Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are

[Tits McGee]

Hang on, is this another company offering women a better deal than men?

[Boing]

I hate those Birds Eye ones.Yeah,it's easy to see why Birds Eye meals are more expensive when you got Al Pacino going:
"Luca Brazzi sleeps wid da fishes.Yeah,but he looks after doze fishes.And in doze pure voijin waters which shall remain unknown da Boidz Oy fisherman catch da fish so lovingly noich-ed wid massaaage and bedtime stories and optional gymnasiums.We make an effort here,yes I DO woik for Boidz Oy.So do Al a favour,OK.EAT DA FUCKIN' FISH!"

It's intimidation and should be outlawed.

[Catalogue Trousers]

sick as a pike wrote:

got in through the back gate and did a poo in the LEP electron-positron collider.

GRAMMAR POLICE!

It's "and DONE a poo".

[lipsink]

I love the new one with Martin Kemp trying to sell sofas. He sits up so far back he looks like a whore about to take it up the ass.

I alos love the way all those shaving ads at the end always show a woman appearing behind the man stroking his face. Wouldn't it be great if it showed a fat hairy bastard reaching forward to stroke the guys face going "Oooh, that's fookin' lovely that!"

[Mr Merlin]

There's an bus advert for some brand of frozen food which shows a picture of a frozen meal with half the food kept fresh in ice and half the food going rotten. It always reminds me of the Frederik Pohl story "The Tunnel Under The World" where adverts are tested on people and one morning the advert blaring from a loudspeaker on a van is,"If you have a Triplecold freezer, it stinks! If you have an Ajax freezer, it stinks! If you have last year's Feckle freezer, it stinks! Your food will rot and you'll get sick and die!"

[wheatgod]

I actually like the Birdseye frozen carrot ad. I have literally pointed at it and said, "That is a good ad". Its very effective, getting the message across well. All of Birdseye's ads at the moment are quite good, I've noticed.

[gazzyk1ns]

There was a Sensodyne advert on not so long ago which was good. It featured a dentist, with his obviously extensive qualifications clearly stated at the bottom of the screen, saying "I recommend that people with sensitive teeth use Sensodyne.", without acting in the slightest. Now, if I had sensitive teeth, that's the sort of thing I want from an advert for toothpaste. There's a dentist - an expert in teeth, and he is prepared to publicly state that in his professional opinion, people with sensitive teeth should use Sensodyne.

Now, obviously that dentist might just be saying what he said for the cash, and maybe there are better "sensitive" toothpastes out there. But I respected the advert; no pentapeptides-style jargon, no actors flashing their perfect teeth about, no CGI demonstration showing me that my teeth are probably currently rotting and encrusted in brown stuff.

[Catalogue Trousers]

Those appalling Dairylea Punchables in the Asda ads are back again. And this time they're singing Falling In Love Again.

I've joked about it all too frequently, but these ads feel more and more like they're being made by a fecking paedo. BAN THIS SICK FILTH NOW.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

"I heartily endorse this event or product"

[butnut]

I actually like the Birdseye frozen carrot ad. I have literally pointed at it and said, "That is a good ad". Its very effective, getting the message across well. All of Birdseye's ads at the moment are quite good, I've noticed.

I haven't seen the ones on TV, but the ones at bus stops really annoy me. Maybe I'm a bit of snob, but it seems to me like a campaign AGAINST fresh vegetables. Which is lunacy, as many people need to eat a hell of a lot more of them.

[Purple Tentacle]

First thing in the morning, when travelling to work, I see the one with the rotten fish.

Just what I need to see at the time in the morning. I have a very sensitive stomach you see, I might start a thread about it...

[Monkeyman1138]

What are these short ads with no logo or text except a blue square in the top-right corner with FUCKING STEPHEN MANGAN and FUCKING JULIAN RHIND-TUTT from FUCKiNG GREEN WING travelling in a car that I've seen on Channel 4 recently? (I fucking hate them)

[The Duck Man]

Barclaycard. Presumably they've used a credit card at some point.

[Catalogue Trousers]

Those bloody Magner's adverts get on my wick. Unthreatening rawk soundtrack, awful "laid-back" cod-Celtic voiceover, yet another attempt to capture the "poetically Oirish voibe" for Student Grant wankers everywhere, and for a cider which tastes like liquid shite whichever way you market it.

And yet another cider trying to convince us that it's improved by dumping half an iceberg in it. Magner's: the cider for wusses who can't handle cider and would much prefer a glass of Coca Cola, but aren't honest enough to admit it.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Those bloody Magner's adverts get on my wick. Unthreatening rawk soundtrack, awful "laid-back" cod-Celtic voiceover, yet another attempt to capture the "poetically Oirish voibe" for Student Grant wankers everywhere, and for a cider which tastes like liquid shite whichever way you market it.

Student grant? Get with the times grandad, they're all loans now!

[Catalogue Trousers]

It was a reference to the Viz comic, actually.

*takes drag on street-cred roll-up, ostentatiously fans self with suspiciously pristine copy of Simone de Beauvoir*

[mycroft]

I remember seeing a Magner's ad in a pub once, trying to work on the selling point that, if you have a bottle of the stuff and a pint glass filled with ice, you can fill the glass twice...

The only ad I like at the moment is the new porridge one with Windy Miller and his nudist uncle, narrated by Charlie Higson.

[Mister Cairo]

First they employ charity mugers to abuse people in the street, now they offend victims of the London bombings. It seems charities can get away with anything these days.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6036695.stm

What next, use of September 11th or the Dunblane shooting.

"But it was a conscious decision we made to provoke debate on this issue and draw attention to the tragic fact that, on average, three young men kill themselves every day in the UK.
"The reality is that in the UK the lives of over 1,000 young men a year are passed by without thought or comment. If they died from heroin it would get more attention."

Dying from heroin is a single factor. There are many reasons why people committ suicide, so it's harder to have an all-encompassing debate. And I find the idea that no-one cares about any of these people killing themselves ridiculous. What about their friends and family?

[Purple Tentacle]

Yeah, the cunts have been doing it with the Iraq war too.

"Over a hundred servicemen have been killed in Iraq. Hundreds of people a week die as well, and you don't care about them. But you should, you should care like what we do."

I honestly don't know, have I become more hostile to charities as I've got older, or have they become more abnoxious?

I have a couple of direct debits, but from my own bloody decisions, not because some cunt advertising executive tried to emotionally blackmail me, cunt.

[imitationleather]

Haha, the 'Campaign Against Living Miserably'. They really wanted the charity to be referred to as CALM so badly, didn't they?

The 'Institute for Reducing Anger and Terrible Events' (IRATE) would have been better, I reckon.

[Mister Cairo]

I honestly don't know, have I become more hostile to charities as I've got older, or have they become more abnoxious?

I think a lot of people who work for charities start to view all people not suffering from whatever the charity helps as part of the problem.