LEGEND GARY

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary loves a "ledge thru" where he totally rinses the "speaker monkey" taking the order, then mocks the personal appearance of the "server asian" at the hatch.

They grin and bear it because of zero hour contracts. Seriously, this has never been reported once.

[Glebe]

Gary pops a rotten onion in the micro. Self-sufficient, that's Gary!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary sits around making up forfeits when nothing else is going on.

Drinks a fish tank

[Glebe]

Legend Gary does nothing, in protest at being an offensive stereotype of a 'chav'.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary annoys a lot of working class people with his arrogant behaviour. He may be working class, middle class or upper class. Who cares?

[I.D. Smith]

Gary receives a 7 day notice of cancellation letter from his insurance company for refusing to email a scanned copy of his V5 documents to the underwriters. In a fit of pique he cancels all his Direct Debits and then takes his Fiesta ST up the motorway for a 110mph "rage drive"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary reckons if he murdered someone he'd not fuck it up like that cock eyed twat on the telly

Takes 21 years until he is empirically disproven.

The judge disagrees it was "a matter of honour therefore I cannot be sentenced under the law of natural justice"

[Beagle 2]

Legend Gary stumbles across a four-page analytical discussion about the make up and intent of his character on a Chris Morris forum he found googling paedo jokes.

Tries to tell the lads at five-a-side later on as he wheezes through the game and passes ping around him in neat triangles.

"...smashed a four-page thread on... MAN ON...."
"...load of nerds on about me saying I'm a FOUL FUCKING FOUL..."
"...divisive character but definitely a stone cold lege AW FUCK OFF DEAN YOU DON'T EVEN DRINK..."

[Glebe]

Legend Gary is a commoner. A typically uneducated working-class THUG.

[gatchamandave]

Legend Gary has the suspension in his Clio dropped, and buys a nitrous injector from eBay after watching FaF for the third time.

Then he can't get it out The Estate because of all them f***ing speed bumps at  the entrance. Spends the rest of the day doing doughnuts in the Crematorium car park.

[Glebe]

It turns out that Daz's great-grandfather was a millionaire tycoon with connections to royalty.

[dex]

It turns out that Daz's great-grandfather was a millionaire tycoon with connections to royalty.

Not too big of a descendant to receive a world famous Legend Gary Chinese burn! Come here, cunt!

[buttgammon]

"If this global warming thing is real, why's it so cold?" The only thing colder than the air is the response of everyone Gary repeats this joke to.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Then he can't get it out The Estate because of all them f***ing speed bumps at  the entrance. Spends the rest of the day doing doughnuts in the Crematorium car park.

Finds a great 'shortcut', involving driving through the front garden of a terrified curtain twitcher.

Starts off by saying "sorry love wrong turn" as he drives by, then when that gets wearing after the first few months changes it to "shouldn't have put the garden there anyway, this is the law of natural justice".

[madhair60]

Legend Gary stumbles back in time and interrupts the cessation of slavery, causing it to remain commonplace to this day.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary vapes on a plane

"We don't allow that sir please could you stop"

"Pff alright love chill out"

Keeps going of course. It's that really shit one that smells like a fart after a stem ginger enema.

[spamwangler]

Ledgend Gary has GREGGS for dinner because he is LOWER CLASS hahahahahah what a POOR cunt lol

[spamwangler]

Legend Gary is a commoner. A typically uneducated working-class THUG.

now youre talking my language. Its basic genetics inni? poor = thug. get a degree you fucking chump

[madhair60]

Legend Gary leaps into the cinema screen to "deck" Captain America.

[asids]

If Legend Gary was Scottish:

Legend Rab giving Eddie Jones abuse: https://twitter.com/danroan/status/969107662729334784

[Sebastian Cobb]

Legend Gary vapes on a plane

"We don't allow that sir please could you stop"

"Pff alright love chill out"

Keeps going of course. It's that really shit one that smells like a fart after a stem ginger enema.

Takes his phone out of airplane mode to tell the whatsapp group how he 'just went Don Logan' on the plane.

[spamwangler]

Legend Gary vapes on a plane

"We don't allow that sir please could you stop"

"Pff alright love chill out"

Keeps going of course. It's that really shit one that smells like a fart after a stem ginger enema.

had it with these motherfucking vapes on this motherfucking plane

[Huxleys Babkins]

"It didn't do me any harm. It's my tribute to the original legends, Daz. It's what they would have wanted."

Just 14 hours after that fateful conversation, Legend Gary is led away in handcuffs after he's spotted distributing a selection of dog-eared, late 90's pornographic magazines into the bushes behind the local primary school. Having argued his case for quite some time with the arresting officer, his sorrow is not for himself but for the poor lads who won't "get a proper shove toward manhood like I had."

[Ferris]

Ledge downs a pint. And another please, barman!

[Ferris]

My phone auto corrects "barman" to "Batman". Fucks sake.

[Glebe]

Ledge sips a Kir Royale and cancels tomorrow's appointment with Daz at the local. It's the races on Sunday and he wants to arrive at Ascot feeling fresh as a daisy.

[spamwangler]

Legend O'Gary is feeling nostalgic

"do you remember robbing subsequently destroying that Lidl last year Daz?"






















Legend gary makes 80,000 a year after taxes

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary writes a rude word on Pubes Daz' aunt's car in the snow.

[dex]

Ledge hates metal with a passion, but insists on having a one man mosh in libraries, community centres and supermarkets.

[Glebe]

Legend Gary dons his topper and heads out on the town, with Dapper Daz waering top-to-tails in tow!