Bak To Reality-Channel 5,8pm

[king mob]

This looks sheer class for any reality TV addicts,tonight C5 8pm

See the website

Nasty Nick,Jade, Maureen from Driving School,Uri Geller & Fat Rik among others.

Could either be a crushing disaster or comedy gold!

[mr rou-rou]

well fluff me, Lizzy 'wife swap' Bardsley is on it, :/

[Capuchin]

Has this thing been filmed and is showing after the fact, or are they all there right now? Because surely the only decent thing to do would be to firebomb the place?

[gazzyk1ns]

Jade's profile is hilarious on that site:

Phobias: "Tomato Ketchup - I will punch anyone that tries to put it near me...if I went to eat a chip and it had ketchup on it I'd cry and be sick."

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

This is actually a genuine prgramme, isn't it.  I love Jade Goody's objection to tomato sauce.

Phobias: "Tomato Ketchup - I will punch anyone that tries to put it near me...if I went to eat a chip and it had ketchup on it I'd cry and be sick."

- fuck, just beaten to it by Gazzy

And the completely sane Uri Geller's

Habits: "I stand on my head once a day, and I'm sure I look ridiculous but I'm not going to give that up."

Apart from a few notable exceptions, I haven't heard of quite a few of these (what the fuck is Ricardo?).

[king mob]

Apart from a few notable exceptions, I haven't heard of quite a few of these (what the fuck is Ricardo?).

Thats a good question to say the least but on last nights evidence hes found a soulmate in Jade, who seems to be as thick as ever.Though asking fat Rik if he smelled is a class moment of modern tv history.

Ricardo is from megacrap reality show "The Salon" & will probably end up sleeping with James Hewitt on this show.

Lizzy 'wife swap' Bardsley

Shes not altogether sane is she?

I missed the Wife Swap with her, was it as nightmareish as it looks?

[Capuchin]

It was a fucking hoot.

[Gazeuse]

I did a demo for this, but I didn't get it. It seems that they used a cover of 'Lust For Life' by Iggy, or something uncannily close!!!

I kept getting embarrased and had to turn over. I do like Jade though, although I'd not want to ever meet her (Noise).

[king mob]

I did a demo for this, but I didn't get it. It seems that they used a cover of 'Lust For Life' by Iggy, or something uncannily close!!!

I kept getting embarrased and had to turn over. I do like Jade though, although I'd not want to ever meet her (Noise).

She does look better now that shes not blonde but its her ability to use the English language that facinates me.

A meeting of minds may happen tonight when Kerry McFadden turns up tonight.

[Gazeuse]

I do like Jade though

She does look better now that shes not blonde but its her ability to use the English language that facinates me.

Did you see the bit where someone asked her where Essex was??? She lives there and didn't have a clue!!!

She seems sweet.

[king mob]

I did, it was oddly sweet wasn't it?

Its nice to see that genuinely think people can be minor clebs as well as the publicity hounds.

There appears to be a problem with Rik Wallers bed as well, seems to be too small for him.

Click

[imitationleather]

Nasty Nick's doing it... Again!

This is brilliant TV, I don't care what anyone says.

P.S. king mob, please put a c in 'Bak' in the subject heading, it's really annoying me. And don't try to be funny by spelling it 'Bakc' (or indeed, any other variation that isn't 'Back'), it's not big and it's not clever.

P.P.S. Oh yeah, and it's 'five' not 'Channel 5'. Jesus Christ, where have you been for the last 12-odd months? Under a fucking rock?

[weekender]

This program is superb in the extreme, I've been watching it all week.

Nasty Nick is messing around and suggesting that Josie D'Arby is a mole in the camp.  Meanwhile, Maureen from Driving School has just tried to suggest what it's like when she has an orgasm, and unsurprisingly it looked hideous.

This pisses on Big Brother, just because no-one knows what the fuck they're doing there.

Also, I still maintain that Richard Bacon is a very good presenter with a dry sense of humour.

[imitationleather]

Bacon is great. Did you ever see him when he did The Big Breakfast (y'no, just before it got axed)? He was fantastic, and pissed on Chris 'Producer of Below-Par Shows' Evans and Johnny 'BBC3' Vaughn.

He really needs to be given his own show that isn't going to be ridiculed for supposedly not being as good as it was ten years ago, or buried on a digital channel that no one watches. Oh yeah, and he needs to be given a show where he's not lumbered with some parasitical piece of emotionless of eyecandy (re: Tess Daly and Amanda Byram).

As for the programme itself: Who do you think will go first? It's so obviously going to be American Sarah, the only person where the presenters tell us which reality show she's appeared on every time we're told the list of numbers to call incase we've already forgotten who she is (which we of course have). Surely they could have got someone a bit more high-profile than her. Afterall, all reality TV stars are publicity whores.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

As for the programme itself: Who do you think will go first? It's so obviously going to be American Sarah, the only person where the presenters tell us which reality show she's appeared on every time we're told the list of numbers to call incase we've already forgotten who she is (which we of course have). Surely they could have got someone a bit more high-profile than her. Afterall, all reality TV stars are publicity whores.

Perhaps if more people were aware of these pics they'd keep her in. NOT WORK SAFE!

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/kozer1.html

[imitationleather]

Blimey! These posh women, they've always got a dark side...

[weekender]

Did you ever see him when he did The Big Breakfast (y'no, just before it got axed)?

I remember watching him on TBB when he went out to some estate or other to go door knocking, and he pulled up in his big Land Rover, got out, did his initial spiel, then walked off - making a very specific and overexaggerated point of locking the Land Rover doors via his fancy remote control.  

Of course, every single window had been left open, and the way he walked off blase about it was great.  Intentional, but still very funny I thought.

I like the way with this series you're supposed to vote for your favourite, and the person with the least votes gets chucked off.  Hopefully no-one will vote for the vacuous waste of space that is Josie D'Arby and she goes home sobbing.  Also, I would like Maureen to kill herself (or at least have a proper mental breakdown live on telly) as she appears to serve no purpose whatsoever.

[Hairy Chin]

Just tuned in tonight - Have they put a fucking laugh track over the show?

Jade got a laptop with a CD-movie of her fella & baby, and as she's crying it watching it, there's laughing over the top of it - what the fuck? Or do they show it to a stupid audience? It just doesn't have that 'live audience' sort of feel, y'know?

EDiT:
No, it is an audience! Ther ewas just something really fake-sounding about the laughter, kind of 'controlled murmurs' of laughter. Bloody weird, especially as they seemed to be laughing in inappropriate places.

[imitationleather]

Maybe it was you laughing and you were having an out of body experience.

What happened tonight? I missed it once again.

[Hairy Chin]

No, I can guarantee I've never laughed at that show. I've cringed many times, usually because of Richard Bacon's hosting, particularly the night big Rik had his breakdown and Bacon announced "I'm making this up as I go along" - I rubbed my hands with glee at the prospect of him ad-libbing.

Tonight, I only dipped in from when Jade was given a laptop with a CD from home, she set it on the desk, opened the laptop up and promptly called some bloke over, asking if they could turn it on for her. The DVD had a message from her fella, and he was holding her little baby and saying how much they missed her, she started getting overwhelmed and cried a bit...and the audience started their sort of murmured laughing - which is why I thought it wa someone taking the piss byt playing canned laughter deliberately at inappropriate or pointless moments - even when contestants did nothing of note, there was a small ripple of giggles. I thought I'd missed something and they were playing the laughter on purpose.

Anyway, all I remember of the show is that Maureen had to park a Lada on the 'street' in front of the house, with that baldy guy who sed to be in Top Gear in the passenger seat, and they'd changed the steering round on the car. Quite evil, yet entertaining viewing.

Oh yeah, and Uri walked out at some point today, he's convinced either some of the contestants or crew were rummaging through his belongings or some shit like that - getting at his stash of bendy spoons probably. And he was also upset that there were microphones in the bathroom; the excuse he was given that a technician was in the house, was that the microphone in the bathroom was being adjusted, and Uri took offence to this - he started going off on one about the contracts or something and that he was in the CIA for three years, and he was impressed if there were mics in the bathroom because he couldn't see them. He also registered his disgust at drinking vodka from the cock of an ice-sculpture or something. I misse yesterday's show, but someone phoned me in the show this morning, saying something about a male and female ice-sculpture containing booze, thay you could only drink by simulating oral sex on the ice-work.

Wish I'd seen it last night now actually, sounds a giggle and possibly another depth five has managed to plumb to in a TV show. Either way works for me.

[Rats]

Bacon just did a bad impression of johnny vaughn on the big breakfast. I hate his face.

[Hairy Chin]

Dod you see him when he made that inadvertant double-entendre? You could tell the realisation of what he'd just said hit him the split second after he'd spoken the words - and then instead of just laughing it off, or playing it straight and pretending not to notice any double-meaning in what he'd just said, the audience laughed, and he just seemed to be struggling to handle them I felt; when a simple shrug of the shoulders and ain innocent "what?" would have worked, then he could have just carried on.

The double entendre, if you missed the show came about after Josie had spoken to the show's confessional camera in the shed, about Lizzie accusing her of conspiring to cause trouble in the house, Josie was quite pissed off and said she didn't want Lizzie coming in her face with any unimportant bullshit like that again. Cut back to the studio, Bacon: "I wonder what Josie meant about Lizzie coming in her face?" Audience had a right giggle while Bacon was trying to shut them up with slightly embarrassed "No, no, not like that...ssh, this is serious - sssh, this is serious..." and moved as quickly as possible onto the next item. The man's a tool.