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LEGEND GARY

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, February 09, 2016, 11:19:54 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Ferris

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 05, 2019, 09:02:23 PM
Gaz

The last bit of Daz's unique identity sloughs off. He accepts it. Plenty of time to cry later.

Cold Meat Platter

Legend Gary opens all the bags of crisps "for a laugh"

Glebe

"I'm not gonna say anything racist or sexist or homophobic no more, Daz."

"That's great Gary, good to see you've matured somewhat."

"Nah it's just that it's not cool anymore. I wanna be part of the 'in-crowd', Daz."


Chollis

Dear Gary,

I wrote you but you still ain't called

Glebe

"I tell you what Daz, if we had that Trump over here he'd sort out that Brexit for us!"

"Well, we have Boris Johnson now Gary. People are calling him the 'British Trump'."

"Oh - that's brilliant, Daz! HAHAHA!!! Yeah, he's- BRILLIANT! - the yellow wig and everyfink! HAHAHA!!!"

Glebe

"I hate all this fake 'social media' helping-people, Daz. Back in the day, them 'voice of reason' columns in the tabloids would set things right when people starting getting all moral. The likes of Littlejohn helped set the record straight when people started worrying about the third worlds. Let 'em sort their own problems out, we've enough on our plate!"

"In reaction to that I am donating ten pounds to Oxfam, Gary."

"Tch."

Glebe

"Where did you hide the Stella cans, Daz? We haven't got much time!"

"What you on about, Daz? Here, this isn't real, is it?"

"HE KNOWS HE'S DREAMING, GET ME OUT OF HERE LADS!"

Glebe

"I don't mind 'em until they get all touchy-feely with yah, Daz."

"What's this, 'the gays', Gary?"

"Nah, the Chinese, Daz. Small yellow fingers. Small yellow fingers."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary walks naked through the streets of Newcastle and finds that people hate him.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on August 09, 2019, 09:54:59 PM
Legend Gary walks naked through the streets of Newcastle and finds that people hate him.

His missus just lost a shoe in Costa at Central Station and her less drunk pal has returned 10 minutes later to fetch it

Shoulders?-Stomach!

After a profound series of mistakes Legend Gary is trapped in his own piss as a snake swallows his face.

BlodwynPig

"3.5 years and your fan thread has still not reached 100 pages, Ledge"

*the limp body of Pubes Daz is seen tumbling through the upper floor window of a council house*

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary goes into a fugue state while listening to the song "Tiny Dancer".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary's family are all terrified of his new pet dog Black Hawk Down

Glebe

"Here Ledge, someone's sprayed 'IRA' on the wall across the road!"

"Heh, that were me, Daz!"

"But the IRA are the anti-Britain one, Gary!"

"...Oh yeah. Fuck's sake. Ah well. Nevermind."

Fishfinger

Another poker night, and memories need to be straightened out. Legend Gary did not still drink from a beaker at the age of 4. And he had a BMX not a fuckin' Grifter. You do not wanna be in traction for a month. Let him go home happy.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary makes a piglet vomit at the behest of another member of the troupe.

Fambo Number Mive

Legend Gary books seven tickets for Roy Chubby Brown for Pubes' birthday.

Legend Gary sits in a shopping trolley and Pubes pushes him from Tesco to Matalan. They have to stop when Gary is sick all over himself, having had too many lagers. Gary walks home, swearing at passers by, while Pubes goes off to meet his girlfriend.

Glebe

"DAZ, DAZ, E4 called, they wanna make a documentary about me entitled, Gary: The Truth Behind the Legend! I'm gonna be a star!"

"It's just gonna be another voyeuristic, ordinary pleb reality TV exploitation piece, Gary."

"I know Daz, I'm so excited! Break out the Stella, for tonight we celebrate!"

king_tubby

Legend Gary spunks on a monk.

'Not gay if it rhymes, Daz, that's the rule.'

Glebe

Ledge is sitting at home in the flat when his mobile rings. It's Daz.

"Alright Gary, just a quick question... in what year was homosexuality decriminalised in England?"

"What?!? Why are you asking me that, Daz?"

"I'm at a pub quiz, Gary!"

"Oh right. Er, 1967, I think. Yeah, 1967."

"Alright cheers see you tonight Gazza."

Stoneage Dinosaurs

Legend Gary goes to space

Zero gravity legend

Oh mate

Legend Gary in space

Fucking

Weightless wank

Go on mate give it a go

Bubble o cum no harm done

king_tubby

'Hang on Gary, this rhyme thing, you've cum in my bum and nut in my butt, put your nob in my gob and took my hole with your pole - are you still saying it isn't gay?'

'Rhymes, Daz. Rules.'

Puce Moment

Those tazers that the rozzers use don't work on me. Highest setting hurts a bit but I just laugh it off and do a runner. You should see their faces.

petril

Legend Gary walks away, boasting of his win. Nobody else knew there was any kind of contest, or what it was over, just a guy walking away going "FUCKING WINNER MATE".

was he even aiming at anyone or anything?

Fambo Number Mive

#2937
Legend Gary and his mates walk up and down the Abbey Road crossing for three hours



Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary picks up a woman he hasn't talked to before and uses her as a pillowcase.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary pretends he is a bird watching enthusiast and watches his favourite bird (sardines).