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LEGEND GARY

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, February 09, 2016, 11:19:54 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Fambo Number Mive

"Just banter, Daz. If England had won we wouldn't need to compensate with some turd throwing"

NSFW: https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17833039.charges-dismissed-two-wiltshire-men-accused-lobbing-poo-train/

dex

The Ledge enjoys ringing Nick Ferrari on his LBC show and asking loaded questions such as "do you still knock your mrs around?"

"Helps them out, Daz. Helps them out."

Glebe

Ledge buys a mask of a skeksis from The Dark Crystal on Amazon. Daz comes back from the shops one day and as soon as he opens the flat door, Ledge jumps out into the hall.

"RARRRRRGGHHHH!!!"

"Fuck's sake, Gary, you scared the living shit out of me!"

"Tch! Daz, you fucking little nerd! I'll fucking kill yeh yah wimp, c'mere!"

Ferris


Glebe

"You're a pathetic fucking little loser nerd freak, Daz."

Daz starts crying.

"Just bantz, Daz. Just bantz."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary gives a piggyback ride to an old flame.

Glebe

Gary cadges change outside the offie until noon.

Glebe

Daz does a bit of window shopping around the Arndale Centre to the sound of the Noseybonk theme.

dex

Gary gets a tattoo of Winnie the Pooh holding a balloon.

Fambo Number Mive

Gary emails his local paper saying he is happy to form a government of "lads" to sort out Brexit.

Pubes Daz will be Minister without Portfolio, Legend Gary will be Prime Minister, Minister for Sport and Minister for Culture.

The letter is not printed and his email address is blocked.

Glebe

Ledge and Daz are watching Britain's Roughest Chavs on some crappy channel or other.

"Next time you're feeling bad about yourself, just be thankful you ain't sunk to the level of this bunch of lads, Daz!"

"Yes, Gary, I'm thankful I haven't. I'm thankful I haven't..."

Glebe

"Fancy a pint, Daz?"

"Nah Gary gonna stay home and get some knitting done."

Glebe

"Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary!"

"Stop fucking about Ledge and press 'START'. Here's the joint."

Sebastian Cobb

Gary sing-shouts The Theme from S-Xpress to a cabbaged tramp in a doorway.

2 in the afternoon.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary steals the groundsman's tractor and runs over Steve Smith 'for the nation/lols'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary pretends to be the King of Denmark, and sings in the streets of Oslo.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

#2956
Oh no, Legend Gary is on one of his farting binges again.

And I mean binge

Glebe

"Happy Birthday Daz, here you go mate!"

"Oh brilliant Gary, cheers man! Just let me get the wrapping off... looks like a games console, or..."


Glebe

"Fancy another game of FIFA, Gary? Gary?"

"Oh sorry Daz, I was temporarily distracted by a fog of ennui."

Glebe

"Daz, I have a confession to make. I don't like football."

"Ha ha, wait till I tell the lads about this, Gary!"

Daz is found dead in a field in Essex the next day.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary's burkini goes down a storm with the lads, the local constabulary, and as far as he can tell 'the rest of those Tunisian cunts'

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary is credited for the first 'Wank On', which was recorded during the first 'Shag Off' in 1983

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary takes a break from pranking the world by visiting a hot dog stand.

the midnight watch baboon

Legend Gary has got It 2 on deev. Drew that clown cunt on the cover himself, in arty black biro.

Glebe

"Bored, Daz. What will we do?"

"How about trying out the new VR thing I got, Gary?"

"Yeah, go on then!"

"By the way, Gary... you know that Black Mirror episode 'Striking Vipers'?"

Glebe

"Here Gary, I-"

"Nah fuck it, Daz. Not arsed, mate. Not arsed."

Glebe

"I has been bitten by a darcula Daz, beware, raaargh!!!"

"Unconvincing, Gary. Unconvincing."

dex

Not safe for work? Don't fuckin' matter mate cos I ain't got a job. Ha!

Glebe

"Here Daz, do you-"

"NO, Gary."

"You ain't heard what I was gonna say yet."

"Sigh. Okay then, go on..."

"D'you fancy strangling a load of cats and fucking them over a bridge at cars?"

Fambo Number Mive

"Sir Legend of Gary, I presume? On guard."

"Ah, Sir Pubes of Daz. We meet again. Take that, you foul tyrant"

"Hah, my sword is more than a match for your puny blade."

"If you two don't put the baguettes down, pay for the damage and leave I'm calling the police."