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LEGEND GARY

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, February 09, 2016, 11:19:54 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

St_Eddie

"Oi, Daz!  How come they're telling us that it's wrong to call the spaccer little spaccers 'spaccers'?  A spades a spade and so's a black person, know what I mean, mate?"

"Oh, please do shut up, Gary."

SteveDave

Quote from: flotemysost on November 04, 2018, 08:09:15 PM
LEGEND: https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/7647711/gary-lucy-splits-from-wife-partying/

This is quite old now but fuckinell

"Gary and Natasha have three children together, seen here with India and Elvis in 2009"

BlodwynPig

"It's 2019 Gaz, perhaps time to think about getting a job and settling down?"

"Yeh Daz, you do that son, you do that"

*ledge dusts off his Paul Gascoigne fake tits for another year of mischief*

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary admits Farooq is a "top lad for an ethnic" to be fair to the brown cunt

ToneLa

Say what you will about his virulent p**i-bashing, crass nationalism or petty theft: when Leg Gar proves how well he cuts a rug (sometimes literally if she's 'smuggling a carpet through customs' , eh, Viz readers?) but you'd have to fight through four rows of ten of his mates (you figure it out) at the Dog and Bucket to disregard his veritable dancing skills.

Cause I can fuckin dance, Da, alright? Like Travolta with dyslexia.

ToneLa

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 22, 2019, 08:32:45 AM
Legend Gary admits Farooq is a "top lad for an ethnic" to be fair to the brown cunt

That Rock seems alright for a lad who is bit of a black. It all levels out when you consider, of course, it is as it must simply be: 'all things considered'.

Leg Ba basks in his own wisdom which he made up himself.

ToneLa

#2496
"The best thing about chatting up autistic birds," The Legend Gary utters, gazing off into the night sky, wise as he drags on a spliff he virtually had to force Da to roll and let him smoke alone on Da's doorstep - no matter what the bird in the flat above has already put in via complaints about to the council & landlord - is, "They can't pick up on your lies."

Da remains silent, probably in awe like

Edit: checked the "is" added to to the percieved amusement

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Pubes has an idea to ring Gunther von Haagens and make an ice cream brand together

Gary naysays this idea a lot but years later finds himself eating some after a discount deal at Heron.

"Strawberries and cream is a fucking homo flavour, Daz"
"...you bought it!"
"....... shut up"

Glebe

"Fucking hell, what has Simon Cowell done to his face?!"

"It's great, innit, Daz! I've just taken out me live savings, I'm off to the plastic surgeon's to get me own facelift sorted!"

"Butcher Barry? Alright, Ledge, but remember, he's only just finished his sentence for the manslaughter charge, remember that?"

Blue Jam

"Morning Ledge, do you want a bacon sandwich?"
"No thanks Daz- you know what? I took this pill here and suddenly I feel... absolutely fine!"
"Fuck off Ledge, you had eight pints and twelve sambucas last night!"
"Have we got any more of these? I think I've just discovered my ticket to 75 more years of ledging!"

RIP, Ledge. Mine's a double:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-47073913

St_Eddie

"Daz, I'm sick of those leftist SJW cunts saying that people like me are massive racists."

"Ledge, mate.  Last night you walked into town wearing a hat with the words 'I'm a massive racist' printed on it.  You then punched a black man, an Asian women and a Welshman.  In that order, calling each a 'coon', 'a gook' and a 'dragon cunt', respectively."

"Fuck off, Daz, you Asian cunt!"

"Um, what are you talking about, Gary?!  I'm white British like you!"

"You what?!  Sorry, I don't talk Ching Chong Chinaman, mate."

"I'm going home, Gary.  You're being ridiculous."

"Yeah, fuck off back to where you once came from."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary mines the tbf absolute gold mine that is the similarity between the word Wrong and the Chinese surname Wong.

Not going to be passing up that opportunity.

Paul Calf

Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz, fucking look!


phes

TAG YOUR MATE AND IF THEY DON'T RESPOND WITHIN THREE MINUTES THEY HAVE TO STOP THE FIRST BLACK GUY THEY SEE FOR A MEASURE UP

Ledge: *daz* lol

ToneLa

"He who has tired of suckjobs is tired of life," utters Gary, sagely, in the line in the supermarket, looking into the middle distance. "Getting them, that is, not giving them. I'm not Daz!!"

"I'm sorry, young man, were you talking to me?" asks the old lady in front. Even old minge tries it on with Gary.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary is awarded first prize in a Photography Competition he cock-pic'd for the lols. He was selected by the judges purely so he could be outed publically as the misogynistic shithead cunt he really is.

Doesn't work though, it just upsets long time contributors and he has a great weekend out on the £2500.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 01, 2019, 09:07:03 AM
Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz, fucking look!



"Ledge, mate.  You don't know how to correctly link to an image which doesn't allow hotlinking.  You're computer illiterate."

"Fuuuccccckkkkkk!"

Paul Calf

*Cough*

Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz.

What, Gaz?

Daz, fucking look!



(Image was cached for me, so I couldn't see that)


Sebastian Cobb

Gary kills the neighbours moggie in an effort to cut down on wind noise in his prank videos.

ToneLa

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on February 01, 2019, 10:47:19 PM
Gary kills the neighbours moggie in an effort to cut down on wind noise in his prank videos.

In a bin she goes. That woman who binned her moggy was a legend and Gary is jealous of her fame!

Maybe that legend was trying to make YouTube sensations too. You never know.

ToneLa

'Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid,' Gary remembers, from some inspirational Twitter feed or other as he psyches himself up to tell this bird in the pub he thinks her arse is fit as a butcher's dog and if she's never had her dirty shitter battered she doesn't know what she's fuckin missing, ya doss cunt.

Or maybe it was Instagram?

ToneLa

#2511
Be old, Gary muses, and shitey fuckers will cum to your AIDS.

Daz hasn't been online for a while but he'll surely appreciate this canny joke about Daz's own dad rattling his own son's crap-pipe.

He'll probably even kick off, the homophobic poof. Daz has been well touchy lately. It's just a fucking joke!!

Gary starts an elaborate followup message about the bird from the pub. Gentlemen never kiss and tell, which rules Gary out!! Daz wasn't there tonight anyway, fuckin mam's funeral or summat, so can't say shit.

... Unlike his dad when he pulls out and sees what's on the end of his knob! Gary thinks, laughs as he starts tugging his foreskin, deletes what he wrote about that slag and instead messages Daz with the sad face emoticon, love heart, cucumber, face with moustache, handcuffs, black fistbump, gravestone, cucumber, peach.

Ferris

Ep. 4F07: Daz The Night Away
Channel 4 (2006)

Daz buys a minority share in a provincial nightclub. Gary gets a job at the Nissan garage, and makes an unwise sale to an old schoolfriend.

(M)(SL)(SFC)

"Happy birthday, Ledge."

"Yeah, mum. Whatevs"


Shoulders?-Stomach!

PL1 BES is much cheaper, as Daz keeps reminding him

One for Desolation perhaps, but I actually saw the plate XXX 9ARY in the wild yesterday. Too slow to capture it though.

a duncandisorderly


Paul Calf



I walk past this regularly.

Sebastian Cobb


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Where's the sheep shagger material Gary, come on you're in Wales, slam dunk

Don't mate


Come on where's your witty rejoinder about sheep

Mate leave it

Come on we've travelled all this way!

Just... don't.