Kirkcaldy Charabanc and his surprizing fruit aptitude!

[Glebe]

Just as I was settling down for the evening, with my slippers on and old Rex pawing at my feet, there was a knock on the door. "Who could that be, at 7:30PM?," I asked my imaginary wife Doris. Sadly, my woe was only to increase in the coming moments.

For I opened the door to the most surprizing gentlemen I had ever clapped eyes on. His name alone brought terror, but the sheer lunacy of his visage made my knees ache, like a forgotten pain come back to hate you. Flopping and flolloping, he inveigled his way into my drawing room, poured himself a brandy and sat by the fire. The night was yet young... and Señor Charabanc's eyes were wolloxed.

"Pray thee, kind sir," he boomed ethereally, "Do not linger long in this place. For it is haunted by several meerkats and stinks of raw beef," he bullshitted. I suggested he leave, but he twisted his wolloping lips ever fuck-wards. Rex growled, and in an instant - and a surprizing puff of smoke! - he was gone, never to return.

"Must sort out that credit union loan tomorrow," I mused.