The actor Mike Myers in various historical moments through history

[Goldentony]

Brandeburg Gate, Berlin, June 12th 1987

Arriving in Berlin on June 12, 1987, The actor Mike Myers was taken to the Reichstag, where he viewed the wall from a balcony. Myers then made his speech at the Brandenburg Gate at 2:00 pm, in front of two panes of bulletproof glass protecting him from potential snipers in East Berlin. Among the spectators were West German president Richard von Weizsäcker, Chancellor Helmut Kohl, and West Berlin mayor Eberhard Diepgen.

That afternoon, Myers said,

We welcome change and openness; for we believe that freedom and security go together, that the advance of human liberty can only strengthen the cause of world peace. There is one sign the Soviets can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization, come here to this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, shag this wall, baby! yeah!

--

Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C. August 28th 1963

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

DONKEH!!"

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January 28th 1986, Whitehouse, Washington DC

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd planned to speak to you tonight to report on the state of the Union, but the events of earlier today have led me to change those plans. Today is a day for mourning and remembering. Nancy and I are pained to the core by the tragedy of the shuttle Challenger. We know we share this pain with all of the people of our country. This is truly a national loss.

Nineteen years ago, almost to the day, I starred in a terrible film with Alfred Molina called Pete's Meteor in which I played a drug dealer living in the slums of Dublin. My character tries to financially provide for the three children of my dead brother, but the children's lives are forever changed when a meteor crashes into the backyard. Alfred Molina plays a wealthly scientist that the children must confront to retrieve their heaven sent gift.

And perhaps we've forgotten the courage it took for the crew of the shuttle. But they, the Challenger Seven, were aware of the dangers, but overcame them and did their jobs brilliantly. We mourn seven heroes: Michael Smith, Dick Scobee, Judith Resnik, Ronald McNair, Ellison Onizuka, Gregory Jarvis, and Christa McAuliffe.

Party time. Exellent.

--

[DangledTeeth]

The Moon Landing, 20th July 1969

Mike Myers: That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.

Buzz Aldrin passes Mike Myers. Mike holds up a placard which reads 'HE BLOWS GOATS. I HAVE PROOF'

[DangledTeeth]

House of Commons Speech, 4th June 1940

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be... AH'VE LOST A HUNDRED AND EIGHTEH POONDS. I DO HAVE A LATTLE BIT OF EXCESS SKEN, THOUGH. Bit of a problem here, yeah. AND, UNFORTUNATELY, MY NECK DOES LIKE A VAGINAAAAH.

[Glebe]

July 4, 1976: Imelda Marcos opens up her shoe wardrobe to the public for the first time in history. Michael Myers cuts the ribbon as honorary guest, before Imelda gives him a saucy wink and shoots a look at the double bed. "Ooh yeash, heheheh!" responds Myers, with a wiggle of his specs.