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Rubbish adverts and how rubbish they are

Started by Jaffa The Cake, October 18, 2004, 09:20:33 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Silver SurferGhost

Quote from: "Suttonpubcrawl"
QuoteIve got the right - to buy my council house
I love those adverts! There's something joyfully low budget about them, and the bald man who asks if we have the right to buy our council house seems a friendly sort.
The first version was the best though, it was even worse. Especially the bloke who said "credit histrohhhhhh" instead of "credit history", and the  woman with the big cheesy grin.

Oh, what's that one with the big lumbering solicitor bloke trying to be friendly, "Have YOU had an accident?", that's the best advert ever made that one. I've got to try and catch that one on video before it disappears forever.
.

falafel

Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"[That bleeding mobile network advert with the giant jellyfish and the dancing Japanese cowboys.

I like that one. It's harmless fun.

[duck and cover]

falafel

Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"Oh, what's that one with the big lumbering solicitor bloke trying to be friendly, "Have YOU had an accident?", that's the best advert ever made that one. I've got to try and catch that one on video before it disappears forever.

PI Helpline? The big beefy guy with the floppy jowls? I half-expect him to stop talking English halfway through and start making stange grunts like the fat people in South Park.

"Have you blubber blubber blubber? Ribbit. Brahhaghagghg. Call PI Helpline now."

Silver SurferGhost

Quote from: "falafel"[duck and cover]
Ah, you've no need, not with my arthritis.
QuotePI Helpline? The bigh beefy guy with the floppy jowls?
That's him! I get the feeling they had to work really hard not to get him to add "...well if you haven't, I can arrange one for yer...". They had a go at remaking that ad in a more glossy and overtly *wacky* way that didn't work at all,  he seemed to have lost weight as well.
Thankfully they've junked that one and started showing the old one again.
.

foxprorawks

Another advert on Saturday night for a product with a strange name - "Oust".

It's some kind of air freshener, so I suppose it kind of makes sense.

Cambrian Times

Quote from: "foxprorawks"Another advert on Saturday night for a product with a strange name - "Oust".

It's some kind of air freshener, so I suppose it kind of makes sense.

Surely that should read, "...so I suppose it kind of makes scents"

Suttonpubcrawl

Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"Oh, what's that one with the big lumbering solicitor bloke trying to be friendly, "Have YOU had an accident?", that's the best advert ever made that one. I've got to try and catch that one on video before it disappears forever.
.

Ooh, that reminds me of that truly horrendous advert where they had a man from one of those injury lawyer firms being interviewed on a "lie detector". The people doing the interview were the most annoying people on the face of this earth and the woman spoke with some truly bizarre inflections, while the injury lawyer was a smug cunt. At the end of the ad he says to one of the interviewers "nice tie" and the lie detector goes mad. Har har, hilarious joke. This ad was eventually pulled and replaced with an ad featuring a more trustworthy and less smug-cuntish rep, and less annoying interviewers.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

Quotefoxprorawks wrote:
Another advert on Saturday night for a product with a strange name - "Oust".

It's some kind of air freshener, so I suppose it kind of makes sense.


QuoteSurely that should read, "...so I suppose it kind of makes scents"

Ba dum dum tssh.

(them's drum sounds by the way)

Silver SurferGhost

Quote from: "foxprorawks"
Another advert on Saturday night for a product with a strange name - "Oust".
There's a new one for an air freshener, one of those dubbed foreign jobs. Is it that one? I've only seen it the once, and I can't see it lasting much longer, as it squirts out a jet of perfume or suchlike, and this kid goes "MMMMM! Sniff that puff!".
Well I mean, really.
.

Monkeyfucker

Quote from: "Claude the Lion Tamer"Those Phones 4 You adverts make me want to kill the smug cunt in them.

Hahahaha those ads bring me great pleasure and amusement. I personally find it hilarious to do the annying thing with my hand "Phones for you " much to the complete and utter bafflement of my friends. I think its even smarter to  Say annoyingly "Its got a riiiinnnnng to it"

Advertising genius.Insert geeky smiley here.

falafel

Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"
Quote from: "foxprorawks"
Another advert on Saturday night for a product with a strange name - "Oust".
There's a new one for an air freshener, one of those dubbed foreign jobs. Is it that one? I've only seen it the once, and I can't see it lasting much longer, as it squirts out a jet of perfume or suchlike, and this kid goes "MMMMM! Sniff that puff!".
Well I mean, really.
.

Naah, that's the new Glade ad. It is a bit rubbish though. Imagine the domestic scenario:

QuoteGuest: I hear you've got one of those new electric air fresheners - you know, the ones where you can actually see the puff?
Homeowner: Well, I don't like to brag...

Oh, and there's the badly dubbed advert for a (clearly Eastern European) Squeegee type thing that I haven't seen for a while - "That's because it's without a mop, Jane", or something - you know the one.

Monkeyfucker

Does anyone remember the Shake and Vac ad?

Do the shake and vac and put the freshness back

Do the shake and vac and put the freshness back

If your carpet smells fresh, your room does tooo-ooo-oooo

Every time you vacuum, remember what to do

You

Put

the

How the fuck did I remember al the words?

Krang

That won "The best advert of all time" i think, one of those channel 4 all time countdowns.

(It either won, or came 2nd behind the Guiness advert with the surfers/waves/horses/tick/tock/tick/tock)

Anyway, after that it seemed to spark some kind of fashion, that cheesy adverts are the best ones. So everyones trying to get the next  Shake 'n' Vac. Doesnt seem to be working very well, just a load of shit adverts.

Who remembers that Pot Noodle advert with Roger Black? and he chases after the car and theres that guy shouting "SILVER SIIIILVER" out the window, holding a pot noodle.

I liked that ad :)

Monkeyfucker

Quote from: "foxprorawks"Another advert on Saturday night for a product with a strange name - "Oust".

It's some kind of air freshener, so I suppose it kind of makes sense.

yes they say something gay like "Oust the smell out"

NO offence meant  to homosexuals or the like.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: "Silver SurferGhost"Yes, I especially like it when they remake an advert because they must think it's not working, only they do it with exactly the same script and actors who are worse than the originals.
I remember years ago they re-made the Salon Selectives ad and changed it so the woman pronounced the word "salon" in the English way rather than the American way, but with the same script and set and everything (they might have even just dubbed it.).  It sounded shit and it was only on for around 1 day then they changed it back.

The one ad I hate is the one with a woman with a silly voice saying "Oooooooh Danone."  What the frigging fuck is Danone?  It's such an annoying advert I don't know what it is.  Ah I remembered, it's some sort of yogurt with "friendly bacteria" or something.  That's an annoying ad.

And what's with the renaming of products.  Fabreze beecame Febreze.  Errr... Why?
Fabreze made sense, as it eases the smells in fabric. So why change it?  Fuckwits.

Then there's Jif, changed to Cif which they pronounce as "siff" like it's some sort of venereal disease.  Normally names get changed to bring them in line with what they're named in other countries.  All across Eastern Europe Jif is called Cif, with a little v-shaped accent over the c.  It's a hard c so the pronunciation sounds something like "chiff", which is closer to Jif than bloody Siff.

We had to change our Marathon because the yanks called it Snickers.  Now have a look what the yanks are doing. Clicky.

Monkeyfucker

I do like the Ad - Yaris cars I think.

keys in a bowl, typical wife swap scenario. No one wants the fat bird until they realise she holds the key to the yaris.

*chuckles*

Silver SurferGhost

"I'm Martin Kemp, or possibly his brother Gary (I forget myself now) and I'm really happy to be the new face of these crappy furniture ads, because it's not like I ever had a career in Pop or a part in a top Soap, or anything. Just look at the velour on this sofa."
.

Monkeyfucker


slim

Quote from: "Monkeyfucker"One word - Linda Barker.
Isn't that tw...

Hang on, my spidersense tells me I'm stumbling into some sort of comedy trap. I am prepared for my ridicule.

Ciarán2

There was a quote from Pamela Flood (a model/tv presenter) on rte.ie...

"If there is one thing I like to spend my money on, it's clothes and shoes."

http://www.rte.ie/tv/offtherails/presenters.html

Monkeyfucker

Quote from: "slim"
Quote from: "Monkeyfucker"One word - Linda Barker.
Isn't that tw...

Hang on, my spidersense tells me I'm stumbling into some sort of comedy trap. I am prepared for my ridicule.

Go go spider sense.

Anyway she furking irritates the life out of me.

Cerys

And who can blame you?  Irritating bintage that she is.  I hear she's in line for a Vorderman Ubiquity Prize.  Maybe it'll explode, engulfing both her and the Vorderman in a (forgive me) hellish fireball, and the world will be saved.

slim

Quote from: "Monkeyfucker"Anyway she furking irritates the life out of me.
Also me. I find any celebrity endorsements painfully embarrassing to watch. The very idea that they a) believe in their own celebrity and b) are prepared to sell that part of them for a shitty product is amazing to me.

David Semen equally for those awful Currys (I think) adverts during the football this summer. The worst one though, has to be Steve Redgrave, who, in his advert, actually acknowledges his failing as a celebrity whilst flogging a product on the basis of it at the same time:

"Hi, I'm Steve Redgrave..."

You have to tell us? Then obviously you're not famous enough to advertise a product. Oh wait, you're a step up (or down) from a parrot in the Admiral advertising hierarchy... you obviously have no idea what self-respect is.

Cerys

Quote from: "slim"I find any celebrity endorsements painfully embarrassing to watch.

I know what you mean.  Except for Thora Hird touting stair-lifts.  At least it was likely that she used the product, instead of just being paid to sing its praises.

Bogey

Nah, I bet her house was Stannahed to fuck.
None of that second-rate Churchill's bollocks for that dead dame.

Ambient Sheep

It's actually a very GOOD advert, but I notice that the Grolsch "aliens" advert now no longer ends with 4/5ths of the Close Encounters motif.  I guess they finally got their wrists slapped...

Bollock Chops

I saw the most bizarre advert the other day. It was on during the making of that film 'Dead Man's Shoes' on Channel 4. The ad itself was about two or three minutes long, and it was for one of those dodgy spray-on hair products. There were several sportsmen in it (Graham Gooch was one, can't remember the others, some of them were rugby players). It was so awful I actually thought it was a pisstake clip from some new comedy show. Did anyone else see this?

Also, why do disgusting ads always come on when I'm having my tea? Especially that one with the little kid on the shitter saying "Pooh, that really smells!". I almost start gagging when I see that, I can almost smell his business. Or that anti-smoking one, where all the fat is being squeezed out of the snouts.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

Oh christ that hair advert just wouldn't end. I thought for a minute that I had been sucked into some kind of Armando Ianucci style TV hell.

neveragain

Quote from: "Bogey"Nah, I bet her house was Stannahed to fuck.
None of that second-rate Churchill's bollocks for that dead dame.

I'm sure she advertised Churchill's but I'm not sure.

Cerys

Quote from: "Bollock Chops"Also, why do disgusting ads always come on when I'm having my tea? Especially that one with the little kid on the shitter saying "Pooh, that really smells!". I almost start gagging when I see that, I can almost smell his business. Or that anti-smoking one, where all the fat is being squeezed out of the snouts.

Sneaky timing on the part of the advertisers - it pretty much guarantees that you'll notice the advert.  Ditto the ones that you hate.  It doesn't matter that you don't like them; what's important is that they make a mark.