotten

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

The Music
The Zutons
Razorlight (honorary shit noughties "The" band)
The Cooper Temple Clause


I know there are many more but wine and ale are affecting my memory..

[Phoenix Lazarus]

The lot of them, just about.

[Dr Rock]

The Klaxons
The Maccabees
The Bees
The Maccas
The Rachel Stevens

[Subtle Mocking]

The Vines, The Hives, The Pigeon Detectives, The Fratellis, The Kooks, The Enemy, The Airborne Toxic Event, The Others, The Subways, The Libertines, The Wombats, The View, The Rakes, The Rifles, The Moldy Peaches, The Hoosiers, The Maccabees, The Kills, The Holloways, The Paddingtons, The Drums, The Cribs, The Courteeners

Particularly bad ones are italicised.

[DukeDeMondo]

I decided to give The Others a listen again recently after bringing them up in another thread, and their garbage is actually quite endearing now. I mean it is utter fucking truck, but charmingly shit, in a way the others named here never were. Plus I suppose their hearts were in the right place.

Still a load of fuckin bins, mind.

The Libertines were and are extraordinary.

[thraxx]

 
The Orson

The Fratellis

The scissor sisters (have we forgotten them yet?)

The cunts that did 'its a shame about ray'

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

I decided to give The Others a listen again recently after bringing them up in another thread, and their garbage is actually quite endearing now. I mean it is utter fucking truck, but charmingly shit, in a way the others named here never were. Plus I suppose their hearts were in the right place.

Still a load of fuckin bins, mind.

I live in the same block of flats as one of the blokes from The Others. I never say hello to him though as I really couldn't give a shit about him or his band.

[Dr Rock]

The Lemonheads are an 80s band.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

The Lemonheads are an 80s band.

And they were at various times fucking great.

[thraxx]

The Lemonheads are an 80s band.

I meant The Hoosiers and their 'worried about ray' pile of shit.  Not the Lemonheads.  Quite fittingly, I had forgotten exactly how the shit went.

[Mijkediablo]

The Cooper Temple Clause

Their first album and the fan club EP were fucking dazzling. What came after was dull as fuck of course, but Panzer Attack, Film Maker and Been Training Dogs were great singles. There were a lot of bands around at the time who released great debut LPs but couldn't find any substance to follow up with. TCTC and Hope Of The States are the most glaring to me, their first albums were superb and their second albums were dire. The only band off the top of my head to improve on their second record was Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster.

[hayduke_lives]

The Datsuns - and although I actually like their first album, I was absolutely amazed to search YouTube for them and find they're still releasing stuff

[Phil_A]

I really, really hated The Hoosiers. ELO-plagiarising twats.

World record attempt[edit]
In an attempt to break the world record for the longest song ever recorded, The Hoosiers have released a version of the song that is available on iTunes to download called, "Stop Giving Me Verses". The band began a competition prior to the song's recording asking fans to write verses and send them in, no matter how ridiculous. The song is over 40 minutes long, and is the single "Choices" with hand-picked winners' lyrics. It was the first time that drummer Alfonso and bassist Martin took lead vocals for certain verses, and featured cameo verses from Jeff Leach and Katy Brand.

Apart from the fact that forty minutes really isn't that long(there must be classical or jazz pieces which go on longer, surely), who could honestly listen to a forty minute Hoosiers song? Jesus, the thought of it.

Further entries in the Playlist Of The Damned:
The Twang.
The Wombats.
The Feeling. The Feeling! Was there ever a more cringingly insipid band than this?

The Editors still haven't fucked off, have they? I blame Zane Lowe. Also The Horrors, who I imagine are at this very moment going through a list of eighties bands they haven't copied yet. "Echo & The Bunnymen?" "Nah, done them."

[thraxx]

The Horrors had their moments.

What about the clutch of shoreditch twat bands, such as:

Does it Offend You, Yeah?
We Smoke Fags

Has no-one mentioned

Hard-Fi

and

The fucking Ting Tings

[Dr Rock]

They're just called Editors. that's all I know about them though.

[mr grole]

Apart from the fact that forty minutes really isn't that long(there must be classical pieces which go on longer, surely)

Beethoven's 9th symphony is slightly over an hour, but I guess they aren't counting classical music as songs, as such.

[Tapiocahead]

The Automatic were the worst thing ever

[Dr Rock]

Google says Mike Peters out of The Alarm has since broken their stupid record.

[lazarou]

The only band off the top of my head to improve on their second record was Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster.

They were always the strangest bunch to get lumped in with that whole Strokes/garage rock frenzy. They looked, sounded and acted like they were from a whole other planet from the rest of that lot. To their benefit, as they were massively more fun.

I liked The Kills, and The Faint for that matter, who briefly drifted into MTV2 playlists for an album or two. Didn't mind The Coral, though not sure how that stuff's aged as I haven't listened to it since then.

Just spent five minutes wracking my brain trying to remember what The Bravery were called. So, The Bravery.

The Editors still haven't fucked off, have they?

Doing some digging on these bands seems to bring up surprisingly long careers. The Bravery had three albums, I only vaguely remember a second single. The Coral split up in 2012, halfway through their seventh album.

[non capisco]

Also The Horrors, who I imagine are at this very moment going through a list of eighties bands they haven't copied yet. "Echo & The Bunnymen?" "Nah, done them."

Whatsischops the vocalist from The Horrors is one half of Cat's Eyes, who I do really like. They did a great job on the 'Duke Of Burgundy' soundtrack anyway.

2005-6 was the reign of the truly dogshit 'The' bands, and also sadly when I was in a workplace that constantly had XFM on, with its nauseatingly scant daily playlist. You've probably seen the Laurel and Hardy film 'Saps At Sea' which begins with them working in a horn factory and Ollie  having meltdowns every time he hears a horn noise. I was becoming like that but instead of horn noises it was 'Riot On The Radio' by The Dead 60s. That wasn't even the worst one I suppose, it's a sort of crap ersatz Clash so you'd think I could live with it but it was just the sheer grinding repetition of the thing. That song was on seemingly three times an hour and I don't think it was even a hit. It was like the DJ in that Father Ted episode but instead of only bringing The Model by Kraftwerk he'd only brought 'Riot On The Radio' by The Dead 60s and 'Boys Will Be Boys' by The Ordinary Boys. But every now and again XFM's emergency broadcast system would kick in, which was of course 'I Predict A Riot' by the pissing Kaiser Chiefs. The sound of that pack of zoomers going 'OooooOOOOOOOOh, OoooOOOOOOOOOOH!, oooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!' has an emetic effect on me to this day.

[Captain Z]

It's bizarre; I have not had much to do today yet unusually have not paid a visit to CAB until now. One thing that did occupy my time was finally relabelling a load of 90s dance and landfill indie compilation CDs a colleague had invited me to pilfer off his HD a while back. As a part time DJ I couldn't allow it into my archive without relabelling the files properly, but as I had little interest in 95% of the tunes I had been putting this off for some time (I intend to keep it for wedding reception playlists etc).

The biggest laugh I had through all of this was looking back through the 2004-7 indie compilations and revisiting the countless bands that somehow all seemed to have once been billed as the next big thing, promptly to fade into obscurity after one single. So much so that I actually thought: 'This would be a great topic to post on CAB'... before 2 seconds later thinking 'Nah, it's probably been done, and would get 0 replies'.

Here's what I can add to the list (to be read in Jo Wiley's voice):

The Dandy Warhols
The Libertines
The Kooks
Reverend & The Makers
Hot Chip
LCD Soundsystem
The Gossip
Bloc Party
The Thrills
The Magic Numbers
Empire Of The Sun
30 Seconds To Mars
Cage The Elephant
Noah And The Whale
The Ting Tings
The Automatic
Dirty Pretty Things
Guillemots
The Feeling
Kaiser Chiefs
The Hives
Jet
Orson
Babyshambles
The Bravery
The Rapture

[purlieu]

The Cooper Temple Clause

What? I mean really though, what? There were so many terrible guitar pop bands around ten years ago who were either a bit choppy guitars post-punk-ish or a bit choppy guitars 'we like Blur'-ish, but TCTC don't even remotely fit this mould. They were a mix of XTRMNTR-era Primal Scream and Radiohead with twinges of '90s US post-hardcore, if anything. The first two albums are fantastic, daring records that don't belong anywhere near this list, and even their final 'label forced us to do a poppy album' record has some lovely moments.

I'll also take exception to The Rapture, who were pretty great; and Hot Chip who I don't like but seem to be doing pretty well these days and haven't been forgotten at all.

[lazyhour]

LCD Soundsystem

No. The overplaying of "Daft Punk Is Playing At My House" on Xfm turned me off LCD for a few years. Then on a whim I bought the Sound Of Silver album in a charity shop. It was only a quid, and I dimly recalled someone whose opinion I trusted saying it was good.

It is very good. They do not belong in this list. To the doghouse with you!

[lazarou]

Captain Z's big list

LCD Soundsystem actually were the next big thing, to be fair. The Dandys made an absolute killing and 30 Seconds to Mars are arena-filling famous, though fuck knows why (we all know why).

Why do people keep listing the Libertines as all but forgotten? They were a shambles and not nearly as famous as NME liked to think they were, but they're not getting forgotten by Indie kids any time soon.

[non capisco]

Yeah, 'Sound Of Silver' is magic from start to finish.

Sound of silver, talk to me
Makes you wanna feel like a teenager
Until you remember the feelings of
A real life emotional teenager....
...then you think again

I mean...that's a hook.

[Don_Preston]

Ah, I'm liking the schism between the hackneyed, 'dusted off every six months' thread of "Weren't most music from the 00s terrible?" and those offering up some defence.

At the very least, it just shows how few of these bands had anything in common bar the definite article ("Three more from them later..." Let alone that this wa ever a 'scene' as it's lazily lumped into.

[lazyhour]

Nah, the rest of 'em[nb]except Hot Chip[/nb] are all dog's tods.

[Mr Banlon]

The Electric Six
The Bensons
The Sweater Vests

[DukeDeMondo]

Too many brilliant bands bein slandered here. You could make a whole list of The ___'s that emerged in the wake of The Libertines, but that doesn't mean The Libertines were shit. They were fuckin brilliant.

https://youtu.be/Tgo7pjuDiDI

https://youtu.be/VisSLsjrFqY

[Brundle-Fly]

The Crescent
&
The 'burn

I have never knowingly heard anything by them though. They might be brilliant, but I suspect not.