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March 28, 2024, 05:52:51 PM

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LEGEND GARY

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, February 09, 2016, 11:19:54 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Glebe

Ledge watches Sky News for five hours and ends up decking Daz in a fit of fury. "They're coming into my country, bombing my kids!"

Beagle 2

Quote from: Glebe on March 20, 2018, 05:25:00 AM
"Do you believe in aliens, Daz?"

"Of course, Ledge! Just look at the amount of footage on YouTube. The evidence is overwhelming."

"But do Aliens believe in Gary?"
"Haha"
"Seriously though"
"What?"
"Do you think they know?"
"About you?"
"All the funny shit I do"
"Well..."
"I'd like to think they do"
"How would they know?"
"A lot of it's on YouTube, Fat Munter Patrol, Testes Kick (Pontefract), Can U Smell Curry, all that great content just flying through space"
"So you're saying... the legend goes beyond?"
"Beyond our world"
"Fuck a pony"
"Mindboggling"
"You're quite deep when you're stoned"
"I'm not stoned"
"What you smoking"
"Dill"
"Legend"


JoeyBananaduck

Quote from: dex on March 20, 2018, 08:13:27 AM
Ledge goes off script on the call and manages to get in a barbed "Pinko Cunt" to Vine before "technical difficulties" end the contact.

Ironically a duplication of the exact incident that ended his Vine account in 2015. He never did get an ITV2 contract out of it.

Glebe

Quote from: JoeyBananaduck on March 20, 2018, 01:38:16 PM
Ironically a duplication of the exact incident that ended his Vine account in 2015. He never did get an ITV2 contract out of it.

Five almost gave him his own series, though.

dex

Ledge gorges on Monster Munch whilst reading a court summons with the magistrates.

"It doesn't even look like spunk" argues Daz as he tries to clean the Tipp-Ex out of his jeans.

"I'd be saying that if I'd spunked myself" laughs Ledge. £2 well spent.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: dex on March 20, 2018, 09:06:21 PM
Legend Gary gorges on Monster Munch whilst reading a court summons with the magistrates.

Laughed

Glebe

Daz hands Gary the empty Lenore bottle. "Down in one!"

"Heh, I'll get the stomach pump!"

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Glebe

"Can I come out now, Ledge?"

"Not 'til you suffocate or start crying, Daz."

dex

Ledge ram raids his local Costcutter with a BMX.

Hobo With A Shit Pun


Legend Gary maintains civilized respect between men through the implicit communication of violence.

He stands up straight, and cleans his room*.


* Well, that pile of Kleenex stuck to him as he was walking out the door, but that counts.

Beagle 2

Legend Gary ruins another smoothie maker with dry roasted peanuts and skol.


Glebe

Filling Special Brew cans with piss to be tossed off an overhang onto a busy thoroughfare below is one the few pleasures remaining in life for Ledge, "for I have grown weary of much and there is little besides that does not fill me with a sense of ennui, Daz. Sigh."

Glebe

'Chestnuts' Phil sells Gary an iPhone for £50. It "fell off the back off an Apple truck."

greenman

When he gets older losing his hair
Just a few years from now
Will you still be avoiding him like a swine
Daily beatings, cheap bottle of wine

If he'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door
Will you still heed him, will you still bleed on him
When Gary's reached page sixty-four

Steven

And when Legend Gary saw the breadth of the high street, he wept for there were no more living pigeons to conquer.

Glebe

Gary lobs his PS4 controller at Daz's face, rupturing the lip and breaking the nose.

"Fuckin' prick... what you do that for?"

"Top laffs!"

Shoulders?-Stomach!

For us, the rape alarm is a mundane and functional item, for Legend Gary, it is the basis for an entire evening out.

Bum Flaps

The Guide Dogs for the Blind charity collection dog patiently stands guard outside the Post Office. Legend Gary is cheerfully pissing through its coin slot...it is 11:30am.

Later that evening Daz is blackmailed into taking a dump on an RNLI collection boat, but it ends badly when he is severely beaten by an angry partially sighted fisherman.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary yoinks a Palestinian Aid collection box, feels pretty full too.

Cheers for the donation to Garity everyone

Hobo With A Shit Pun

As Gary always says "Charity Begins At No Homo".

dex

Legend Gary is in stitches when a midget falls over in the indoor market.

dex

Another trip to the doctor for the Ledge.

"Well, Gary. It looks like you have got phimosis."


Hobo With A Shit Pun

Quote from: dex on March 28, 2018, 04:27:23 PM

"Well, Gary. It looks like you have got phimosis."

Not just a  massive Bellend?

Sebastian Cobb

Ledge goes to Thailand. And then the GUM clinic.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-43571120

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary invites a member of the UK Border Force to "pull my finger".


dex

Ledge is fuming that Twitter had banned Tommy Robinson -cos he wasn't even trying anymore. "MY tweets are way more racist and bigoted. Where's my notoriety?!"

Howj Begg

Gaz begins posting to a message board of "poofs who like old sitcoms" in a barely legible style. "Haha, this'll wind em up rotten! Fucking p**i lovers." he snickers.

Neville Chamberlain

Legend Gary has been ill for two weeks with the flu. Legend Gary hears that Bargain Booze is going out of business. Legend Gary makes joke on FB that the fact he hasn't drunk alcohol since being ill is the reason why Bargain Booze is going out of business. Invites lots of "lols" from his equally legendary mates.