Author Topic: LEGEND GARY  (Read 123544 times)

St_Eddie

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2850 on: July 18, 2019, 12:06:58 PM »
Legend Gary is sent to hell, sentenced to an eternity of ‘hanging out the back of himself’. Loves it.

"It's like Ibiza, Daz, mate!"

Pingers

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2851 on: July 19, 2019, 02:57:36 PM »
Another stint on the sex offenders register after the "Gary Frotter" stunt amuses only its protagonist.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2852 on: July 19, 2019, 06:01:35 PM »
Legend Gary hedge-hops his way to a funeral.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2853 on: July 20, 2019, 11:11:52 AM »
Gary has a film of phlegm down his chin, glistening as he bemoans the current fashion for beards. A lot of his sentences end with 'about' and he ends the day having been glassed.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2854 on: July 20, 2019, 11:58:09 AM »
Legend Gary uses a live cam to advertise his comedy club, 'Munted'.

'Fuck PC - let's go'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2855 on: July 20, 2019, 11:39:10 PM »
Legend Gary's son, "Lone Wolf Warrior II" gets his first birthday tattoo.

St_Eddie

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2856 on: July 21, 2019, 03:09:06 AM »
Legend Gary's son, "Lone Wolf Warrior II" gets his first birthday tattoo.

At the age of 3 months.  "They're never too young to get their first 'BREXIT MEANS EXIT' tattoo, Daz."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2857 on: July 22, 2019, 11:05:56 PM »
BARMAN: LAST ORDERS, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!

GARY: …and I'll tell you something about the immigrants, Daz-

DAZ: -Oh here we go. Goodnight, Irene!

GARY: Don't bring Irene into this, Daz. And that wasn't my baby, by the way.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2858 on: July 24, 2019, 01:00:02 AM »
"Here Daz, is it true what they say about black men?"

"What, that they have big thingies? No, Gary, that's a childish, racist myth."

"How do you know Daz?!? You must of seen a black man's willy, hah!"

"Yes, Gary, I did, when I went to a gay orgy."

"Fuck's sake, wait till the lads here this!"

"They already know, Gary. They were there at the big black gay orgy too."

"DAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZ!!!"

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2859 on: July 24, 2019, 07:14:33 AM »
Legend Gary calls the new PM "Banter Boris" and sends a message to Number 10 inviting him to his next trip down the pub.


Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2860 on: July 24, 2019, 03:00:49 PM »
Legend Gary spends four hours insulting Remainers and "lefties" on Twitter.

dex

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2861 on: July 24, 2019, 04:20:25 PM »
"Time for some proper Conservative values to be put in place now old Boris is top dog, eh Daz?"

"Ledge, our benefits are going to reduce and everything is going to close down around us. Our quality of life is going to deteriorate as well."

"PROPER. CONSERVATIVE. VALUES. DAZ!!!"

Glebe

  • Cheers, thanks mate, nice one.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2862 on: July 25, 2019, 12:10:38 AM »
"I didn't understand what was going on in that film, Daz."

"Yeah, I suppose you have to see the other Marvel films to get all the references and that."

"Who was the main guy in the red suit swinging?"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2863 on: July 26, 2019, 12:11:07 AM »
"Here Daz, a nice bottle of Smirnoff Ice!"

"Oh cheers Gary... game of FIFA?"

"Nah mate, that bottle was down me joggin' pants... THAT BOTTLE WAS DOWN ME JOGGIN' PANTS! HUR HUR HUR!"

"Okay, I'll pour it into a glass."

"Yeah, well... haha... I tricked yah!"

"Settled down, Gary. Settle down."

phes

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2864 on: July 26, 2019, 01:02:34 PM »
Legend Gary gets on the voddy and kicks Bridlington Zoltar to bits

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2865 on: July 26, 2019, 07:19:58 PM »
Legend Gary is a genre of folklore that consists of a narrative featuring Gary's actions perceived or believed both by teller and listeners to have taken place within human history.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2866 on: July 26, 2019, 09:23:55 PM »
Legend Gary steals a car key from an elderly lady's safe and then runs over a couple of her friends.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2867 on: July 26, 2019, 09:25:56 PM »
Legend Gary pranks a lady in the pub to get her to get him to leave her alone.

Cuellar

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2868 on: July 26, 2019, 09:51:45 PM »
Gary sexes a homeless for the 'crack' (sic)

Blue Jam

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2869 on: July 27, 2019, 03:36:26 PM »
Legend Gary was never keen on fancy dress:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49137520

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2870 on: July 30, 2019, 04:00:40 AM »
Ledge and the lads go camping. After a few Stellas, everyone gets tired and climbs into their sleeping bags.

There is quiet for a bit, then Gary pipes up:

"Here Daz, are you wanking?"

"Oh shut up, Gary! Go back to sleep!"

Gary drops off again and Daz resumes tossing off to Handsome Harold's sleeping face in the moonlight.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2871 on: July 30, 2019, 07:54:39 PM »
Legend Gary dresses up as Jacob Rees Mogg and isn't quite sure why

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2872 on: July 30, 2019, 08:13:14 PM »
All girls love a ride in the Gazzarati (Ford Focus), yeah they're gagging to show me what's under their bonnet after a pootle round in the Gazzarati (Ford Focus) taking in the sights. It's not so much a passion as a lifestyle if you know what I mean.

king_tubby

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2873 on: July 30, 2019, 08:20:40 PM »
Legend Gary is disappointed that the new season of Orange Is The New Black isn't the mad violent lezbo titfest it was in the first few seasons.

'Why don't you just watch some porn, Gary?'

'Big Nigel's asked me to stand as an MP in the next election, Daz. Can't have Corbyn sniffing around my internet history.'

'VPN, Gary, VPN.'

'Can the nerd talk, poindexter.'

'Sorry Gary.'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2874 on: July 30, 2019, 08:41:20 PM »
Legend Gary's penis goes "viral".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2875 on: July 30, 2019, 08:47:52 PM »
Legend Gary plays a game called 'I'm the best friend of a homeless schizophrenic in the world'.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2876 on: July 30, 2019, 08:49:20 PM »
And they're like, it's better than yours

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2877 on: July 30, 2019, 08:51:54 PM »
Legend Gary watches the sunrise while riding an inflatable down the River Liffey.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2878 on: July 30, 2019, 08:56:21 PM »
Legend Gary's bedridden uncle is trying to have the police called to a home in Huddersfield where everyone is dying of AIDS.

'Run! There's no time to lose!'

Legend Gary then remembers he gave his own address rather than that of Darren of Pubes (he recently pivoted to using that nickname).

king_tubby

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2879 on: July 30, 2019, 08:59:27 PM »
'Sir Darren of Pubes! Woulds't thou care to join me in a flagon of Bud Light, dilly dilly!'

'Are you still doing that?'

'SAY DILLY DILLY DAZ OR I WILL SCAR YOUR KIDS'

'dilly dilly'