Author Topic: LEGEND GARY  (Read 109546 times)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2670 on: April 29, 2019, 07:33:01 AM »
Legend Gary is admitted into STOKE DEFENDERS OF THE NIGHT Paedo-Hunter Group after reassuring them that Gary only gets freaky when there's grass on the pitch. After seeing some shitty pictures of her on a cracked phone screen, the rest of the group concede she is pretty fit tbh.

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2671 on: April 29, 2019, 08:05:55 AM »
"Come and see,  Daz - 'Matches' O' Farrell has burnt down the shed!"

"Oh fuck, Ledge - the dog was in there!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"


Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2672 on: April 29, 2019, 11:10:56 PM »
"It's alright, Ledge, Towzer the dog is alright!"

"Fuck's sake, Daz, you love animals more than people... what if it'd been me in that shed?"

"Wouldn't laughed, Ledge. Wouldn't laughed."

"Good man, Daz. Correct answer, no mercy."

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2673 on: April 30, 2019, 02:02:31 AM »
'Daz, mate, I'm an ephebophile. There's a big fucking difference.'


Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2674 on: April 30, 2019, 01:16:30 PM »
Legend Gary unironically compares the meerkat.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2675 on: April 30, 2019, 11:51:40 PM »

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2676 on: May 01, 2019, 12:06:11 AM »


I thought it was well known that typing “[any name] the hedgehog” into google images gave you a fucking shitload of low-quality children’s fan art. Pop your name in there and marvel.

St_Eddie

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2677 on: May 01, 2019, 12:25:50 AM »
I thought it was well known that typing “[any name] the hedgehog” into google images gave you a fucking shitload of low-quality children’s fan art. Pop your name in there and marvel.

"...so you see, Daz.  There's no way that I drew that picture last night and uploaded it to DeviantArt under the name 'GaryTheLegend69'.  It must be a different Gary.  As for the crayons in the corner of me flat there.  Well they could be anyone's, innit."

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2678 on: May 01, 2019, 02:10:51 AM »
"Wouldn't laughed, Ledge. Wouldn't laughed."

That should be would've laughed, Ledge. Would've laughed.", ffs.

Anyway... Gary shoplifts at Aldi and tips a wink to the security guard, 'Dodgy' Malcolm.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2679 on: May 02, 2019, 06:23:33 AM »
"Here Daz, what does 'forsk' mean?"

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2680 on: May 02, 2019, 03:16:07 PM »
I thought it was well known that typing “[any name] the hedgehog” into google images gave you a fucking shitload of low-quality children’s fan art. Pop your name in there and marvel.

Should have known better. Though I am at a disadvantage in the knowledge stakes here with my given name being Knuckles.

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2681 on: May 02, 2019, 08:45:25 PM »
Daz comes into the flat and discovers Gary standing in front of a Union Jack flag, saluting with one hand and holding his phone on a selfie stick with the other.

"Watcha doin', Gary?"

"I'm recording a special message for Our Brave Boys fighting the talibans in the Falklands."

"Right that's it the last straw you mental bastard."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2682 on: May 03, 2019, 02:18:59 AM »
"I'm sorry, sir but this is the cheapest we have this particular model for. Maybe I can interest you in a cheaper laptop?"

"I WANT THIS ONE!" screams Gary, slamming his can of Stella down on the laptop.

"Sir, we don't allow alcohol in here, nor aggressive behaviour - I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave!"

"Get fucked, y'fucking twat!" growls Gary, smashing the laptop up.

"That's enough, mate! SECURITY-"

"Oh no y'don't y'fucker-"

LATER:

"Can you describe in detail what happened, er Daz, is it?"

"Yes, officer... er, Gary was just politely asking to look at a cheaper laptop, when the shop assistant started getting shirty."

"This is the shop assistant that's having a laptop removed from his anus, right?"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2683 on: May 04, 2019, 07:36:25 AM »
Gary smashes a parrot against a garage.

dex

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2684 on: May 04, 2019, 05:30:22 PM »
Daz is blasting out Toploader's dancing in the moonlight on his Huawei phone. Needless to say Ledge punches it to oblivion until all the microchips and diodes are pulverised. The Chinese spy monitoring the unusual activity remotely is shocked. Karaoke banger in his district.

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2685 on: May 06, 2019, 11:29:41 AM »
"Fancy a game of footie with the lads, Daz?"

"Nah Gary, bit tired to be honest."

"LADS! DAZ IS BEING A WEEK POOF! KILL HIM!"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2686 on: May 07, 2019, 02:56:29 PM »
"For the horde!"

"You playin' that Worlds of Warcrafts nerd shite, Daz?"

"Yes Gary I love it I simply love it."

"C'mere, Daz, y'fooking geek fuckin kill yah."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2687 on: May 08, 2019, 08:17:08 AM »
"Do you see a Godard influence in Agnes Varda's work, Daz?"

Paul Calf

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2688 on: May 08, 2019, 11:39:27 AM »
Daz is blasting out Toploader's dancing in the moonlight on his Huawei phone. Needless to say Ledge punches it to oblivion until all the microchips and diodes are pulverised. The Chinese spy monitoring the unusual activity remotely is shocked. Karaoke banger in his district.

I'm with Gary on this one, I'm afraid.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2689 on: May 08, 2019, 02:05:09 PM »
I'm with Gary on this one, I'm afraid.

No shame in that. Everyone is a little on the Ledge spectrum somewhere...

Paul Calf

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2690 on: May 08, 2019, 02:59:38 PM »
Toploader brings out the Gaz in me.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2691 on: May 09, 2019, 01:29:31 PM »
"Open the windows, Daz!"

"But Gary, the neighbours are already going berserk... the entire street will be out for our blood!"

"TURN THAT SHIT UP! 'It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice...'"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2692 on: May 09, 2019, 11:38:34 PM »
"Here Daz, I just got Boycie's autograph!"

"No way! You bump into John Challis, then?"

"Who? Any road, punched the fucker in the face, couldn't resist. Still a comedy favorite, though!"

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2693 on: May 09, 2019, 11:56:00 PM »
'It was a fuckin... minge binge in there, Daz, I'm telling ya. A yeast feast. A punani army.'

'Glad your first volunteering shift at the retirement home for servicemen's widows went well, Ledge.'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2694 on: May 10, 2019, 07:12:22 AM »
Legend Gary calls a white haired member of the British Legion harmlessly out asking for donations a 'fucking Beefeater' and does that whole dancing with some lager held aloft right into his face.

Loves Heroes though, Britain's Best. Best Army in the world bar none. Fucking nut anyone who says otherwise.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • You Go Careful There Now My Love
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2695 on: May 10, 2019, 01:29:14 PM »
Intersex? Yes, Legend Gary is well intersex

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2696 on: May 14, 2019, 02:52:52 PM »
"Daz? Come to the Dog & Hammer immediately! Bring butter!"

"What you up to, Gary?"

"I done trapped me hand in the fruity! I managed to call you with the other!"

"Alright then. Wait a minute... will Flora margarine do?"

"Fuck's sake mate. Fuck's sake."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • You Go Careful There Now My Love
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2697 on: May 14, 2019, 03:26:25 PM »
Legend Gary and his fellow stamgasty gather around the stammtisch and discuss the issues of the day over a few mugs of ale. Current topic, how well equipped Legend Gary is to step into Jeremy Kyle's shoes.

After all, he is a size 9 as well, aha hahaha! Not bad actually

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2698 on: May 14, 2019, 04:06:55 PM »
"DIE, RAGHEAD SCUM!"

"Gary, it's only a game!"

"You know I like to play rough, Daz... and these guns don't have real lazers on 'em! Fucking nanny state!"


Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2699 on: May 16, 2019, 01:16:20 AM »
"I dunno Daz, with all this Brexit going on I'm thinking of voting for the EDL."

"Go back to sleep, Gary."

"I only just got up!"

"I know. I know."