Author Topic: LEGEND GARY  (Read 131685 times)

phes

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2880 on: July 30, 2019, 09:05:27 PM »
Legend Gary turns up on New Year's Eve in a Wimbledon FC kit and goes round crushing all the lads testicles

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2881 on: July 31, 2019, 04:51:50 AM »
"Just off to the pub for a few pints with Nurofen Nick and Glass-Your-Face Martin, fancy tagging along, Daz?"

"Er, NO?"

"Uh... alright then, see you later mate."

"Haven't you forgotten something, Gary?"

"Um... I've got me wallet and keys... oh yeah, me Burberry cap, cheers Daz, I'd be naked without it!"

"No Gary... you promised to take me for a drive in the country today."

"Oh right, yeah... well, some other time Daz, eh?"

"'Some other time, Daz'... you care less and less about my feelings every day, don't you, Gary?"

"WE ARE NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!"

"You've become cold... distant..."

"I never promised you a rose garden, Daz. I never promised you a rose garden."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2882 on: July 31, 2019, 10:00:30 PM »
Legend Gary doesn't want to close his eyes. He doesn't want to fall asleep because he'd miss you baby, and he doesn't want to miss a, oh what's that - some chips

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2883 on: July 31, 2019, 10:08:51 PM »
Legend Gary runs and jumps into a puddle in order to cure himself of "cancer".

touchingcloth

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2884 on: July 31, 2019, 10:14:08 PM »
Legend Gary sharts on a conquest.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2885 on: July 31, 2019, 10:19:50 PM »
Legend Gary makes £100,000 selling the ability to use a motorbike.

petrilTanaka

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2886 on: July 31, 2019, 10:20:54 PM »
Legend Gary is led away from the children's ward in handcuffs. "OH SO IT'S ONE RULE FOR WHEN EDMONDS TELLS THEM THEY'D NOT HAVE CANCER WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND ANOTHER FOR YER ORDINARY HARD WORKING FOLK", he wails, mentally comitting to just playing the Monopoly fruity with the dodgy lights in future as a protest

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2887 on: July 31, 2019, 10:37:41 PM »
Legend Gary finds himself face-to-face with a dead baby while out with his friends in the middle of the M40.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2888 on: July 31, 2019, 10:39:41 PM »
Legend Gary is forced to attend an anti-porn film festival.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2889 on: July 31, 2019, 10:44:43 PM »
Legend Gary is so terrified of being murdered by a pig that he spends Christmas in his mum's freezer.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2890 on: August 01, 2019, 05:47:26 AM »
"Stella and a wank - the perfect night in!"

Chollis

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2891 on: August 01, 2019, 12:09:23 PM »
"When I say LEGEND, you say GARY!!!!"
"Legend!"
"Gary!"
"Legend!"
"Gary!"


"Thanks to Linda's nephew Gary for that....touching eulogy. We'll now hear a reading from Isaiah 41:10."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2892 on: August 02, 2019, 12:19:52 AM »
"Send 'em back, Daz. I'm sick of these immigrants coming over and... y'know... being a nuisance..."

"What's that, Gary?"

"Uh... lost me train of thought there, Daz… the gays?"

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2893 on: August 02, 2019, 02:49:19 AM »
Legend Gary sicks up a communion wafer

Blue Jam

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2894 on: August 02, 2019, 02:27:07 PM »
"Nah Daz, I don't need driving lessons, I've played enough GTAV, it looks like a piece of piss":

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-norfolk-49206600/a11-attleborough-flying-van-driver-banned-for-a-year

dr_christian_troy

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2895 on: August 02, 2019, 02:39:40 PM »
Legend Gary challenges a landlady to an arm wrestle as a bet for money, knowing full well she has onset crippling arthritis caused by psoriatic arthropathy.

king_tubby

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2896 on: August 02, 2019, 02:43:38 PM »
Legend Gary covers up systematic child abuse by local councillors.

That'll be Legend Gary MBE to you now, Pubes.

phes

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2897 on: August 02, 2019, 08:42:20 PM »
Legend Gary throws a headless pigeon into the pub and shouts catch

Better Midlands

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2898 on: August 03, 2019, 12:29:18 PM »
Legend Gary's back in the room with the DMT pipe still in his hand.

"Where's my Stanley Gaz, I'm going in again tooled up"

Blue Jam

  • Bring back my Bond girls.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2899 on: August 03, 2019, 06:24:51 PM »
-

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2900 on: August 03, 2019, 07:35:04 PM »
Legend Gary challenges a landlady to an arm wrestle as a bet for money, knowing full well she has onset crippling arthritis caused by psoriatic arthropathy.

Gives her a slap for starters as - in his opinion- the contest needs "a bit of an edge"

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2901 on: August 03, 2019, 10:34:22 PM »
Legend Gary becomes a Christian in order to stay warm during the cold night of the year.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2902 on: August 03, 2019, 10:49:16 PM »
Legend Gary drinks the blood of a dog in water pistols.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2903 on: August 03, 2019, 10:59:16 PM »
Legend Gary visits the Royal Botanic Gardens to try new things and finds them to be a little...off.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2904 on: August 03, 2019, 11:09:13 PM »
Legend Gary tries to seduce a woman by making her sing God Save the Queen.

dex

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2905 on: August 04, 2019, 08:01:31 AM »
Legend Gary burns a big pile of books -just like in Bayballsplaits in Germany back in the day.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2906 on: August 04, 2019, 04:54:15 PM »
"Three days and nights pursuit... no food... no rest... and no sign of our quarry but what bare rock can tell."

"Yeah, don't think it's been worth it chasing them nerds in the end, Gary."

"You're right Daz fuck it let's go home."

Glebe

  • Essence-enhanced "hmmm!"-ing buzzard.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2907 on: August 05, 2019, 11:05:38 AM »
"What would it take to make you go gay, Gary?"

"Nothing could make me turn, Daz. I wouldn't for all the money in the world."

"Shit, only one Stella left in the fridge. I'll let you have it if you suck me off, Gary."

"Yeah, go on then."

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2908 on: August 05, 2019, 02:41:32 PM »
Legend Gary starts an MC battle with a stranger on the train. When it's the stranger's turn to rap and he turns out to be considerably more proficient than Gary had anticipated, Gary just shouts over him about how his opponent's mother's asshole tastes of bacon, foregoing rhyme or any sense of rhythm, shouting the man down until he leaves the carriage. Gary then declares himself to have won the battle, but not before the train conductor informs him that he is due to be arrested the moment he steps off the train.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2909 on: August 05, 2019, 07:46:01 PM »
"What would it take to make you go gay, Gary?"

"Nothing could make me turn, Daz. I wouldn't for all the money in the world."

"Shit, only one Stella left in the fridge. I'll let you have it if you suck me off, Gary."

"Yeah, go on then."

That one was funny.