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LEGEND GARY

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, February 09, 2016, 11:19:54 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Glebe

"Wake up Gary, our brief is here."

Glebe

"Red Bull gives you wings, Daz."

king_tubby

"Red Bull gives you AIDS, Daz"

dex

"Gary? Gary! The church elders are going to press charges for the thing that happened the other night after the pub. It's not looking too good."

"Oh dear, Daz."

"Oh dear, oh dear, Gaz"

Glebe

"All this thing about sending money overseas to the darkies... what about us lot! I'd be more sympathetic if they'd give a share to us poor people here in Blighty!"

"Those countries are much worse off than us, Gary. And there are people of all colours here in the UK. And 'darkies' is a horrible, racist term from the past, ffs."

"Yeah, whatever, Daz... anyway, 'charity begins at home!' as they say. And ends at home, too."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary gives a horse "what for"

Mugging me right off

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary leaves his friend's kids at the door because they "don't get it".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary is still alive after a week of being buried alive.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary performs one of the more popular sexual acts on the Tube for a few minutes.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary stabs your foot with an iron bar to make it feel "less painful" for 5 minutes.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary makes a fake bomb out of condoms and tries it out in front of the Pope.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary's birthday party consists of him eating a bag of sand in a giant pool of his own blood.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary doesn't understand English; he tells no one for the rest of his life.

Glebe

"Ledge, fucking Danny Dyer's outside!"

"Fuck me, Daz, just let me finish this pint and I'll go out and give him a fucking hiding! Bloke's me hero, can't wait to deck 'im!"

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on June 24, 2019, 10:11:32 PM
Legend Gary gives a horse "what for"

Mugging me right off

In a&e with a fractured wrist after trying to 'do a mungo from Blazing Saddles'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary throws himself off a cliff to find an ice cream cone.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary has his finger bitten off by a pig

St_Eddie

Legend Gary fries "homemade bacon" for his breakfast.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary plays the ancient Chinese game of Monopoly in an attempt to get rich quick.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary is told he is "too old for church".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary has a crush on a fellow stalker.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary checks in down the cop shop to confess to a murder

Yep. Murdered this geeza at pool didn't I? Hahahaha wankers

They turn the cameras off, dim the lights, and kick the living shit out of him.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Master Race: Gary.

Master Race: Gary, being the best.

Master Race: The best.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary tries to get the homeless to stop giving him warm blankets.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary orders a packet of crisps to be delivered to his bedroom door.

madhair60

Legend Gary plays Pubes Daz his new song

(Entire intro of The Knack's "My Sharona") Der ner NUH NUH ner NUH ner NUH ner ner NUH ner ner ner NUH NUH ner NUH PAEDOPHILE

Glebe

"What's that on your shirt, Gary?"

"It's a For Britain badge, Daz. It's about time we stood up to them muslims invading our country!"

"Er... right, Gary. I'm going to the fridge, fancy a Stella?"

"Nah, Daz, that's French or summit, not drinking no foreign beer no more!"

"Well that's all we've got, I'm afraid."

"Yeah alright, go on then... and grab us some of that meat you got in the market... I'll say one thing for the Mexicans, they make decent 'halal'!"

Beagle 2

Legend Gary studies the dictionary definitions for "Trolling" and "Banter" for over an hour and is still none the wiser as to 1. What the difference is, and 2. Why Gary Lineker blocked him.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary is a Father 4 Justice

No actual contact with any of his kids like

Glebe

"I just don't get it, Daz. Here we are strugglin', while Zumba Zumba from Wahoola Land comes over 'ere and gets free benefits and a house and special racialist rights!"

"It's Broken Britain, Gary. We need Boris to step up to the plate and become the Trump of Great Britain."

"Y'know, I really admire you, Daz. You're well smart and that, reckon you'd be in with a shout if you ran for The Primed Minister!"