LEGEND GARY

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Country went long ago
Days are gone
Days are gone geezer

Tumour Chris isn't sure about that - he turns around.

"No he's not, he's sat over there".

[dex]

Ledge chucks an unopened Fray Bentos into Pubes Daz's microwave and sets it to 5 mins.

[Ferris]

Ledge chucks an unopened Fray Bentos into Pubes Daz's microwave and sets it to 5 mins.

Hasta la vista, Fray-B!

[Glebe]

Ledge rams Chupa Chups up Daz's nostrils and makes him sit on the 'Sad Stool' while the rest of the lads enjoy today's World Cup match with Stella.

[dex]

Hasta la vista, Fray-B!

+1 Karma! Good work.

[Paul Calf]

Gary and Daz spend the evening booting crows into the canal.

"Cheating foreign bastards."

[Beagle 2]

Miscommunication leads to Legend Gary getting a massive tattoo of Prince Harry smoking a reefer on his back instead of Harry Kane.

He's made up.

[dex]

"Daz! Remember Hale & Pace? Let's to the Stonk!"

"Nah, Gaz -Oh God! It stinks of shit!"

"The stink it is then, Daz! It never gets old. Ha ha ha!"

[dex]

Ledge has fucked the world cup off to watch all of Steven Segall's films back to back.

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Legend Gary is a twat-mad mad twat.

[Glebe]

"Tch, the fucking French have done it again!"

"Yeah, football's "going home" to Paris, Ledge!"

"Yeah. Er, can't think of anything funny to say in this post."

[Fisher Goes Berserk]

'Lost something, Daz?'

'No... no.'

Four hours later, the emergency plumber hands Daz a bill for £320 and the shit-stained college application form that had caused the damage.

[Kryton]

LEGEND GARY livestreams himself burning down a paediatrician's office.  Spends 6 hours in A+E. Ledge.

[Fisher Goes Berserk]

Legend Gary does an autobiographical redraft of The Killers' 'Human', and records himself singing it against a cheap karaoke track. Makes an accompanying literal video out of heavily compressed jpgs and photos of his own arse.

'ARE WE LEGEND OR ARE WE GARY'

Three days' work. His proudest achievement.

It is removed from YouTube for obscene content precisely eight minutes after upload.

[Glebe]

Ledge and Daz are watching an 'unexplained mysteries' show on Discovery.

"I once saw a real draclea, Ledge."

"Fuck's sake Daz, there's no such thing! Having said that, I did once glimpse a medusa down the market. I had a mirror handy, so I was okay."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

ARE WE LEGEND OR ARE WE GARY'

Laughed

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Look, I'll drive in France alright, but I'm doing it on the left. They can just fucking deal with it.

Sure you are mate. Sure you are.

[Fisher Goes Berserk]

Legend Gary steals a 3/4 size classical guitar from the Age Concern shop.

Wonderwall.

[Better Midlands]

Look, I'll drive in France alright, but I'm doing it on the left. They can just fucking deal with it.

Sure you are mate. Sure you are.

La Manche, La-fucking-Manche!!!

[Hecate]

Call the lawyers - https://store.steampowered.com/app/688070/Legendary_Gary/

[New Jack]

The Leg has spent the morning practicing his varied menangerie of mong noises.

NYUUUUH! SPUUUH! PLLLLLTPLT! YAAAAAA! NGhmmmm

This afternoon, he might put in a few hours into the artful craft of s*****c arm movements while trying to lick your own ears.

[Glebe]

"I've got a few quid going spare, Daz. I reckon I should be sensible for once and put some money by... as my de facto financial advisor, what do you think?"

"Why don't you do a treat y'self and buy something nice? A new laptop or summit?"

"Yeah, that would... EH?! What the fuck is 'do a treat y'self'?"

"Heh, oh yeah, that's my little thing I say for when I decide to splurge, like if I'm bored, I'll go 'I think I'll do a treat meself and get a new game for me PS4' or whatever."

"That's brilliant Daz! I'm having that! I think I'll do a treat meself and buy that fucking laptop!"

"Now you're among the pigeons, Gary!"

"EH?!"

[New Jack]

Although not prone to admiration of linguistics, Gary has come over all a-flutter at the direct, exact, beautifully curt and evocative adjective 'knobjockey'.

If these 135 whatsapps to Daz get any funnier, then Gary'll be a knobjockey's uncle (he also sent the same stuff to his nephew)

[Fisher Goes Berserk]

Legend Gary drained that canal in Wiltshire, but not before draining his bladder into it.

On his way home he kicked four ducks and made a vegan cry.

Absolute result.

[Sebastian Cobb]

GARY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-kills-seagull-after-stole-12950988

[Fisher Goes Berserk]

GARY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-kills-seagull-after-stole-12950988

I knew that would be in Weston-super-Mare before I'd even clicked the link.

[Paul Calf]

Despite spending a lot of time on the seafront, Rachael said it was the worst gull-related incident she had ever seen.

[Sebastian Cobb]

actual lol

[a duncandisorderly]

Call the lawyers - https://store.steampowered.com/app/688070/Legendary_Gary/

"Legendary Gary is bizarre and gorgeous and everything I've been looking for. You play as Gary. He's not really that legendary. Gary's story probably hits close to home for most of us. He lives a boring, average life..."

say, aren't there a couple of "developers" on C&B?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Leisure Suit Gary