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Excerpts from The Diary of a Tired Bulb-end, Aged 40 1/2

Started by poo, July 13, 2015, 09:15:38 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

poo


May 12, 1985

Really weird day. Don't know where to start really. I was chatting to Stalky and the Ball Brothers, Bonzo and Gonzo, after His Master's dinner when all of sudden I start getting this massive head rush and me and Stalky just start kind of inflating, really swelling up fast. I looked down and saw that I was miles away from the Ball Bros and stalky had turned into this big solid pillar and was huge and red and all shiny and well, quite awesome and magnificent looking. Together me and Stalky made a marvellous tower! Way beneath, I could see Bonzo and Gonzo were all scrunched up. I think they were afraid. Don't know what was happening round the back, but Alan was all quiet. Just as we were coming around and starting to wonder what was going on His Master's mother shouted something and then we were suddenly back to normal again. Really odd. We talked about it for the rest of the day and when we told Alan he laughed.

September 23, 1985

Just as me and Stalky were getting used to The Change, another new thing came along and literally rocked our world today. We were going through our second Change of the day. Stalky was MASSIVE, as big as I've ever seen him. Before I had the chance to shout to Alan, there we were, Stalky and me, out in the open being bashed around - quite hard at first, and then really really hard. It was almost like his master was trying to pull us off! He just kept tugging and tugging at us. Must've lasted for a good five minutes, maybe more.

We were getting all red raw and exhausted when all of a sudden me and Stalky started kind of fitting and then this amazing feeling rushed through us and I erupted a load of white goo from the top of my head and this stuff it shot out right over His Master's head and onto the picture of the red sports car on his bedroom wall. Mad! His Master just lay there panting and smiling for a long time and mopped all this gluey stuff from us and before we knew it we were back to normal but absolutely exhausted and a bit battered and bruised. Alan shouted up from round the back and said that even he felt it and he sounded all flustered. Another weird thing was that when His Master woke us up the next morning there was a load of white bits under my hood that looked like the cheese stuff he eats but it smelled like those orange crisps he takes to school. What a day!


Coming up - the furious 90s.
Later on - 2000s: The Alan years

doppelkorn


Bhazor

Missed the thread name and assumed the story was simply a Kafkaesque piece of surrealism.