LEGEND GARY

[Steven]

Legend Gary ends up 'larging it' in a nightclub in Doncaster, great night, felt up three different birds on the dancefloor and ends up in a toilet cubicle snorting lines of coke with Simon Bodger off of Bodger & Badger who's 'a right laugh'.

[dark now my pies]

Legend Gary walks up to a man in a turban and demands to know why he committed 9/11 and why he hasn't said sorry yet.

[Steven]

Legend Gary is arrested in the basement of the Burj Khalifa by Dubai police, caught with a toaster stuffed with Semtex shouting that he had to bring it down because it's 'What Lady Di would have wanted!'

[BlodwynPig]

A 72 year old Legend Gary, still smiling, still wanking, downs a warm can of Fosters. "Largin' it, Ethel"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

No-one had ever put a traffic cone on that statue's head before.


Thank Legend Gary

[madhair60]

Lads stroll past Chicken Cottage, sign now defaced to read C__ck__ _______.

In unison: "Legend Gary".

[madhair60]

"If he ever come near my kids I'd fucking kill him" says Legend Gary of a local sex offender.

"I'd gouge his fucking eyes out" he drools.

[madhair60]

A tearful woman describes to a news reporter how she was unable to find her son in the fire.

In the background, noticing the camera, Legend Gary feigns a wank.

[Steven]

Legend Gary interrupts a news woman's sombre live report about bombing in the middle-east to shout the phrase "Fuck her right in the pussy!" and gets several pints bought for him down his local by all his laughing mates who can't talk about anything else all night.

[Blinder Data]

Legend Gary volunteers at the local after-school club - so he can scope out which of the girls will be fitties when they turn 16

haha ledge ;)

[madhair60]

Legend Gary volunteers at the local Barnardo's.

Joking!  He doesn't do anything.

[madhair60]

You return to your home town after 15 years.  Pissy Steve's a teacher now, and Brown Baz - Bartholemew's Funeral Homes.

Legend Gary remains Legend Gary.

[madhair60]

Legend Gary is lowered into the ground.  "Fartbox" Harry Eggsman barges past the vicar, face streaming.

"He was a legend" he cries

"A fucking legend"

[madhair60]

Legend Gary comes back from Syria.  He's the same.

[Blinder Data]

If Legend Gary is in a very good mood or in a very bad mood, he will only communicate via emojis.

[Beagle 2]

In a moving eulogy Pubes Daz tells the story of the time Legend Gary picked up a copy of The Pelican Brief on VHS from the local Barnardo's but switched the video inside for Mike Reid's Pussy in Boots 25p smashed it.

It's not even Legend Gary's funeral.

[madhair60]

Legend Gary's Tuborg can pyramid dwarfs the actual Great Pyramid.  Proper Giza.

[Steven]

Legend Gary promises two starving tramps in Middlesborough a £20 note to the winner of whoever knocks the other spark out first, he watches them awkwardly fight while giggling and sniffing lines of coke off a dustbin, when one tramp successfully batters the other one and approaches him for his prize, Legend Gary kicks him violently in the bollocks and walks away laughing like a drain and thinking of American Psycho.

[non capisco]

Legend Gary repeatedly refers to his penis as 'Excalibur'. 

[madhair60]

Legend Gary does a Fonz at himself in the mirror.

[madhair60]

Legend Gary intentionally disables the lift to force his brother to confront his wife's miscarriage. Then he pounds a thick fart. His tearful brother, smiling, concedes that it is minging.

[finnquark]

Legend Gary tells the lads they were 'fucking unlucky' and 'the better team' in the changing rooms, having just lost 9-0.

[Blinder Data]

Legend Gary bets Pubes Daz £10 he can knock himself out with one punch.

He misses his temple and he hits himself in the eye with his fist.

Legend Gary doesn't feel so great. They phone 999 and he eventually passes out in the ambulance on the way to A+E.

He now has less than 50% vision in his left eye and and it's permanently discoloured.

"Got the tenner though, well worth it," beams Legend Gary, to his occupational therapist.

[Vodka Margarine]

Legend Gary promises two starving tramps in Middlesborough a £20 note to the winner of whoever knocks the other spark out first, he watches them awkwardly fight while giggling and sniffing lines of coke off a dustbin, when one tramp successfully batters the other one and approaches him for his prize, Legend Gary kicks him violently in the bollocks and walks away laughing like a drain. He's never even heard of American Psycho.

[Beagle 2]

There were no dwarf strippers available for Legend Gary's mate's stag so he hired one with severe learning difficulties.

[Steven]

Legend Gary goes for an enjoyable walk on the Downs, cos he hates 'spazzers'.

[poo]

Legend Gary hit 50 off 2 overs

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Legend Gary, doing that thing where you go to give something to someone, but pull your hand away at the last second and go 'wheyyy!' - but too many times to be funny.

Legend Gary, a really shite mural of Ronnie & Reggie sprayed on the back of his van.

Legend Gary, texting his bit on the side whilst his missus goes into labour.

[batwings]

Legend Gary was a Royal Marine in the Parachute Regiment.

Legend Gary bought a flat panel TV by LG just so he could do the 'monogrammed just for me' gag, which he does every fucking time anyone comes over.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I love you all.