Author Topic: LEGEND GARY  (Read 97086 times)

St_Eddie

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2490 on: January 06, 2019, 09:02:43 PM »
"Oi, Daz!  How come they're telling us that it's wrong to call the spaccer little spaccers 'spaccers'?  A spades a spade and so's a black person, know what I mean, mate?"

"Oh, please do shut up, Gary."

SteveDave

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2491 on: January 10, 2019, 02:46:46 PM »
LEGEND: https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/7647711/gary-lucy-splits-from-wife-partying/

This is quite old now but fuckinell

"Gary and Natasha have three children together, seen here with India and Elvis in 2009"

BlodwynPig

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2492 on: January 10, 2019, 05:45:28 PM »
“It’s 2019 Gaz, perhaps time to think about getting a job and settling down?”

“Yeh Daz, you do that son, you do that”

*ledge dusts off his Paul Gascoigne fake tits for another year of mischief*

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2493 on: January 22, 2019, 08:32:45 AM »
Legend Gary admits Farooq is a "top lad for an ethnic" to be fair to the brown cunt

ToneLa

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2494 on: January 22, 2019, 07:21:44 PM »
Say what you will about his virulent Paki-bashing, crass nationalism or petty theft: when Leg Gar proves how well he cuts a rug (sometimes literally if she's 'smuggling a carpet through customs' , eh, Viz readers?) but you'd have to fight through four rows of ten of his mates (you figure it out) at the Dog and Bucket to disregard his veritable dancing skills.

Cause I can fuckin dance, Da, alright? Like Travolta with dyslexia.

ToneLa

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2495 on: January 22, 2019, 07:30:06 PM »
Legend Gary admits Farooq is a "top lad for an ethnic" to be fair to the brown cunt

That Rock seems alright for a lad who is bit of a black. It all levels out when you consider, of course, it is as it must simply be: 'all things considered'.

Leg Ba basks in his own wisdom which he made up himself.

ToneLa

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2496 on: January 22, 2019, 08:28:43 PM »
"The best thing about chatting up autistic birds," The Legend Gary utters, gazing off into the night sky, wise as he drags on a spliff he virtually had to force Da to roll and let him smoke alone on Da's doorstep - no matter what the bird in the flat above has already put in via complaints about to the council & landlord - is, "They can't pick up on your lies."

Da remains silent, probably in awe like

Edit: checked the "is" added to to the percieved amusement
« Last Edit: January 22, 2019, 08:46:00 PM by ToneLa »

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2497 on: January 29, 2019, 09:32:08 AM »
Pubes has an idea to ring Gunther von Haagens and make an ice cream brand together

Gary naysays this idea a lot but years later finds himself eating some after a discount deal at Heron.

"Strawberries and cream is a fucking homo flavour, Daz"
"...you bought it!"
"....... shut up"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2498 on: January 29, 2019, 01:44:21 PM »
"Fucking hell, what has Simon Cowell done to his face?!"

"It's great, innit, Daz! I've just taken out me live savings, I'm off to the plastic surgeon's to get me own facelift sorted!"

"Butcher Barry? Alright, Ledge, but remember, he's only just finished his sentence for the manslaughter charge, remember that?"

Blue Jam

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2499 on: January 31, 2019, 06:42:29 PM »
"Morning Ledge, do you want a bacon sandwich?"
"No thanks Daz- you know what? I took this pill here and suddenly I feel... absolutely fine!"
"Fuck off Ledge, you had eight pints and twelve sambucas last night!"
"Have we got any more of these? I think I've just discovered my ticket to 75 more years of ledging!"

RIP, Ledge. Mine's a double:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-47073913

St_Eddie

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2500 on: January 31, 2019, 08:14:05 PM »
"Daz, I'm sick of those leftist SJW cunts saying that people like me are massive racists."

"Ledge, mate.  Last night you walked into town wearing a hat with the words 'I'm a massive racist' printed on it.  You then punched a black man, an Asian women and a Welshman.  In that order, calling each a 'coon', 'a gook' and a 'dragon cunt', respectively."

"Fuck off, Daz, you Asian cunt!"

"Um, what are you talking about, Gary?!  I'm white British like you!"

"You what?!  Sorry, I don't talk Ching Chong Chinaman, mate."

"I'm going home, Gary.  You're being ridiculous."

"Yeah, fuck off back to where you once came from."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2501 on: February 01, 2019, 08:07:13 AM »
Legend Gary mines the tbf absolute gold mine that is the similarity between the word Wrong and the Chinese surname Wong.

Not going to be passing up that opportunity.

Paul Calf

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2502 on: February 01, 2019, 09:07:03 AM »
Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz, fucking look!


phes

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2503 on: February 01, 2019, 09:19:50 AM »
TAG YOUR MATE AND IF THEY DON'T RESPOND WITHIN THREE MINUTES THEY HAVE TO STOP THE FIRST BLACK GUY THEY SEE FOR A MEASURE UP

Ledge: *daz* lol

ToneLa

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2504 on: February 01, 2019, 12:06:11 PM »
"He who has tired of suckjobs is tired of life," utters Gary, sagely, in the line in the supermarket, looking into the middle distance. "Getting them, that is, not giving them. I'm not Daz!!"

"I'm sorry, young man, were you talking to me?" asks the old lady in front. Even old minge tries it on with Gary.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2505 on: February 01, 2019, 03:37:47 PM »
Legend Gary is awarded first prize in a Photography Competition he cock-pic'd for the lols. He was selected by the judges purely so he could be outed publically as the misogynistic shithead cunt he really is.

Doesn't work though, it just upsets long time contributors and he has a great weekend out on the £2500.

St_Eddie

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2506 on: February 01, 2019, 04:12:07 PM »
Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz, fucking look!



"Ledge, mate.  You don't know how to correctly link to an image which doesn't allow hotlinking.  You're computer illiterate."

"Fuuuccccckkkkkk!"

Paul Calf

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2507 on: February 01, 2019, 07:02:04 PM »
*Cough*

Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz, fucking look!



(Image was cached for me, so I couldn't see that)


Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2508 on: February 01, 2019, 10:47:19 PM »
Gary kills the neighbours moggie in an effort to cut down on wind noise in his prank videos.

ToneLa

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2509 on: February 01, 2019, 11:21:14 PM »
Gary kills the neighbours moggie in an effort to cut down on wind noise in his prank videos.

In a bin she goes. That woman who binned her moggy was a legend and Gary is jealous of her fame!

Maybe that legend was trying to make YouTube sensations too. You never know.

ToneLa

  • I don't have to dip fishsticks in shit(literally)
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2510 on: February 05, 2019, 02:59:48 AM »
'Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid,' Gary remembers, from some inspirational Twitter feed or other as he psyches himself up to tell this bird in the pub he thinks her arse is fit as a butcher's dog and if she's never had her dirty shitter battered she doesn't know what she's fuckin missing, ya doss cunt.

Or maybe it was Instagram?

ToneLa

  • I don't have to dip fishsticks in shit(literally)
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2511 on: February 05, 2019, 03:15:22 AM »
Be old, Gary muses, and shitey fuckers will cum to your AIDS.

Daz hasn't been online for a while but he'll surely appreciate this canny joke about Daz's own dad rattling his own son's crap-pipe.

He'll probably even kick off, the homophobic poof. Daz has been well touchy lately. It's just a fucking joke!!

Gary starts an elaborate followup message about the bird from the pub. Gentlemen never kiss and tell, which rules Gary out!! Daz wasn't there tonight anyway, fuckin mam's funeral or summat, so can't say shit.

... Unlike his dad when he pulls out and sees what's on the end of his knob! Gary thinks, laughs as he starts tugging his foreskin, deletes what he wrote about that slag and instead messages Daz with the sad face emoticon, love heart, cucumber, face with moustache, handcuffs, black fistbump, gravestone, cucumber, peach.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2019, 03:49:38 AM by ToneLa »

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2512 on: February 05, 2019, 04:31:48 AM »
Ep. 4F07: Daz The Night Away
Channel 4 (2006)

Daz buys a minority share in a provincial nightclub. Gary gets a job at the Nissan garage, and makes an unwise sale to an old schoolfriend.

(M)(SL)(SFC)

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2513 on: February 05, 2019, 01:01:55 PM »
"Happy birthday, Ledge."

"Yeah, mum. Whatevs"


Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2514 on: February 05, 2019, 09:13:19 PM »
PL1 BES is much cheaper, as Daz keeps reminding him

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2515 on: February 05, 2019, 11:59:55 PM »
One for Desolation perhaps, but I actually saw the plate XXX 9ARY in the wild yesterday. Too slow to capture it though.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2516 on: February 06, 2019, 12:08:38 AM »

Paul Calf

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2517 on: February 06, 2019, 08:39:50 AM »


I walk past this regularly.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2518 on: February 07, 2019, 01:09:57 PM »


As if the range rover wasn't a big enough clue.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2519 on: February 08, 2019, 06:21:23 AM »
Where's the sheep shagger material Gary, come on you're in Wales, slam dunk

Don't mate


Come on where's your witty rejoinder about sheep

Mate leave it

Come on we've travelled all this way!

Just... don't.