LEGEND GARY

[Glebe]

Gary eats a bath sponge, believing it to be a sort of cake.

[New Jack]

Legend Gary is not answering the door or the phone this father's day - you know how much he's been around!!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary swears he saw one of his cums the other day.

[king_tubby]

Gonna fuck those harissa bastards right up, Daz. Fuck 'em right up.

Harissa? Wassat?

Well, Darfield, harissa is a Maghrebi hot chilli pepper paste, the main ingredients of which are roasted red peppers, Baklouti (بقلوطي) pepper, serrano peppers, and other hot chilli peppers, spices and herbs such as garlic paste, coriander seed, saffron, rose, or caraway, as well as some vegetable or olive oil for preservation. It is most closely associated with Tunisia, Libya, Algeria, and Morocco and Syria. Harissa is sometimes described as "Tunisia's main condiment", even "the national condiment of Tunisia", or at least as "the hallmark of Tunisia's fish and meat dishes". In Tunisia, harissa is used as an ingredient in a meat (poultry, beef, goat or lamb) or fish stew with vegetables, and as a flavouring for couscous. It is also used for lablabi, a chickpea soup usually eaten for breakfast.

Can't you just say 'camel fuckers' next time, Legend?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary went to Tunisia once but sadly, Lords and Ladies of the public house, it was full of foreigns.

[seepage]

he was well up for some lablabi but: "poached egg?, no mate, not 'aving that"

[Glebe]

Gary has gone football loopy, and in-between World Cup matches grabs his burst football and heads out onto the road for a kickabout. It's Gaz getting kicked about though, not the ball.

[king_tubby]

Legend Gary's application to join the Metropolitan Police has succeeded.

At the bottom of the official acceptance letter there's a scrawled handwritten addendum - 'wot took u so long mate'

[Glebe]

Gary tosses a stale Greggs at a gypsy.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

https://www.facebook.com/753780959/posts/2104640723108525/

Huge one

Daz duz Gaz

[Glebe]

"On the 'ead, Daz."

A Stella can flies between the jumpers-for-goalposts.

[Glebe]

Ledge and Daz go to the zoo.

"Look! Look, Daz, an elephant!"

"Nah, sod that, I'm off to see the macaques, Ledge."

"What's a macaques?"

"You does not know what a macaque is, Ledge? It is a types of monkey."

"Ah yeah. They're Asian, aren't they, monkeys? I didn't know they had people in a zoo as well as the animals and that."

"Right, see you later, Ledge. Bye."

[Glebe]

"Here Daz, if there's so many people in the world, and lots of 'em are living in dire poverty and that, does that mean we're actually pretty prosperous, relatively speaking?"

"Ah stop talking bollocks, Ledge. And pass us another tube of them sour cream and onion Pringles, mate."

[Fishfinger]

Legend Gary throws a spanner in The Works.

[New Jack]

What a fuckin LEDGE

Just got a KFC Deliverood - to the Uber he was in! And didn't even have to leave a tip

[Bum Flaps]

Gary's climbed into a chest freezer at Iceland, and buried himself under bags of peas, ready to leap out. He suffers severe hypothermia after his nan doesn't do her Wednesday shopping trip at the usual time.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Ledge cuts a hole in the back of his bumbag and sticks his cock through it to surprise the steward during his festival inspection.

Didn't plan on it being a big bloke, much to the amusement of Daz.

Later, Daz's tent mysteriously gets destroyed in the night.

[Glebe]

"Daz, come down here this instant! There's dog doo all over the hallway!"

"Sorry Dad, be down now!"

"*snort*... what was that, Daz?"

"Go back to sleep, Ledge. It's just me dad's pissed off cos the dog did it's business in the hallway."

"Oh, that was me, Daz. That was a heavy session last night. Sorry."

"Oh for fuck... well, you better keep out of the way and not cause any more trouble."

"No prob, Daz, I'm under the bed anyway. See you in the late afternoon. Have a fry ready for us, mate, would you? And a six pack of Stella."

[Bum Flaps]

Gary's got himself totally smashed tonight trying to finish off the last of those fancy Belgian heritage beers that Daz gave him for his birthday.
"I'm not having that Belgian shite in the house for the big match...Stellas only for me tomorrow!"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary with the old pouring cooking oil on a snoozing sunbathing mate

Legend Gary with the old branding them with a potato masher

Legend Gary with the old final reminder for unpaid gas bill

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary with the old ragging friend's sisters car around the block to see how well it responds to a Legend raping

Legend Gary with the old message from Grandma, Gary I haven't heard from you for a long while

[dex]

Ledge goose steps Basil Fawlty style through the estate shouting abuse at everyone in celebration of Germany's shock world cup exit.

[Glebe]

"GERMANY KNOCKED OUT! ENG-ER-LAND! EN-GER-LAND!"

"Come come, now, Daz. Let's not be triumphalist. After all, we could be joining them shortly."

"Ah, fuck off, Ledge! I prefer the old you, the ignorant, loud-mouthed, thuggish, you! Not this new-fangled mimsy!"

"Fair enough, Daz. Get ready for a smashing."

"Ooh, crikey!"

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Legend Gary volleys a dead vole off the side of a phonebox. Fucking wallop.

[dex]

Ledge sticks a dog turd into a McDonalds paper bag, folds the top over and places it onto Mr Nazir's front step. Next he lights it and knocks loudly on the door. An oldie but a goodie!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

MMMM GLAND

MMMGGG LAAAANNNNNNDDD

Yes brain damaged Legend Gary, M Gland.

[New Jack]

Legend Gary volleys a dead vole off the side of a phonebox. Fucking wallop.

Cmon Daz, on the head mate

[king_tubby]

Gary with an excellent follow through there. He's playing golf, obviously.

Shits in the 12th hole, mind. 'Tradition, Daz'.

[Chollis]

Legend Gary has blood in his stool. Back to korma next week, he thinks to himself.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary has blood in his stool. Back to korma next week, he thinks to himself.

After concern/physical abuse from his compadres he announces "I'll just man up and shite my way through it"

His quiet agony continues for weeks.