David Cameron put his willy in a dead pig's mouth

[Danger Man]

DEAD SON DEAD SON DEAD SON I look like a shit Jamie Oliver impersonator, don't I?

[Pseudopath]

I bet Jeremy Corbyn would only put his willy in a basket of fucking tofu shaped like the Hammer and Sickle or something

That's no way to talk about Diane Abbott!

*QI KLAXON*

Bugger.

[Danger Man]

This Wednesday:

Jackie from Invercargill has emailed me to ask "Did you fuck a pig or didn't you?"

[brat-sampson]

Lots of meanies going about saying he fucked a pig. Nobody's saying he fucked it, just that he put his cock in the mouth of it's severed head.

He probably didn't even cum.

Probably.

[Default to the negative]

You dirty bastard.

[Fabian Thomsett]

Maybe Liz Truss knew:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRhlRM6rYck

[Absorb the anus burn]

I always thought it was customary to put a rosy red apple inside a pig's mouth, not a wrinkled chipolata sausage and two withered plums.

[Pseudopath]

Maybe Liz Truss knew:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRhlRM6rYck

Ha ha! I hadn't seen that clip before. Hilarious.

[Dr Rock]

BITING SATIRE NOW!

[ollyboro]

So what's Dave's sexual categorisation? Swinophilic necrophile? Not sure how this will play out with his demands for EU reform. Brussels is always going to be able to play the "Yeah, but you fucked a dead pig card", and there's fuck all Berohead can do about it.

[Danger Man]

The Daily Mail really is the pruppet master.

It attacks Corbyn and we all boo then it attacks Cameron and we all cheer.

It's all panto, isn't it?

[kittens]

david cameron fucked a dead pig
david cameron fucked a dead pig!!
david cameron david cameron
david cameron fucked a dead pig lads!!!
david cameron fucked a dead pig!

[batwings]

Cameron throated a dead pig because he knew it wouldn't squeal.

Cameron is a fan of M Night Shyamalan because he likes his tail with a twist at the end.

etc

[ollyboro]

It's like a Jackie Collins novel.

[kittens]

serious mis-step by cameron to have fucked a dead pig

[RDRR]

Corbyn might be a trotskyite, and a threat to my family's security but er, you know, fucking a dead pig's head that's a bit much

[kittens]

fucking dead pigs is historically quite unpopular with the electorate isn't it

[Dr Rock]

'NOW THE THING TO REMEMBER. WHAT IS VITAL... IS THAT I TOOK IT OUT AGAIN. IT'S NOT STILL THERE. YOU CAN GO LOOK FOR IT, BUT YOU WON'T FIND IT. TRUST ME. YES I PUT MY PENIS IN A DEAD PIG'S MOUTH... BUT I TOOK IT BACK OUT AGAIN. RIGHT OUT.'

[Absorb the anus burn]

[Crabwalk]

Have to say I'm surprised that Stewart Lee would guest edit the Daily Mail.

Can't wait for PMQs this week, though.

"Babe asks 'What reassurances can you give my community that you won't fuck our corpses in the face?"

[Default to the negative]

fucking dead pigs is historically quite unpopular with the electorate isn't it

Oh no, it's very popular. It's classic British eccentricity.

The Bright Young Things, gallivanting around, swilling champagne and fucking dead pigs.

[Dr Rock]

I was actually going to put a small bet on this happening, bloody wished I had now.

[Fabian Thomsett]

"Gotta letter from Mrs Hogg in Hampton..."

[RDRR]

Not to flog a dead horse or anything but... fucking a dead pig's head is really not on imho

[neardark]

He won't be able to tweet without getting a barrage of 'yeah but you got your cock in a dead pig's mouth' tweets everytime until forever.

[Mijkediablo]

Cameron was delighted to be skullfucking a porcine decapitee. He was like a pig in shit.

[fit bird]

Did he have a lob on though?

[kittens]

to me it seems that the better course of action would have been to not fuck the dead pig's head
though i mean that's just me

[Crabwalk]

Next front cover of Private Eye to feature a very good ham pun. Possibly involving trots / trotters and Jeremy Corbyn.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

Prime minister? prime rib, more like!