Author Topic: LEGEND GARY  (Read 124102 times)

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2820 on: July 14, 2019, 03:31:52 PM »
"I'll tell you what, Daz, some of them blacks has great football skills!"

"For fuck's sake, Gary."

"But it's true Daz! I'll give 'em that, at least."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2821 on: July 14, 2019, 10:11:48 PM »
Legend Gary is treated for anaphylactic shock while waiting to be tested for Ebola.

phes

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2822 on: July 14, 2019, 10:28:14 PM »
Legend Gary calls a man with a backpack a student twat

Legend Gary yells VEGAN CUNT at a man on an electric scooter

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2823 on: July 14, 2019, 11:09:23 PM »
"I'm thinking of getting into Game of Thrones, Daz!"

"Nah,  GoT's finished now, Gary."

"B-but.. it'll still continue and be popular won't it, Daz? Like the way the Harry Potter is?"

"Dunno, mate. Dunno."

"So... should I get into it... or not Daz?"

"It's your call, Gary. It's your call."

"Daz... I'm scared mate... I'm scared!"

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2824 on: July 15, 2019, 07:34:49 AM »
Legend Gary orders a poster of Donald Trump. To go alongside his signed photo of Nigel Farage.

Means his enlarged printout of him and Daz reenacting 2 girls 1 cup will have to come down, as will the pictures
of him in inappropriate fancy dress.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2825 on: July 15, 2019, 07:43:53 AM »
Legend Gary bans himself from going to see the new James Bond film after what he calls The News. This ban will last two days after the film's release.

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2826 on: July 15, 2019, 07:52:03 AM »
"Is that your ex over there, Daz?"

"No that's a shed, Gary."

"Right prolly the ketamine kicking in, then."

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2827 on: July 15, 2019, 12:15:57 PM »
Legend Gary holds a one person pro climate change demo.

Legend Gary offers banter training online, three hour webinar £100


Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2828 on: July 15, 2019, 07:08:42 PM »
Legend Gary and a pig eat the last living pig in London.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2829 on: July 15, 2019, 07:16:11 PM »
Legend Gary eats his own vomit, which turns into a meal he calls "the soup."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2830 on: July 15, 2019, 07:22:18 PM »
Legend Gary eats a hamster named Fonzie and then drinks a bottle of scotch.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2831 on: July 15, 2019, 07:24:53 PM »
Legend Gary and his girlfriend take it upon themselves to make a 'bad batch' of piss for a laugh.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2832 on: July 16, 2019, 08:38:39 AM »
Legend Gary runs over his own leg when he wants to prove to the lads he is a qualified aeroplane driver.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2833 on: July 16, 2019, 08:42:20 AM »
After a weekend in London Legend Gary names an album of treasured memories on Instagram 'A Legend In London'

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2834 on: July 16, 2019, 08:53:54 AM »
Legend Gary is in nick again for running around the town with a cricket bat, swinging at flowers and knocking over garden gnomes. Fucking world cup win immunity, innit?

Oh, Gary. You're not a diplomat.

king_tubby

  • Moustaches caked with airplane glue
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2835 on: July 16, 2019, 09:05:25 AM »
After a weekend in London Legend Gary names an album of treasured memories on Instagram 'A Legend In London'

He keeps quiet about being the only person in the last twenty years to be charged 200 quid for a glass of coke in a Soho strip club (actually a newsagents with a surprisingly large array of pornographic magazines).

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2836 on: July 16, 2019, 03:59:24 PM »
Daz drops in on Gary, having been living in Galway for six months.

GARY: Daz! You're home!

DAZ: Howyah Gary, sure 'tis good to be home! And come here to me now, how have you been?

GARY: Pretty good Daz, all told! Keeping out of trouble, heh!

DAZ: And tell me this and tell me no more, are y'workin'?

GARY: Nah, still on the scratcher, Daz! Anyway, how was Ireland? Hope y'haven't been manufacturing no bombs, heh!

DAZ: Heh heh, ah sure go way, Gary! Come here to me now, how's the family?

GARY: Ah they're all grand, er… I mean, yeah, everyone's okay.

DAZ: And tell me this and tell me no more, how's the girlfriend?

GARY: You've changed, Daz! You've changed!

Chollis

  • Master of Codes
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2837 on: July 16, 2019, 04:28:46 PM »
love that Glebe

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2838 on: July 16, 2019, 04:34:31 PM »
love that Glebe

Thanks mate! Six pack of Stella winging it's way to you!

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2839 on: July 16, 2019, 04:37:28 PM »
It's brought a memory hurtling back of my Welsh grandfather prefacing questions/the giving of gifts with 'Come here to me now'

Had completely forgotten about that. Thanks!

phes

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  • operating as a shape
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2840 on: July 16, 2019, 07:38:51 PM »
Gary: Daz, remember in school when I rubbed a chilli on my cock and had a bunk-up with that twenty-stoner?
Daz: That was Debs
Gaz: Jagers?


Legend Gary insists a female Blackbird is a 'half-cast'
« Last Edit: July 16, 2019, 07:49:24 PM by phes »

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2841 on: July 17, 2019, 03:24:21 PM »
DAZ: Been binge-watching that Breaking Bad, Gary, it's great! Wot you watchin'?

LEDGE: Benefits Street and The Updateables. Fucking BAFTA-worthy, Daz.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2842 on: July 17, 2019, 03:31:37 PM »
Legend Gary goes through chemo and gives himself a new nickname: Garibaldi. He tells it to all of his friends, family and co-workers, and several strangers. It only generates fake laughs and Gary goes to the pub toilet and cries. Then glasses a guy at the bar.

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2843 on: July 17, 2019, 03:50:22 PM »
"Heh, I tossed Spazzer Mick over a wall today, Daz!"

"You can be a real prick sometimes Gary, you know that?"

"That's just nastiness, Daz. That's just nastiness. Uncalled for."

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2844 on: July 17, 2019, 04:27:48 PM »
Legend Gary bodyslams a shortarse for getting gobby in a bagel shop.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2845 on: July 17, 2019, 04:44:26 PM »
Legend Gary heats up a sausage roll with a lighter, as he checks if his burglary gloves are dry.

ZoyzaSorris

  • if you can smell me it's too late
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2846 on: July 17, 2019, 08:14:04 PM »
Legend Gary is sent to hell, sentenced to an eternity of ‘hanging out the back of himself’. Loves it.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2847 on: July 17, 2019, 09:08:49 PM »
Legend Gary shat on the pitch. wasn't even playing. Or in either squad. Or had a ticket. Or knew there was a match on.

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2848 on: July 17, 2019, 10:50:11 PM »
"Gonna host a '90s-themed rave party tonight, Daz!"

"Sound's fun, Gary. I'm sorry I can't make it."

"Your loss, Daz… okay, let's get ready for this!"

NEXT DAY.

"Nobody came, Daz. Nobody came."

ZoyzaSorris

  • if you can smell me it's too late
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2849 on: July 18, 2019, 09:53:18 AM »
Legend Gary shat on the pitch. wasn't even playing. Or in either squad. Or had a ticket. Or knew there was a match on.

I like the idea of Desolation being part of the extended Gary cinematic universe - or is it the other way round? Aaah.