Rainer Maria Schoppkins & The Interminable Squelch

[Sam]

There he is, being presented with a Crustacean Lifetime Achievalement Award by Barry the Butler on Southampton Docks.

But it wasn't always a life of shellfish prestige for Rainer, oh lordy lordkis no.

His mother, Dorothy - from whose snarling maw he was shat -  won several beauty contests on her continent of birthplace, Pluto. Here she is thanking some attendees:



It's no wonder poor Rainer grew up underneath a large pile of cushions!

He sent this postcard from there, dated April 1917, and entitled, quite simply, Penthesilea in Dismay:

NNIIIIIIYYYYHHH

[Glebe]

I'm really disgusted with you, Sam. If you had any nous, you'd know that Rainer is a total pariah, having stolen the Wibbley Wonky Jaw-Wubble award of 1977 from right under Uncle Fufkin's nose.