Author Topic: LEGEND GARY  (Read 137132 times)

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1860 on: March 12, 2018, 12:50:17 AM »
Massive fart in John Lewis. Yes, man! Fucking yes.

LG. Yes, man!

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1861 on: March 12, 2018, 09:15:03 AM »
Ledge makes a point of blasting marching band music out of his bluetooth speaker when he walks around town rather than the grime and drivel that the other youth do.

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1862 on: March 12, 2018, 10:46:33 AM »
Ledge steals a Ferrari and drives around Leicestershire blasting a grime compilation and catcalling birds.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1863 on: March 12, 2018, 11:33:53 AM »
Ledge can't remember the last time he had so much fun. Shat in the urinal and blocked the toilet. Fucking 'ey! Guffaws to himself the gents have to scramble somewhere else now.

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1864 on: March 13, 2018, 09:49:24 AM »
Legend is railroaded into attending a pottery class with his little sister Jade. But he actually gets really into it and is looking forward to next week.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1865 on: March 14, 2018, 10:32:31 PM »
"Happy Mother's Day, Ma Ledge! Lots of love, Gary xxx"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-43391219

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1866 on: March 15, 2018, 03:05:58 AM »
The main problem is the captions for those greetings cards aren't funny, and with the shock-tactic being on a par with dead baby jokes it's important that it contains at least some wit. No problem with them existing, they are intended to be from one person to another, it's not like they've employed a plane to sky-write the content.

Legend Gary employs a sky-writer to draw "Daz is a bumder" across from his office on a lunch hour.

Expensive yes, but memories to treasure for a lifetime.

It rains on the day :(

JoeyBananaduck

  • Blame It On Mom
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1867 on: March 15, 2018, 09:15:09 AM »
Gaz breaks his foot kicking a lamppost in frustration at failing to outwit a pigeon.

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1868 on: March 15, 2018, 09:44:13 AM »
Gaz breaks his foot kicking a lamppost in frustration at failing to outwit a pigeon.

"Thanks, GS, your advice on outwitting humans has really paid off in spades!"

"N'problem, Plunky Pigeon, glad to help!"

JoeyBananaduck

  • Blame It On Mom
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1869 on: March 15, 2018, 09:54:08 AM »
^ lovely stuff. We don't explore crossover potential enough.

----------------


Ledge is temporarily elated when his recipe for a 'Pubes and Fart Toastie' is accidentally published on allrecipes.com
Within 10 minutes the mistake is realised and it is taken down. Ledge is banned from further submissions.
"Still," he guffaws to himself "I wonder how many people had a go at making one? The looks on their faces mate!"

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1870 on: March 15, 2018, 11:27:23 PM »
The main problem is the captions for those greetings cards aren't funny, and with the shock-tactic being on a par with dead baby jokes it's important that it contains at least some wit.

Legend Gary loved Ricky Gervais' Humanity.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1871 on: March 16, 2018, 06:16:31 AM »
Legend Gary makes a big show of burning the instructions for how to assemble a flat pack wardrobe.

"I'll piss it mate, no need for the gays handbook"


Has to abandon the attempt after 10 minutes and flogs the remains to a drug dealer for 3% of the purchase price.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1872 on: March 16, 2018, 08:42:59 AM »
Ledge makes a fake twitter account to troll lefties.

Ends up being a star contributor for Britain First. Ledge has a guilty crush on Jada Fransen cos she's older than the usual Ledge age preference.

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1873 on: March 16, 2018, 04:30:58 PM »
"See this, Daz? More asylum seekers!"

"I wouldn't believe everything you read in The Daily Express, Gary!"

"I can't read Daz, it's just there's pictures of darkies queueing up!"

"That's the premier of Black Panther, Gary. That's the premier of Black Panther."

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1874 on: March 17, 2018, 09:41:05 PM »
Gary does bounce a full can of Tennants off a passing bloke noggin.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1875 on: March 17, 2018, 10:05:18 PM »
Alright Gaz drinking up time

Gaz


I'M TALKING TO YOUR FUCKING IGNORANT BALD ARSE


whu..? 

K k

Jeeez

Getting a little hot in these rhinos

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1876 on: March 18, 2018, 05:19:53 AM »
"Fancy some cheese and walkies, Daz?"

Daz looks down the camera and sighs.

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1877 on: March 18, 2018, 04:39:20 PM »
Gary and Daz take the ferry over to Belfast for Paddy's Day. "Let's get pissed up on Guinness and teach them dirty, backwards terrorists a lesson, eh, Daz? No killing, mind. Have to drawn the line somewhere."

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1878 on: March 18, 2018, 08:53:22 PM »
Ledge is called a sausage by a chap from the travelling community. Takes it as a compliment. It's not.

Beagle 2

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1879 on: March 18, 2018, 09:28:41 PM »
Legend Gary tries to raise money for kids with cancer by starting up the cigs in a microwave challenge.

Best of intentions this time but nothing achieved but an uninhabitable flat and a public safety warning from an incredulous local fire chief.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1880 on: March 19, 2018, 02:06:48 AM »
Legend Gary tries to subtly achieve orgasm through pocket pool during his performance review.

Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1881 on: March 19, 2018, 02:12:42 AM »
Legend Gary does an impression of Trevor McDonald smoking "a massive bifter", bringing another HR meeting to an abrupt end.

Captain Poodle Basher

  • Teaching cats to cook since 1986
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1882 on: March 19, 2018, 08:32:32 AM »
Legend Gary does an impression of Trevor McDonald smoking "a massive bifter", bringing another HR meeting to an abrupt end.

After yet another stressful day dealing with Gary Legend, the head of HR heads for home only to find that someone's done a shit on the bonnet of her car.






Dr Syntax Head

  • Empty alcohol
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1883 on: March 19, 2018, 09:24:50 AM »
Enjoying a day off in the snow, on the way to the Spar for fags our Ledge tightly packs a snowball to the hardness of a snooker ball and launches it full pelt into the face of a 12 year boy during a snowball fight. Laughs and shouts at the kid to not be a 'girly poof' as the kid falls to the icy ground crying.

Beagle 2

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1884 on: March 19, 2018, 01:18:37 PM »
Quiet day at the zoo, off season and hardly anybody around, time for the staff to catch up on admin and oh for fuck's sake Legend Gary has fire extinguished a marmoset.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1885 on: March 19, 2018, 05:07:27 PM »
Ledge spends the afternoon frisbeeing stale jaffa cakes off the side of a hill. Twat with a beard, ten points! Didn't know what hit him!

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1886 on: March 19, 2018, 09:12:04 PM »
Ledge bums a squirrel in Clacton.

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1887 on: March 20, 2018, 05:25:00 AM »
"Do you believe in aliens, Daz?"

"Of course, Ledge! Just look at the amount of footage on YouTube. The evidence is overwhelming."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1888 on: March 20, 2018, 08:05:42 AM »
Legend Gary is triggered by foreign aid so calls Jeremy Vine to discuss the issue in further detail.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: LEGEND GARY
« Reply #1889 on: March 20, 2018, 08:13:27 AM »
Legend Gary is triggered by foreign aid so calls Jeremy Vine to discuss the issue in further detail.

Ledge goes off script on the call and manages to get in a barbed "Pinko Cunt" to Vine before "technical difficulties" end the contact.