Author Topic: LEGEND GARY  (Read 131693 times)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2910 on: August 05, 2019, 09:02:23 PM »
Gaz

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2911 on: August 05, 2019, 09:08:06 PM »
Gaz

The last bit of Daz’s unique identity sloughs off. He accepts it. Plenty of time to cry later.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2912 on: August 05, 2019, 10:54:44 PM »
Legend Gary opens all the bags of crisps "for a laugh"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2913 on: August 06, 2019, 10:23:17 AM »
"I'm not gonna say anything racist or sexist or homophobic no more, Daz."

"That's great Gary, good to see you've matured somewhat."

"Nah it's just that it's not cool anymore. I wanna be part of the 'in-crowd', Daz."

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2914 on: August 06, 2019, 12:54:33 PM »

Chollis

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2915 on: August 06, 2019, 03:00:27 PM »
Dear Gary,

I wrote you but you still ain't called

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2916 on: August 07, 2019, 10:09:39 AM »
"I tell you what Daz, if we had that Trump over here he'd sort out that Brexit for us!"

"Well, we have Boris Johnson now Gary. People are calling him the 'British Trump'."

"Oh - that's brilliant, Daz! HAHAHA!!! Yeah, he's- BRILLIANT! - the yellow wig and everyfink! HAHAHA!!!"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2917 on: August 08, 2019, 10:57:27 AM »
"I hate all this fake 'social media' helping-people, Daz. Back in the day, them 'voice of reason' columns in the tabloids would set things right when people starting getting all moral. The likes of Littlejohn helped set the record straight when people started worrying about the third worlds. Let 'em sort their own problems out, we've enough on our plate!"

"In reaction to that I am donating ten pounds to Oxfam, Gary."

"Tch."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2918 on: August 08, 2019, 04:39:47 PM »
"Where did you hide the Stella cans, Daz? We haven't got much time!"

"What you on about, Daz? Here, this isn't real, is it?"

"HE KNOWS HE'S DREAMING, GET ME OUT OF HERE LADS!"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2919 on: August 09, 2019, 01:58:18 PM »
"I don't mind 'em until they get all touchy-feely with yah, Daz."

"What's this, 'the gays', Gary?"

"Nah, the Chinese, Daz. Small yellow fingers. Small yellow fingers."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2920 on: August 09, 2019, 09:54:59 PM »
Legend Gary walks naked through the streets of Newcastle and finds that people hate him.

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2921 on: August 09, 2019, 09:58:08 PM »
Legend Gary walks naked through the streets of Newcastle and finds that people hate him.

His missus just lost a shoe in Costa at Central Station and her less drunk pal has returned 10 minutes later to fetch it

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2922 on: August 09, 2019, 10:23:13 PM »
After a profound series of mistakes Legend Gary is trapped in his own piss as a snake swallows his face.

BlodwynPig

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2923 on: August 09, 2019, 10:30:55 PM »
“3.5 years and your fan thread has still not reached 100 pages, Ledge”

*the limp body of Pubes Daz is seen tumbling through the upper floor window of a council house*

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2924 on: August 09, 2019, 10:53:27 PM »
Legend Gary goes into a fugue state while listening to the song "Tiny Dancer".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2925 on: August 09, 2019, 11:28:49 PM »
Legend Gary's family are all terrified of his new pet dog Black Hawk Down

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2926 on: August 10, 2019, 12:30:15 AM »
"Here Ledge, someone's sprayed 'IRA' on the wall across the road!"

"Heh, that were me, Daz!"

"But the IRA are the anti-Britain one, Gary!"

"...Oh yeah. Fuck's sake. Ah well. Nevermind."

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2927 on: August 10, 2019, 05:35:40 AM »
Another poker night, and memories need to be straightened out. Legend Gary did not still drink from a beaker at the age of 4. And he had a BMX not a fuckin' Grifter. You do not wanna be in traction for a month. Let him go home happy.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2928 on: August 10, 2019, 11:58:41 AM »
Legend Gary makes a piglet vomit at the behest of another member of the troupe.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2929 on: August 10, 2019, 06:49:49 PM »
Legend Gary books seven tickets for Roy Chubby Brown for Pubes' birthday.

Legend Gary sits in a shopping trolley and Pubes pushes him from Tesco to Matalan. They have to stop when Gary is sick all over himself, having had too many lagers. Gary walks home, swearing at passers by, while Pubes goes off to meet his girlfriend.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2930 on: August 10, 2019, 10:27:48 PM »
"DAZ, DAZ, E4 called, they wanna make a documentary about me entitled, Gary: The Truth Behind the Legend! I'm gonna be a star!"

"It's just gonna be another voyeuristic, ordinary pleb reality TV exploitation piece, Gary."

"I know Daz, I'm so excited! Break out the Stella, for tonight we celebrate!"

king_tubby

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2931 on: August 11, 2019, 03:04:20 PM »
Legend Gary spunks on a monk.

'Not gay if it rhymes, Daz, that's the rule.'

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2932 on: August 11, 2019, 07:04:15 PM »
Ledge is sitting at home in the flat when his mobile rings. It's Daz.

"Alright Gary, just a quick question... in what year was homosexuality decriminalised in England?"

"What?!? Why are you asking me that, Daz?"

"I'm at a pub quiz, Gary!"

"Oh right. Er, 1967, I think. Yeah, 1967."

"Alright cheers see you tonight Gazza."

Angrew Lloyg Wegger

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2933 on: August 11, 2019, 10:19:30 PM »
Legend Gary goes to space

Zero gravity legend

Oh mate

Legend Gary in space

Fucking

Weightless wank

Go on mate give it a go

Bubble o cum no harm done

king_tubby

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2934 on: August 11, 2019, 10:33:23 PM »
'Hang on Gary, this rhyme thing, you've cum in my bum and nut in my butt, put your nob in my gob and took my hole with your pole - are you still saying it isn't gay?'

'Rhymes, Daz. Rules.'

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2935 on: August 11, 2019, 11:10:59 PM »
Those tazers that the rozzers use don't work on me. Highest setting hurts a bit but I just laugh it off and do a runner. You should see their faces.

petrilTanaka

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2936 on: August 12, 2019, 08:25:44 AM »
Legend Gary walks away, boasting of his win. Nobody else knew there was any kind of contest, or what it was over, just a guy walking away going "FUCKING WINNER MATE".

was he even aiming at anyone or anything?

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2937 on: August 12, 2019, 09:01:09 AM »
Legend Gary and his mates walk up and down the Abbey Road crossing for three hours


« Last Edit: August 12, 2019, 09:24:28 AM by Fambo Number Mive »

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2938 on: August 12, 2019, 11:05:44 PM »
Legend Gary picks up a woman he hasn't talked to before and uses her as a pillowcase.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #2939 on: August 12, 2019, 11:08:43 PM »
Legend Gary pretends he is a bird watching enthusiast and watches his favourite bird (sardines).