Author Topic: Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are  (Read 90258 times)

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #30 on: October 21, 2004, 11:46:45 AM »
I think it's been mentioned elsewhere but that fucking advert for kit-kats where everyone is shouting.  There really is no need for it and it gets instantly turned over in the zozman household.

I don't like that one where the pissed bloke is looking for his dog to beat up either.  I think these ads are counterproductive cos nobody wants to watch them.

Oh, and that one with the wheezing woman and the camera following the oxygen tube - why doesn't she just move the cylinder closer and she might be a bit better off?

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #31 on: October 21, 2004, 11:51:47 AM »
Quote from: "Elastic Spastic Shashlik"
Poorly acted Cancer Research ad... "I... I... I had a cancerous lump."


They are also massively counter productive... funnily enough I was raging internally about that particular one this morning.


One of Ms_T's relatives recently died of mouth cancer, and those smug fucking adverts with bastards saying "I'm cured! I'm cured!" didn't really help.

gazzyk1ns

  • "I don't give a shit if your dad's dead or anything else"
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #32 on: October 21, 2004, 12:39:43 PM »
"Waheyyyyy let's get up to all sorts of laddish pranks whilst drinking WKD, IT'S NOT A 14 YEAR-OLD GIRL'S DRINK, HONESTLY, LOOK, 'THE LADS' ARE DRINKING IT!".

Yeah, that's right, they're a bunch of normal males on a normal night out partaking in normal activities, they're not actors who look like they've just been turned down a role in "Shoot the Writers" or anything...

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #33 on: October 21, 2004, 12:53:35 PM »
Quote from: "Elastic Spastic Shashlik"
That current ad (don't know what it's for) featuring the pug ugly scouse bitch who confesses to being thick as a plank ("ask me dad!") and being 40 on the outside, but 18 on the inside. Whatever age she is, she's fucking ugly and annoying.

I really like that advert actually, and said so out loud just after the first time I saw it.  Mind you, perhaps that's because I think she's rather tasty, and am only four years off her age myself.  (I'm 39, she's 43, allegedly.)  Unfortunately the advert's for Norwich Union.

Mind you by the time I've seen it 22 times I'll probably be very sick of it.

I watched VH-1 Classic the other day for the first time in ages and I too was staggered by all those inane ringtone ads, often the same one over and over and over again.  I couldn't even understand why the hell they were on VH-1 Classic during their 80s weekend - not their target market, *surely*?

Krang

  • HeLLo iM GRANK! OoPpS LOLZ I MENT KRANG!
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #34 on: October 21, 2004, 01:14:04 PM »
I think its Coldseal windows, the one with the man dressed in renaissance clothing running around on green felt shouting "YOU BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE! I SAY YOU BUY ONE... GET ONE FREE!!"

The Sainsburys adverts with Jamie Oliver "yeh these sausages cost about £4 less than the top brand, but theyve been made from the same quality ingredients

"We only use the 4 prime areas off the pig, no nobbly bits" and the pig diagram only has 4 sections.

gazzyk1ns

  • "I don't give a shit if your dad's dead or anything else"
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #35 on: October 21, 2004, 01:24:25 PM »


"Hmmm, I'm feeling a bit ill, maybe I should take some painkillers, have a relaxing bath, or see a doctor... nahh, I'll download seven thousand smileys instead."


And one more example of ridiculous net advertising In the ad margin on Suprnova:


MojoJojo

  • Member
  • **
  • Between a cow college and a MetaLab.
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #36 on: October 21, 2004, 01:49:23 PM »
I've never clicked on a smiley ad before, and I have no intention to, but how the hell do they make money out of smileys?

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #37 on: October 21, 2004, 01:53:46 PM »
just seen an unbeleivable advert for some sort of miracle cleaner shite called 'binque' or something, ireally thought it was a joke at first . Gotta be! but its not..
also the advert for smint s thats really bad.

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #38 on: October 21, 2004, 02:05:42 PM »
Quote from: "Pinckle Wicker"
just seen an unbeleivable advert for some sort of miracle cleaner shite called 'binque' or something, ireally thought it was a joke at first . Gotta be! but its not..

There seems to be some kind of marketing ploy currently going on in the cleaning product industry, where companies give their products stupid names, presumably in order to make them more memorable. Look no further than Cillit Bang. I mean, who the what now? The bazooka was who's?

I hated on those Benecol adverts with The Vorderman, the way she was obliged to punctuate the word 'reduce' in the phrase 'can help reduce your cholesterol' with a hand motion that illustrates 'something getting smaller' (ie. bringing thumb and forefinger closer together). In every fucking advert, man. Thanks Carol, I was completely unaware of what 'reduce' meant until you did that explanatory hand gesture.

Cerys

  • Bionic-Arsed
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Cyber Engineered Ravaged Yakking System
    • The Brainwrongs of Cerys
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #39 on: October 21, 2004, 06:41:00 PM »
Quote from: "Muteki"
Look no further than Cillit Bang. I mean, who the what now?


The crappest thing about that name it that it's pronounced 'sillit'.  I'd be a damn sight more likely to buy a cleaning product called 'Killit Bang'.  But maybe they thought it may be found offensive by victims of gun crime.

Um.  How about Clit Bang!!! - with as many exclamation points as possible, just to underline how desperate they are for people to buy their crummy little product?

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #40 on: October 21, 2004, 07:14:59 PM »
Quote from: "Muteki"
I hated on those Benecol adverts with The Vorderman, the way she was obliged to punctuate the word 'reduce' in the phrase 'can help reduce your cholesterol' with a hand motion that illustrates 'something getting smaller' (ie. bringing thumb and forefinger closer together). In every fucking advert, man. Thanks Carol, I was completely unaware of what 'reduce' meant until you did that explanatory hand gesture.

Equally a cunt for her finance adverts. "I'm Carol Vorderman, I'm good at maths. That must mean, in your tiny, <reducing gesture> little minds that these people are trustworthy. They won't fleece you, honest."

Cunt. She also makes stupid hand gestures in that one, accompanied by some floating, friendly bubbles. That don't look anything like a CCJ, a repossession order, or a country sagging under the burden of £1000,000,000,000 of easy credit debt.

Oh god, I've opened the floodgates. I didn't want to post to this thread. Walk away...

non capisco

  • Don't wanna hear those vile trumpets anymore
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #41 on: October 21, 2004, 09:49:27 PM »
I see those daytime adverts for summer awnings, featuring the fella saying 'the controls are so simple even a dog can use them!' followed by shot of unconvincing 'paw' slamming down on said controls, are still going strong.

"Come on, (inset dog's name which I've forgotten here), you've *chuckles* made your point!"

That 'Yes!' car insurance ad (starring a deliriously happy blonde woman dressed a bit like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill Vol. 1 but with a green bodywarmer. "Yes!" is her catchphrase) is a fucking headache.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #42 on: October 21, 2004, 10:56:52 PM »
The dog was called Drummer.

That is all.

Suttonpubcrawl

  • ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #43 on: October 21, 2004, 11:06:13 PM »
Quote from: "non capisco"
That 'Yes!' car insurance ad (starring a deliriously happy blonde woman dressed a bit like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill Vol. 1 but with a green bodywarmer. "Yes!" is her catchphrase) is a fucking headache.


"Can I get a car on credit that starts work in the morning when Iiii dooooooo?"
"Yes, you could!"

That woman's voice is infuriating. Horrible adverts.

Krang

  • HeLLo iM GRANK! OoPpS LOLZ I MENT KRANG!
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #44 on: October 21, 2004, 11:06:51 PM »
I hate the Fabreeze advert with the dog. Like a dog gives a shit what the house smells like, he causes half the smells anyway.

I especially hate the one where he sprays his bed before that little girl dog comes round, then theyre lying in bed and hes got his leg over her, and it looks like theyve just had a gross day long session, and hes about 4 times bigger than her.

chand

  • "like Louise Mensch but with a sexy beard"
    • https://twitter.com/RopesToInfinity
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #45 on: October 21, 2004, 11:18:51 PM »
The advert for ICS is unbelievably irritating. It managed to annoy the crap out of me the FIRST time with its repetition, and it doesn't get any better.

'I see yes you can!'

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #46 on: October 21, 2004, 11:19:41 PM »
Quote from: "Muteki"
Look no further than Cillit Bang.


Someone was quick with this: http://www.cillitbang.co.uk/

This is the advert in German (I think) http://www.hamstern.at/hamstern/popup_spot_cillitbang.asp

falafel

  • Yes, blue.
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #47 on: October 21, 2004, 11:32:03 PM »
Quote from: "chand"
The advert for ICS is unbelievably irritating. It managed to annoy the crap out of me the FIRST time with its repetition, and it doesn't get any better.

'I see yes you can!'


Not unlike that old HSA one with the rabbit popping out of people's laundry shouting "Hey! Just say!"

There's no 'h' sound in H. It's "Aitch". Surely everyone knows that. And the rabbit was shit, too.

Actually, all the HSA ads I've seen have been shit. "Why are you waiting", anyone? Jesus. That made me want to rip my bollocks off and mail them to Paraguay.

Oh, and fuck any life insurance ad that takes the tack that "If you don't insure yourself with us, your kids will never forgive you!".
Inevitably accompanied by a shot of some miserable brat looking forlorn and lamenting that "Life just isn't the same without daddy, is it?"

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

  • A high powered mutant of some kind
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #48 on: October 22, 2004, 12:53:04 AM »
Insurance/ finance adverts are the zenith of bollocks. I especially hate the one with the squeaky voiced phone offering people loans. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't know that some fucker was given money for coming up with such a shit little character.
And that advert with the bloke and the woman discussing their car insurance and stopping at some cheap cafe. He acts all goofy and devil may care. She looks and acts old enough to be his mum. But the ad implies that they're involved in a sexual relationship.  The message is clear. That company won't refuse to insure even Oedipal fuckups.

Monkeyfucker

  • Goldentony Groupy #1, he's on TV!
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #49 on: October 22, 2004, 01:07:51 AM »
Ads that make my skin crawl...

River rock - water you wear.    reheeeaaaly?
Esther Rantzen - if youre in an accident you should claim, hosted to look like a chat show
Life insurance- Mummy takes care of  me and the house and makes me nice meals, daddy takes care of the garden and the car (how fiucking sexist to start with) but who  takes care of mummy and daddy
Pot noodle ads - it never has been and never will be sexy to eat these vile buckets of  flavoured monkey shit
Ive got the right - to buy my council house

I also hate ads that start out and dont in any way obviously represent the product they are advertising. Like it starts out and you think its about , fuck, shoes, and it turns out to be about dental fixture or something equally as lame.

One ad I like is the smirnoff one - Are you Brad? Im alex.

Monkeyfucker

  • Goldentony Groupy #1, he's on TV!
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #50 on: October 22, 2004, 01:13:29 AM »
And i am actually a cock. I sat and type a new version of that as I thought i lost it. Should call me dumbfucker. NOt monkeyfucker.

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #51 on: October 22, 2004, 11:08:15 PM »
I don't know if anyone has mentioned this,but that Walls susages ad that's almost a shot for shot pinch of the dog on speed scene in There's Something About Mary. The first time I saw it,I was quite taken aback by how cheeky it was.

Smackhead Kangaroo

  • Losing is always an option
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #52 on: October 23, 2004, 12:51:13 AM »
That dreadful loan ad populated by immensely ugly people (to appeal to the unwashed masses) with some enormous beast spouting "they're just friendly, normal people, they don't umm... babble you with science." I'll babble you alright you fleshy wart.

Does anyone else laugh when they see the smoke alarm advert ending in the husband (widower) sititng in his shitty little car looking at his frispy house trying to act like he's crying? That was great.

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #53 on: October 23, 2004, 08:13:27 PM »
Quote from: "The Reborn"
I don't know if anyone has mentioned this,but that Walls susages ad that's almost a shot for shot pinch of the dog on speed scene in There's Something About Mary. The first time I saw it,I was quite taken aback by how cheeky it was.

Adverts nicking stuff from films? Someone must be told!

Next you'll be telling me there are adverts based on ideas nicked off the internet...

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #54 on: October 23, 2004, 08:36:30 PM »
Quote from: "Monkeyfuck"
Ive got the right - to buy my council house

Yes, I especially like it when they remake an advert because they must think it's not working, only they do it with exactly the same script and actors who are worse than the originals.

Even though it's been mentioned at least three or four times now, that bastarding KitKat advert. You know which one, you can hear it from space. Very popular with my whole family that, by the looks of it.
Carol Vorderman and her promises of helping you to stop worrying about your 'annoying' credit debt.
That bleeding mobile network advert with the giant jellyfish and the dancing Japanese cowboys.

FUCK.    OFF.      AND.       DIE.
.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

  • A high powered mutant of some kind
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #55 on: October 23, 2004, 09:48:16 PM »
Those Levis adverts where the blokes try to pull girls with their stupid baggy jeans really get on my nerves. There's something really creepy about them.

Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #56 on: October 23, 2004, 10:27:59 PM »
Quote from: "Claude the Lion Tamer"
Those Levis adverts where the blokes try to pull girls with their stupid baggy jeans really get on my nerves. There's something really creepy about them.


Don't you think the twat on the bike in those sounds like the pervy old man in Family Guy?

Krang

  • HeLLo iM GRANK! OoPpS LOLZ I MENT KRANG!
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #57 on: October 23, 2004, 10:45:58 PM »
That Garnier Fructis advert, where the girl rips a handrail off the side of a cafe with her hair. i mean what the fuck?

Suttonpubcrawl

  • ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #58 on: October 23, 2004, 11:03:25 PM »
Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"
Quote from: "Monkeyfuck"
Ive got the right - to buy my council house

Yes, I especially like it when they remake an advert because they must think it's not working, only they do it with exactly the same script and actors who are worse than the originals.


I love those adverts! There's something joyfully low budget about them, and the bald man who asks if we have the right to buy our council house seems a friendly sort.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

  • A high powered mutant of some kind
Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are
« Reply #59 on: October 23, 2004, 11:29:11 PM »
Those Phones 4 You adverts make me want to kill the smug cunt in them.