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LEGEND GARY

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, February 09, 2016, 11:19:54 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Glebe

"I'll tell you what, Daz, some of them blacks has great football skills!"

"For fuck's sake, Gary."

"But it's true Daz! I'll give 'em that, at least."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary is treated for anaphylactic shock while waiting to be tested for Ebola.

phes

Legend Gary calls a man with a backpack a student twat

Legend Gary yells VEGAN CUNT at a man on an electric scooter

Glebe

"I'm thinking of getting into Game of Thrones, Daz!"

"Nah,  GoT's finished now, Gary."

"B-but.. it'll still continue and be popular won't it, Daz? Like the way the Harry Potter is?"

"Dunno, mate. Dunno."

"So... should I get into it... or not Daz?"

"It's your call, Gary. It's your call."

"Daz... I'm scared mate... I'm scared!"

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary orders a poster of Donald Trump. To go alongside his signed photo of Nigel Farage.

Means his enlarged printout of him and Daz reenacting 2 girls 1 cup will have to come down, as will the pictures
of him in inappropriate fancy dress.

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary bans himself from going to see the new James Bond film after what he calls The News. This ban will last two days after the film's release.

Glebe

"Is that your ex over there, Daz?"

"No that's a shed, Gary."

"Right prolly the ketamine kicking in, then."

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary holds a one person pro climate change demo.

Legend Gary offers banter training online, three hour webinar £100


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary and a pig eat the last living pig in London.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary eats his own vomit, which turns into a meal he calls "the soup."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary eats a hamster named Fonzie and then drinks a bottle of scotch.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary and his girlfriend take it upon themselves to make a 'bad batch' of piss for a laugh.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary runs over his own leg when he wants to prove to the lads he is a qualified aeroplane driver.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

After a weekend in London Legend Gary names an album of treasured memories on Instagram 'A Legend In London'

dex

Legend Gary is in nick again for running around the town with a cricket bat, swinging at flowers and knocking over garden gnomes. Fucking world cup win immunity, innit?

Oh, Gary. You're not a diplomat.

king_tubby

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 16, 2019, 08:42:20 AM
After a weekend in London Legend Gary names an album of treasured memories on Instagram 'A Legend In London'

He keeps quiet about being the only person in the last twenty years to be charged 200 quid for a glass of coke in a Soho strip club (actually a newsagents with a surprisingly large array of pornographic magazines).

Glebe

Daz drops in on Gary, having been living in Galway for six months.

GARY: Daz! You're home!

DAZ: Howyah Gary, sure 'tis good to be home! And come here to me now, how have you been?

GARY: Pretty good Daz, all told! Keeping out of trouble, heh!

DAZ: And tell me this and tell me no more, are y'workin'?

GARY: Nah, still on the scratcher, Daz! Anyway, how was Ireland? Hope y'haven't been manufacturing no bombs, heh!

DAZ: Heh heh, ah sure go way, Gary! Come here to me now, how's the family?

GARY: Ah they're all grand, er... I mean, yeah, everyone's okay.

DAZ: And tell me this and tell me no more, how's the girlfriend?

GARY: You've changed, Daz! You've changed!

Chollis


Glebe

Quote from: Chollis on July 16, 2019, 04:28:46 PMlove that Glebe

Thanks mate! Six pack of Stella winging it's way to you!

Cuellar

It's brought a memory hurtling back of my Welsh grandfather prefacing questions/the giving of gifts with 'Come here to me now'

Had completely forgotten about that. Thanks!

phes

#2840
Gary: Daz, remember in school when I rubbed a chilli on my cock and had a bunk-up with that twenty-stoner?
Daz: That was Debs
Gaz: Jagers?


Legend Gary insists a female Blackbird is a 'half-cast'

Glebe

DAZ: Been binge-watching that Breaking Bad, Gary, it's great! Wot you watchin'?

LEDGE: Benefits Street and The Updateables. Fucking BAFTA-worthy, Daz.

sponk

Legend Gary goes through chemo and gives himself a new nickname: Garibaldi. He tells it to all of his friends, family and co-workers, and several strangers. It only generates fake laughs and Gary goes to the pub toilet and cries. Then glasses a guy at the bar.

Glebe

"Heh, I tossed Spazzer Mick over a wall today, Daz!"

"You can be a real prick sometimes Gary, you know that?"

"That's just nastiness, Daz. That's just nastiness. Uncalled for."

sponk

Legend Gary bodyslams a shortarse for getting gobby in a bagel shop.

Bazooka

Legend Gary heats up a sausage roll with a lighter, as he checks if his burglary gloves are dry.

ZoyzaSorris

Legend Gary is sent to hell, sentenced to an eternity of 'hanging out the back of himself'. Loves it.

petril

Legend Gary shat on the pitch. wasn't even playing. Or in either squad. Or had a ticket. Or knew there was a match on.

Glebe

"Gonna host a '90s-themed rave party tonight, Daz!"

"Sound's fun, Gary. I'm sorry I can't make it."

"Your loss, Daz... okay, let's get ready for this!"

NEXT DAY.

"Nobody came, Daz. Nobody came."

ZoyzaSorris

Quote from: petrilTanaka on July 17, 2019, 09:08:49 PM
Legend Gary shat on the pitch. wasn't even playing. Or in either squad. Or had a ticket. Or knew there was a match on.

I like the idea of Desolation being part of the extended Gary cinematic universe - or is it the other way round? Aaah.