LEGEND GARY

[Glebe]

Gary and Daz's new routine; Daz calls round at 2PM, they begin their Fortnite marathon. 4PM, break for Pot Noodles, e-cig puffs. Play on through 'til 8PM and the evening meal, Tesco micro meal of some description. 10PM, crack open a few Stellas. The session ends at 4AM, when they both curl up in a ball on their respective sofas to sleep. 12PM, Daz pops home to reassure his parents he is not missing or dead.  2PM, rinse and repeat.

[Ferris]

Gary and Daz's new routine; Daz calls round at 2PM, they begin their Fortnite marathon. 4PM, break for Pot Noodles, e-cig puffs. Play on through 'til 8PM and the evening meal, Tesco micro meal of some description. 10PM, crack open a few Stellas. The session ends at 4AM, when they both curl up in a ball on their respective sofas to sleep. 12PM, Daz pops home to reassure his parents he is not missing or dead.  2PM, rinse and repeat.

This sounds massive (though sub another game in for fortnite)

[Glebe]

This sounds massive (though sub another game in for fortnite)

I'm not too au fait with the latest games, haven't played Fortnite but I know it's popular. One of you crazy kids will have fill something more appropriate in!

[Ferris]

I'm not too au fait with the latest games, haven't played Fortnite but I know it's popular. One of you crazy kids will have fill something more appropriate in!

Red dead redemption 2 is in vogue. Would it be Leggy Gazza's cup of tea though? Maybe not.

[Glebe]

Red dead redemption 2 is in vogue. Would it be Leggy Gazza's cup of tea though? Maybe not.

"Fucking cowboy nonsense, Daz. You know I gone off 'em since that Brokeback's Mountains and that."

[New Jack]

Legend Gary starts a self-help thread on Reddit.

Any tips for cutting up coke?

After a bit of deliberation also posts another query:

How disgraceful is being a twat?

[Glebe]

DAZ: Gary, why are you wearing a dress, make-up, false eyelashes and a wig?

LEDGE: I'm going transgender now, Daz. It's all the rage, gotta keep up with the times.

[New Jack]

Ere Daz, remember when I mooned you, and you mooned me back? How it were all such a laff? Just banter? Well turns out now am a bird you were sexual harassin me. Hash tag Me Too, Daz, hash tag Me Too. Can't blame ya likes I'm ded fit. I'd fuck me. Would you fuck us Daz? Careful, I'm on twitter

[New Jack]

Legend Gariella tags her hash and herself as well in one of Daz's Facebook photos.

That's all it is yeah?

[New Jack]

Legend Gary pays for an Uber with his fake Rolex

(from my almost reality series ®)

[Glebe]

GARY: This Brexit thing is great, we might be able to own the whole of Ireland now, Daz!

DAZ: I can't pretend that I fully understand the ins and outs and technicalities of the whole Brexit thing myself, Gary, but I think you've got that a bit wrong.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary tells everyone about a dream where he got jackpot on the fruity but it paid out in johnnies

[New Jack]

Legend Gary isn't saying he'd crawl naked through a mile of broken glass just to lick her piss off a nettle, because she looks like a right slag who's up for it without all that mushy talk

[New Jack]

Legend Gary gets on the bus drunk with a black long balloon and says to the driver, Look, it's Black Friday, put it in your mouth eh! Haha hahaha!

Then some of the passengers too. Legend Gary met New Jack and declared him Sound. New Jack now has paranoia about how much of a wanker LEGEND he himself must be!

From my Live Feed Reality Series ®

[Ferris]

Legend Gary gets on the night bus from Edinburgh city centre back to Musselburgh, but falls asleep because he's still pissed from a long night at the Standing Order.

...wakes up, finds he's been asleep for 4 hours (and 6-10 loops) and is currently heading back to Edinburgh. Never mind - the bus runs on a loop so back to sleep for another 40 minutes!

(From my own reality series, mate of mine from Mussy®. Bit of an LG but nice bloke.)

[Kryton]

Legend Gary loses his forklift truck license within sixty seconds of getting it and is marched off site.

[Gregory Torso]

Legend Gary tells his mate Wee Jimmy Hardbrexit that he done a yard of muff on the shag crawl last night between The Admiral Shitstain and the old knackered hen furnace.

[New Jack]

'Knee-deep in clunge-gunge, sunshine. Had to wade home, smelt like the fish market's bins. Well dirty.'

[New Jack]

Legend Gary's preparing for Christmas already.

Mistletoe on the belt, job's a good un

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary reckons a herald to the plebiscite might swing the morality of the decision to hurl a kid off a cable car.

[Blue Jam]

The Ledge is a keen believer that you are what you eat

That's why Legend Gary bought this t-shirt:



Only joking- it's this one. White's a bit gay innit:

[Blue Jam]

No way was Ledge going to let Pubes Daz's stag do steak dinner get ruined by a bunch of vegans:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1812208/Video-Stand-love-meat-Stag-party-sing-vegan-protesters.html

Daz is so thankful that he resists the temptation to tell Ledge that he was singing his words to the tune of Go West by The Village People.

[Glebe]

"Fancy another game of Pro Evo, Daz?"

"Nah not right now Ledge I'm just gonna have a little sleep-a-nap on the couch."

"You wot?"

"A little 'sleep-a-nap'... it's my little term for catching forth winks!"

"That's brilliant, Daz! I think I'll have a little 'sleep-a-nap' meself!"

"Haha you do that Gary nice one sound cheers mate fine."

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Legend Gary's earliest memory is walking into his mam's bedroom and seeing a man who wasn't his stepdad, plums deep in her.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The memory intermittently streams into his consciousness midway through Fury vs Wilder

[Beagle 2]

Legend Gary feeds a guide dog in a beer garden some Red Bull and sits back to film the absolute mayhem.

After taking a 37 minute video of a stationary Labrador with sad eyes his phone runs out of memory just before it takes a slightly runnier poo than usual.

These are the times.

[Glebe]

"Here Gary, have you tried mixing Yop with Orangina?"

"That's brilliant, Daz! Here, gizz a sip... ughhhh, that's fucking disgusting!"

"Never mind Ledge, heh, nice one sound okay fine bye hey la."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary reckons a Football Lads Alliance is finally the chance to get some fucking common sense injected into these here proceedings.

[Glebe]

"Just popping out to shops Gary, for a quick 'snack-a-snatch'."

"That's brilliant Daz! I'm gonna use that phrase from now on too!"

"Sigh."

[a duncandisorderly]

Legend Gary's earliest memory is walking into his mam's bedroom and seeing a man who wasn't his stepdad, plums deep in her.

his real dad.