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Finding a lump on the old ballbag

Started by Hank Venture, December 19, 2015, 01:41:16 AM

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Hank Venture

Currently taking bets on whether or not I have testicular cancer.

Glebe

Hopefully it's nothing serious, Hank... some years ago I was convinced I had a lump on the teste. I occasionally get worrisome sharp pains in the ballsack. Anyhoo, go to the doc and get it checked, mate.

Mijkediablo

I'd second Glebe's suggestion re: visiting the doctor. Hopefully it's nothing, but either way at least your testicles will get a good old groping[nb]Seriously though, hope everything's alright x[/nb].

Mr Banlon

Is it on the sack, or on the actual bollock ?
If it's on the sack, it's most likely a cyst. They just cut them off.
Even if it's on the bollock, it's probably still a cyst. They open your sack up and slice them off.
Still, whatever they are, get down to the doctor and get them checked out/sorted quick as you can.

koeman

I had a hard little lump a few years ago. Booked an appointment with the doctor but they couldn't get me in for a couple of days. By the time I went in, the lump had all but disappeared and it looked for all the world as though I'd gone in only to get my balls fondled by the very attractive locum.

wosl

I second Banlon's call: I'd reckon cyst.  They're pretty common.  I've got one which becomes prominent, like a pea, whenever I soak in warm bath water.  Never caused pain or dysfunction, so it's still there.  Cysts are discrete and usually feel fairly smooth and round to the touch, compared to the other (I believe), but obviously get it checked out with your GP, who I imagine will suggest a scan.

Quote from: Hank Venture on December 19, 2015, 01:41:16 AM
Currently taking bets on whether or not I have testicular cancer.

Yeah don't panic at this stage. I was terrified when I found a hard lump in my sack as a young teen, went to the doctor and turned out one of of the cords that connect to your balls (varicoele veins or something like that)was just swollen. The doctor drew me a little diagram of my bollocks and nut sack to demonstrate where the problem was.

The best part was that the doctor was the father of a mate of mine; and for months after I took great pleasure in reminding him his dad had cupped my spuds on his palm...the mate used to get really upset about it!


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Get your mate Barry to whale on your balls, twat it out.

True mates

Serge

Yeah, get it checked. Either way, you need to get it sorted.

checkoutgirl

Better than finding a lump on the young ballbag.

mook

it's probably just your little teeny weeny peeny feller!

im barry bethel

After consulting my nurse her advice is to sterilize a knitting needle in a pan of water then take a big breath

Famous Mortimer

I had something similar, back when I was a young-ish teenager. Well, it's still there, but that's when I first noticed it.

Mum was calm and businesslike when I told her what was going on, and we got an appointment right away. As I laid down in the knacker investigation room, the doctor poked his head round the door and was all "I have some students out here, is it okay if they have a quick gander at your twig and berries?" and I immediately agreed. Lord knows why, I was a pretty shy teenager.

Anyway, after having a bunch of medical students have a shuftie at my downstairs parts, which are nothing to write home about at the best of times (and were trying to retreat further), the doctor sent me for a scan. One doctor, one scanning wand thing and ample medical jelly later (that's a thing, right?) and it turns out it was a twist of some sort - I remember the words now, "hydatid of morgagni", even though it was about 25 years ago. So, no worries, and I'm glad I got it looked at. By quite a lot of people, as it turns out.

Pdine


Neville Chamberlain

When I was a teenager I had a weird spot that developed on my scrotal sac. After lots of umming and aahing about whether or not to make an appointment at the doctor, I eventually did, confident I'd see one of the older male doctors at the village surgery. Unfortunately for my teenage self, the doctor I'd been allocated to see was a new, youngish woman who'd just started at the village surgery. I could feel plenty of nervous twitching and unwelcome movement in my underpants while I was sitting in the waiting room - and of course, with depressing and embarrassing predictability, I'd developed a full-on, positively raging erection by the time I was summoned. On the plus side, it made it easier to inspect my bollocks![nb]The weird spot turned out to be a ball of lightning bouncing off a strut.[/nb]

On a serious note, definitely get your bollocks checked. Definitely definitely.

Cerys

Quote from: Famous Mortimer on December 19, 2015, 12:44:35 PMthe doctor poked his head round the door and was all "I have some students out here, is it okay if they have a quick gander at your twig and berries?" and I immediately agreed. Lord knows why, I was a pretty shy teenager.

Is this the story behind your choice of avatar?

Buelligan

I had a breast lump once, as my mum died of breast cancer I was quite worried. 

Doc sent me to a specialist, who cupped both my breasts and actually told me I had nice ones but probably also at least one would have to come off. 

Turned out he was wrong about the second thing and all was well. 

Moral of this story - it's worth getting checked out by an expert.  Good luck to you.

ollyboro

It's not as bad as finding a lump on the new ballbag. All those months of waiting for a suitable ballbag donor to crash his motorbike.......

Buelligan

If you'd care to think about it a little longer, you'll realise, ballbag donors are almost never those who crash their motorbikes.

DukeDeMondo

Aye, go and get it seen to, Hank. Few years ago I felt a lump on my balls. Novelty, for usually I'm just a lump other folk feel on their balls, but it threw me into a terrible funk. Was sure I was done for. Went to the doctor, and had the same sort of "can a student observe?" experience as Famous Mortimer described up above there. Anyway he felt somethin, so sent me to a specialist, but in the end it was nothin but some sort of spunk knot that meant nothin to nobody. I dare say that's the class of capers you're in for, an all. Best of luck to you, in any case, but don't worry.

Depressed Beyond Tables