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LEGEND GARY

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, February 09, 2016, 11:19:54 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

St_Eddie

Quote from: ZoyzaSorris on July 17, 2019, 08:14:04 PM
Legend Gary is sent to hell, sentenced to an eternity of 'hanging out the back of himself'. Loves it.

"It's like Ibiza, Daz, mate!"

Pingers

Another stint on the sex offenders register after the "Gary Frotter" stunt amuses only its protagonist.

poo

Legend Gary hedge-hops his way to a funeral.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Gary has a film of phlegm down his chin, glistening as he bemoans the current fashion for beards. A lot of his sentences end with 'about' and he ends the day having been glassed.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary uses a live cam to advertise his comedy club, 'Munted'.

'Fuck PC - let's go'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary's son, "Lone Wolf Warrior II" gets his first birthday tattoo.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 20, 2019, 11:39:10 PM
Legend Gary's son, "Lone Wolf Warrior II" gets his first birthday tattoo.

At the age of 3 months.  "They're never too young to get their first 'BREXIT MEANS EXIT' tattoo, Daz."

Glebe

BARMAN: LAST ORDERS, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!

GARY: ...and I'll tell you something about the immigrants, Daz-

DAZ: -Oh here we go. Goodnight, Irene!

GARY: Don't bring Irene into this, Daz. And that wasn't my baby, by the way.

Glebe

"Here Daz, is it true what they say about black men?"

"What, that they have big thingies? No, Gary, that's a childish, racist myth."

"How do you know Daz?!? You must of seen a black man's willy, hah!"

"Yes, Gary, I did, when I went to a gay orgy."

"Fuck's sake, wait till the lads here this!"

"They already know, Gary. They were there at the big black gay orgy too."

"DAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZ!!!"

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary calls the new PM "Banter Boris" and sends a message to Number 10 inviting him to his next trip down the pub.


Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary spends four hours insulting Remainers and "lefties" on Twitter.

dex

"Time for some proper Conservative values to be put in place now old Boris is top dog, eh Daz?"

"Ledge, our benefits are going to reduce and everything is going to close down around us. Our quality of life is going to deteriorate as well."

"PROPER. CONSERVATIVE. VALUES. DAZ!!!"

Glebe

"I didn't understand what was going on in that film, Daz."

"Yeah, I suppose you have to see the other Marvel films to get all the references and that."

"Who was the main guy in the red suit swinging?"

Glebe

"Here Daz, a nice bottle of Smirnoff Ice!"

"Oh cheers Gary... game of FIFA?"

"Nah mate, that bottle was down me joggin' pants... THAT BOTTLE WAS DOWN ME JOGGIN' PANTS! HUR HUR HUR!"

"Okay, I'll pour it into a glass."

"Yeah, well... haha... I tricked yah!"

"Settled down, Gary. Settle down."

phes

Legend Gary gets on the voddy and kicks Bridlington Zoltar to bits

Cold Meat Platter

Legend Gary is a genre of folklore that consists of a narrative featuring Gary's actions perceived or believed both by teller and listeners to have taken place within human history.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary steals a car key from an elderly lady's safe and then runs over a couple of her friends.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary pranks a lady in the pub to get her to get him to leave her alone.

Cuellar

Gary sexes a homeless for the 'crack' (sic)

Blue Jam


Glebe

Ledge and the lads go camping. After a few Stellas, everyone gets tired and climbs into their sleeping bags.

There is quiet for a bit, then Gary pipes up:

"Here Daz, are you wanking?"

"Oh shut up, Gary! Go back to sleep!"

Gary drops off again and Daz resumes tossing off to Handsome Harold's sleeping face in the moonlight.

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary dresses up as Jacob Rees Mogg and isn't quite sure why

Shoulders?-Stomach!

All girls love a ride in the Gazzarati (Ford Focus), yeah they're gagging to show me what's under their bonnet after a pootle round in the Gazzarati (Ford Focus) taking in the sights. It's not so much a passion as a lifestyle if you know what I mean.

king_tubby

Legend Gary is disappointed that the new season of Orange Is The New Black isn't the mad violent lezbo titfest it was in the first few seasons.

'Why don't you just watch some porn, Gary?'

'Big Nigel's asked me to stand as an MP in the next election, Daz. Can't have Corbyn sniffing around my internet history.'

'VPN, Gary, VPN.'

'Can the nerd talk, poindexter.'

'Sorry Gary.'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary's penis goes "viral".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary plays a game called 'I'm the best friend of a homeless schizophrenic in the world'.

sponk

And they're like, it's better than yours

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary watches the sunrise while riding an inflatable down the River Liffey.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary's bedridden uncle is trying to have the police called to a home in Huddersfield where everyone is dying of AIDS.

'Run! There's no time to lose!'

Legend Gary then remembers he gave his own address rather than that of Darren of Pubes (he recently pivoted to using that nickname).

king_tubby

'Sir Darren of Pubes! Woulds't thou care to join me in a flagon of Bud Light, dilly dilly!'

'Are you still doing that?'

'SAY DILLY DILLY DAZ OR I WILL SCAR YOUR KIDS'

'dilly dilly'