Author Topic: Greggs news  (Read 11224 times)


Beagle 2

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2015, 10:50:13 AM »
He eats SANDWICHES? BIZARRE BIZARRE BIZARRE WHAT A FRUITCAKE HE IS LITERALLY OFF HIS TITS BIZARRE.

It must be fucking bemusing to pick up the paper as a famous person and see what they try and make stories from sometimes.

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2015, 10:50:44 AM »
Not the same branch of Greggs by the looks of it, but a good excuse for dragging this out again (credit: alcoholic messiah):


Re: Greggs news
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2015, 10:52:49 AM »
I have a Google alert for "Greggs" so that's how I keep on top of the comings and goings at this finest of British institutions.

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2015, 10:56:04 AM »
Do this right: A couple of weeks ago we planned a barbie but it was a washout so people came over and there was drinking and a few of us went down the road and bought over £50 worth of Greggs and we had a Greggs picnic inside and not being funny but it was in the top ten moments in my life. My wife said I was 'glowing' with joy.

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2015, 10:59:05 AM »
Must've had like 3 cheese and onion pasties to myself just as a starter. Hungover the next morning my darling wife brings me TWO lefover egg custards and tea in bed, and I was seriously almost overcome with happiness. Not only that, there were MORE LEFTOVERS for lunch on Sunday. Epic epic weekend.

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2015, 11:00:31 AM »
Thinking about it we must've dropped close to a oner on the Greggs binge. They gave us BOXES.

Hank_Kingsley

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2015, 11:08:00 AM »
Greggs sausage and bean pasty, fucking hell. That's a dirty dirty snack.

Co-Op do a good version of it too if you have ethical reasons for not eating at Greggs.

Beagle 2

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2015, 11:08:23 AM »
As soon as they're cold they're inedible. If you kept them warm via oven rotation fairly dos, otherwise you're a monster.

Paul Calf

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2015, 11:12:25 AM »
I wonder how much that cost Gregg's?

kittens

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2015, 12:00:53 PM »
wouldn't mind a greggs
cheese onion pasty, pizza thing, egg and tomato baguette, ribena, bag of crisps
less than a fiver to feel like the fattest bloke in the universe

massive bereavement

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2015, 12:24:35 PM »
Frozen Greggs Cheese and Onion pasties are exclusively available from Iceland stores. They take about 20 minutes in the oven.

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2015, 12:35:17 PM »
Ridiculous story.

Now if he was in to steak bake's that would be important news.

non capisco

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2015, 12:46:31 PM »
I once saw the following go down at a London branch of Greggs

MAN IN QUEUE IN FRONT OF ME: Can I have an apple turnover please? (points to apple danish in cabinet)
GREGGS EMPLOYEE WOMAN: (points to apple turnovers on shelf near the man) They're there.
MAN: No, I'd like one of those apple turnovers please. (Continues pointing to apple danishes)
GREGGS WOMAN: (makes a 'spastic' face of the type beloved by John Lennon) UUUUUUUNNNNGGGHHHHH! THEY'RE OVER THERE!!!!!!!

Next time I was in there I saw she'd been promoted to manager.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2015, 01:58:44 PM »
Lots of Greggs enablers justify eating their tawdry substandard products by ladling on the "Ohh man but it's dirty tasty", but I don't think that side of things is really true either. They use the cheapest ingredients and their pastry is really not very good, something which they ought to actually be able to do without breaking the bank.

Just face it, it's bottom-rung in order to be cheap. Out there on the market their wares are as crap as it is possible to buy. There aren't bakery chains any viler/more disgusting than Greggs. If you enjoy it, then that's fine. But there is a hell of a lot of "dirty tasty" food with lots of fat and sugar and additives in that also happens to be made using better quality ingredients and to a higher standard. Try finding them if that's your thing, you'll probably discover they are objectively better.

I don't see any point reacting as if anyone trying to make you feel ashamed, or trying to excuse the reality of Greggs being awful by accusing people of being 'a snob'. (On the subject, I do my grocery shopping at ASDA and my food bill rarely exceeds £60 a month because it can't in order for me to survive).

I think this is another case of culture lowering the median to the point where people consider it to be normal.

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #15 on: July 24, 2015, 02:00:53 PM »
Bollocks.

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #16 on: July 24, 2015, 02:01:42 PM »
fuck off middle class ponce

The Masked Unit

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #17 on: July 24, 2015, 02:10:45 PM »
Cop a load of Lord fucking Bullingdon and his Asdas there. Only a slightly better baked bean slice will do for him.

mook

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #18 on: July 24, 2015, 02:15:16 PM »
Cop a load of Lord fucking Bullingdon and his Asdas there. Only a slightly better baked bean slice will do for him.

it's all the posh beer he get's down him. "a tempestuous little light ale with a glowing aftertaste & a mouth feel that can only be compared to a game of vigourous scrabble on a thursday evening."

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2015, 02:28:06 PM »
I've been to Greggs four times to buy donuts for the wife and each and every time a different staff member has spectacularly ignored my request to wrap it in paper instead of plastic.

The third time, as they began to smear the donut against the undesired plastic wrap, I reached over and gently touched their hand, announcing, "no".

amnesiac

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #20 on: July 24, 2015, 02:32:55 PM »
Never eaten fuck all from a Gregg but my wife enjoys their cream fingers

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Sam

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #21 on: July 24, 2015, 02:51:10 PM »
Your wife enjoys my cream fingers too.


BlodwynPig

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #22 on: July 24, 2015, 03:01:07 PM »
Top 3 Gregg's experiences:

1. Wolverhampton Mander Centre 2007 - two tramps argue over cheese and onion pasty. 1 fatality. Uneaten pasty.
2. Hinckley 2012 - Overpriced sausage roll leads to irreversible style fire extinguisher incident. Creamy mushroom pasty top seller that day.
3. Tipton High Street, also 2012 - Forced closure due to e. coli outbreak. Corpse of employee winched from inside after reopening 3 days later.

Blue Jam

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #23 on: July 24, 2015, 04:17:15 PM »
Lots of Greggs enablers justify eating their tawdry substandard products by ladling on the "Ohh man but it's dirty tasty", but I don't think that side of things is really true either. They use the cheapest ingredients and their pastry is really not very good, something which they ought to actually be able to do without breaking the bank.

Just face it, it's bottom-rung in order to be cheap. Out there on the market their wares are as crap as it is possible to buy. There aren't bakery chains any viler/more disgusting than Greggs. If you enjoy it, then that's fine. But there is a hell of a lot of "dirty tasty" food with lots of fat and sugar and additives in that also happens to be made using better quality ingredients and to a higher standard. Try finding them if that's your thing, you'll probably discover they are objectively better.

Where I work we have a weekly lab meeting followed by a coffee break with cakes, which are provided by the person who presented their work at last week's lab meeting- that's the rule. Most of us just go to Tesco or Sainsbury's for them but we get the odd cheapskate who goes to Greggs, and that's how I ended up trying their donuts. They're all just very odd- the jam ones taste very artificial, the iced ring donuts aren't melt-in-the-mouth and the icing isn't that nice thin and crumbly brittle glaze, and the mini ring donuts smell disturbingly like Ikea vanilla candles. All supermarket options are better than these.

That said I think the worst high street bakery chain is definitely Krispy Kreme. I'd rather eat a tub of Vaseline with a spoon than try one of their great shiny grease pods ever again.

Shameless Custard

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #24 on: July 24, 2015, 04:24:38 PM »
When did Greggs go brown? I went to one the other day and it had turned brown. When did it turn brown?

Blue Jam

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #25 on: July 24, 2015, 04:30:35 PM »
When did Greggs go brown? I went to one the other day and it had turned brown. When did it turn brown?

Only posh branches of Greggs are brown- or grey, or black- to blend in with the nearby posh shops and houses, Mister La-Di-Da. I once noticed a blue Greggs sign in a skip behind the Durham Greggs so presumably this was a branch that was going up in the world [spoiler]and no, I didn't nick it, though I did think about doing this for half a second. I left it for the Durham students to enjoy.[/spoiler]

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #26 on: July 24, 2015, 04:30:58 PM »
When did Greggs go brown? I went to one the other day and it had turned brown. When did it turn brown?

When you left it out in the sun for too long.

Re: Greggs news
« Reply #27 on: July 24, 2015, 04:37:33 PM »
my food bill rarely exceeds £60 a month because it can't in order for me to survive.


Please tell me how you're doing this.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #28 on: July 24, 2015, 04:37:39 PM »
Experiences cont'd:

4. Durham Greggs - renovation complete, the builders are horrified to find a naked man sellotaped to the old Greggs sign in the skip out the back. He has long been dead and is now a husk in the abnormally hot weather. The builders wolf down their steak and cheese rolls before calling it in.

Shameless Custard

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Re: Greggs news
« Reply #29 on: July 24, 2015, 04:38:59 PM »
Ahh, I see

Though it was only the one in Kingston market place, so I'm not quite Lord Montysocks

It startled me though. Like when MaccyD's went all green that time

Why must they keep mucking about with things?